


Connection

by KeyToCastlesInTheAir



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Armitage has plans, Awkward Crush, Double Agents, F/M, Flashbacks, Humor, I Love You, Interrupted, Into the water, Kyber Crystals, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Marriage of Convenience, Original planet, Prisoners, Rey is forced to kill, Reylo - Freeform, Things don't go according to plan, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, authorization needed, dark voice, emotionally tongue-tied, error, escapes that don't go so well, first order academy, harebrained schemes, injured Ben, minor original character death, people with masks are always so polite to Rey, returning the feeling, rey hux, send a rescue party, stormtrooper disguise Ben Solo, will they or won't they
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2018-10-12 23:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 47,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10501341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeyToCastlesInTheAir/pseuds/KeyToCastlesInTheAir
Summary: Ben Solo returns to the light in honor of his late father's memory. To atone for his dark past, he agrees to go undercover for the Resistance, accompanied by Rey, as his wife. Together, they set out to infiltrate the inner workings of the First Order.





	1. Chapter 1

[Ahch-To] 

A crisply pressed white Jedi robe waited on the back of the shuttle’s lavatory door.

Kylo Ren ran his long fingers through his dark hair. His locks were soft, and glossy, to be sure, but all the hair products in the galaxy wouldn’t satisfy him today.

Disgusted, he plunged his head over the facet, once more, resolved to start over. Head soaked, he grasped for the last dry towel, and allowed a brooding puff of air to escape his wet lips.

He didn’t know why he bothered.

It wasn’t like she’d notice the lengths he went for his appearance.

Besides, his eyes seemed to bother her somehow. She never met or kept his gaze for very long. The scar over his eyebrow, the reminder of their duel, probably disturbed her as well.

He glanced back at the robe. White. It had to be white. Of all the colors, white was the very one that would wash his complexion out the most.

But he paused to consider, she wanted it, had chosen the color. Requested it.

As he swept the comb through his hair, he knew it was probably the only pleasure he’d be giving the bride on their wedding day. Although it was next to nothing, a trifle, Ren would never deny a wish from the Scavenger.

From outside the door, Chewbacca, the infernal Wookie, gave an impatient roar.

“I need more time!” Ren growled with frustration. This wasn’t the sort of day to be rushed! But what would a Wookie know? The tangled walking carpet had probably been married in a dung heap.

Never one to give up the last word, Chewbacca growled back.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey clutched her handkerchief a little tighter. The physical action of twisting and straightening the material gave her a strange sense of comfort. Luke had taught her to breath. She had practiced upon awaking. Yet, the nerves were getting the better of her.

Would this work?

Or would it fail miserably?

Rey felt her Master’s presence before he knocked.

Luke tapped at the door. Finding it slightly ajar, he remained outside and gently called, “Rey? It’s nearly sunrise.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” she agreed. “I’m ready. Or ready, as I’ll ever be.”

She watched him enter the doorway. His eyes widen and a boyish smile flashed on his face before it fell back to the ways of the serious Jedi.

“You know, you don’t have to do this,” he said sternly.

“It’s only a name,” she reminded him, “And the benefits, the opportunities, the protection…”

Luke nodded, looking Rey square in the eye, he added, “He’s always been a wildcard, unpredictable…just like his parents. He’s comfortable with his shadow, thrives in it. I wish, it was my greatest hope, that I could say he always does right.” Luke frowned. “But, of course, you’ve witnessed him at his worst.”

Luke didn’t have to say it. Of course, he meant Han’s death.

Silence sat quietly between them. Each reflected on the life and memories of their friend.

“He’s unpredictable,” Luke finally continued, “But I feel…I know, he’ll honor this.” Softer, he added, “I’ve foreseen it.”

It was Rey’s turn to nod. She then turned her face away, needing a moment to think.

The plan was risky. Not only because of the deceit, but also, the dependence on Kylo Ren. Yet, surely, Luke Skywalker could not be wrong. She trusted him, and would have to trust his vision.

There was another thing. The bond. The eerie connection she felt to Kylo Ren. She’d never be free of it. Therefore, she also had to trust he’d keep his word. He vowed to help them, and to deliver her to the First Order under the safest of pretenses.

“There’s only one way to find out,” Luke broke her from her thoughts. “If I’m wrong, and you’re in over your head, you can always reach out to Leia or Chewie.” Luke tried to smile. Rey knew he needed her final decision. If she wanted a ceremony at sunrise, they had to move.

“Course,” she sat her wrinkled handkerchief back on the sink. “We have to believe him. You’ve trained me well. If I don’t try, I’ve already failed.”

Rey straightened her gown and took Luke’s arm.

It was now or never.


	3. Chapter 3

The dawn of the new day grew and spread its first orange gleam across the steady ocean. Seafaring birds woke from the safety their nests. Their soft cries echoed over the cliffs of Ahch-To as they made for the sky.

Ren took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the clean, salty ocean air.

There had been a gentle rain the night before, causing Ahch-To to appear greener, fresher than he had ever seen it. The bright hue was almost dreamlike compared to his daily toll on the cold and static Battlecrusier.

As he marveled at the color a moment longer, he was rather reminded of Takodana. He had never dreamed, that fateful day in the forest would lead to a wedding.

Yet, dreams were pointless, fruitless visions to be forgotten.

No, he’d known, somewhere in the back reaches of his mind, in the Force woven fabric of his soul.

Well, to be honest, no. He’d received no Force vision of a wedding. He had, however, felt destiny was at hand. He and the Scavenger, they were meant for more. There was a purpose, and the purpose called for them both.

Today, this beautiful morning, was full of purpose.

It helped that he loved her. He had known for quite some time.

If only love was the reason for the wedding.

His father had once teased him about love. Like any boy, he had balked at the affection his parents had for each other. Every kiss was vulgar and potentially contagious.

Han Solo had laughed at him.

“Ben, crazy as it sounds, someday, son, you might want a girl to kiss you. You might not mind being married very much. You might even love her as much as I love your mother.”

Han Solo, right about so many things.

Ren drew in another breath of sea air. Allowing the Force to flow over him and through him, he renewed his vow.

Father.

This day forward is for you.

The Force, in all of its glory, allowed him to know and feel so many things. Yet, his father was lost to him. He had returned to the Force, to depths Ren could not reach.

He no longer felt the presence of Han Solo. But he could feel her as she approached.

His bride.

Well, more like the innocent dove he was taking under the cloak of his blackened wing.

Regardless, he would protect her.

In this, he would not fail.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey felt the color rise in her cheeks.

His mouth fell open. Those brilliant brown eyes tinted with a hint of green were staring, beholding her head to toe.

With every step, Luke was walking her closer to the cliff. Closer to her…she struggled to think of the right word, partner seemed to fit.

She met his eyes and then quickly darted them to the calm sea beyond. The expression was clear on his face. He approved, of the dress, the hair, everything. Of her, and the whole complex situation.

It wasn’t the nicest dress in the galaxy. Clearly handwoven and homespun, although created with great care.

In fact, she wasn’t quite sure where Chewbacca had purchased it. Only that he’d bartered for it with a box of junk from the next to nearest inhabited planet.

But it was breezy and light. Perfect for a day along the seashore. Best of all, it was the right color. In books and legends, brides were always married in flowing, long dresses of white.

Rey, although far removed from the galaxy at large, had once had the honor of possessing a torn and well-weathered picture book. It contained many silly tales and myths. Her favorite, although hardly practical, had been “The Bride of Yavin.” Her child eyes had stared at the faded illustration of the bride and groom in white, every evening before falling asleep after a long day’s haul. 

She had never counted on being a bride. However, she couldn’t shake the memory and the innocent dream. The picture, the precious drawing, had conveyed a depth of rejoicing and belonging she would forever carry in her mind’s eye.

Therefore, it had to be white.

She would never have the opportunity again. Not as a dedicated Jedi.

She would take the name Solo. But it was only a name, a means to an end for a mission for the greater good of the galaxy.

Kylo Ren slowly blinked, almost to wake himself from a dream. His dark lashes fanned his simmering gaze.

Rey, for a moment, found herself drawn and equally distracted by the action. Those eyes. They were always calling her attention. Pleading for her to hold his intense scrutiny. Meeting his gaze felt akin to igniting a spark, one that could see through her, nearly to an unknown reach. Yet, the gaze always sought more.

Although he was undoubtedly powerful in the Force, this was something else entirely.

“Gorgeous,” Ren held out his large hand for her to take. His lips actually formed the slightest of smiles.

Rey woke from her slight daze. She had hardly planned on touching him. Without his gloves, she could see the scars and callouses that decorated his open palm.

Luke halted. He waited to see if the bride truly wanted to be given away. He watched Ren watch Rey. He didn’t need the Force to realize his nephew was completely infatuated. Warlord or not, the boy had very little life experience outside of their travels as Jedi Master and padawan.

Snoke had kept his nose to the grindstone, and his emotions in turmoil.

There had been little time to be enchanted by a pretty face. Or meet a girl who rivaled Leia’s fire.

Luke saw Ren’s eyes widen with delight as Rey accepted his hand. He quickly cupped her small, thin fingers with his own. He held them as one would hold a delicate treasure.

“Your hands are cold,” his nephew’s voice fill with concern for Rey’s comfort. Swiftly, he captured her other hand and blanketed them both between his palms.

No, Luke had hoped it was a mere passing fancy.

Rey might break the boy’s heart.

Only time would tell.

Luke cleared his throat, and folded his arms, as Jedi should. The would-be lovebirds turned their full attention to him.

They could have been Han and Leia. Or the vision he once had of his father and mother.

This was dangerous and implausible. However, in all his years, dangerous and implausible, more often than not, worked out for the better.

“Friends,” Luke began, “We are gathered here today on a united front, for a united purpose.”

Ren took a step closer to Rey, narrowing the space between them. For a mere second, Rey appeared uncomfortable. She was not accustomed to having a man hold her hands for an extended period. Especially a dark and brooding soul like Ren. But through the awkwardness, she tried to smile, encouraging Luke to continue.

“Rey and Ben have both consented to join in matrimony in abidance to the laws of the Republic. Orders fall and rise, but this agreement is forever lasting.” Luke’s eyes fell on Rey, “If either party wishes to refrain, speak now.”

Rey looked at her Master and quickly shook her head no. She was decided, although clearly uncomfortable and unnerved.

“Continue,” Ren said firmly.

Luke obliged him. “Does anyone in attendance wish to list a reason as to why these consented beings should not be wed?”

Chewbacca, the one and only witness, save for R2, muttered his low Wookie protest.

Ren squeezed Rey’s hands tightly as he threw his poison gaze at the Wookie.

“It will, too, work!” Ren scowled, nearly modeling the perfect embodiment of Han Solo’s confident disgust.

Chewie shot back his biased opinion on the whole matter.

“Chewie!” Rey sought to calm him, “I want this…I mean…” She tried to express herself clearly, squeezing Ren’s hand in return, “It’s the safest way. It’s only an act. You know it will protect us!”

“I’ll do everything in my power,” Ren promised softly, calling for Rey to look at him.

However, Chewbacca mumbled small utterances about Ben being his father’s son.

With a solemn face, Ren tilted his head, “From now on, I’m trying to be.”

At that, Rey found both the courage and curiosity to stare at him. Although visibly miserable, his eyes shined for her. His skin appeared pale and smooth, thoroughly handsome. She noticed his hair, which was always groomed and well-kept, seemed slightly wavier today. Secretly, she had always wondered if his locks were soft to the touch. It was one of many forbidden thoughts she’d had considering his person. She’d been inside his mind.

Luke, as usual, settled the fight. He continued. “If all are in agreement? Yes? Then, repeat after me,” he looked to his nephew, “I, Ben Solo, vow with my life to honor, trust, and protect this woman, by the will of the Force, until my dying day.”

“I, Ben Solo, vow,” lost in Rey’s gaze, he was filled with an overwhelming sense of admiration and endearment. He wanted to prove his worth to her. To really be worthy of her kindness and compassion. Needing an action, a way to express himself, he dropped to one knee. He kept her hands tightly in his, as he repeated, “Vow with my life to honor, trust, and protect this woman,” he added strongly, “By the will of the Force, until my dying day.”

“Do you swear on your life?”

He answered immediately, “I do.”

A genuine smile escaped Rey’s lips. She was beginning to feel more connected to him than ever.

Luke led the ceremony on, saying, “Rey, do you, in addition to your vows as Jedi apprentice, vow to with your life to honor, trust, and protect this man, Ben Solo, by the will of the Force, until your dying day?”

Rey nodded, “I do.”

“Do you swear on your life?”

“I swear on my life,” she blushed, wishing Ben would rise from his knee. It looked uncomfortable. But he stayed, clearly duty-bound.

“Then by the will of the Force, and the power granted me by the Republic, as Jedi Master, I pronounce you, Rey and Ben Solo.”

Luke omitted the part about kissing the bride. He clapped his hands. R2 whistled in the background. Chewie managed to guffaw a mild fanfare in his Wookie tone.

However, for a mere moment, Ben waited. Wishing.

Even on his knee, he could reach forward and capture her lips with his own.

Holding her hands, the idea came to him quickly; her hands were nearly as good. He chose one and brushed his silken lips against her angel skin.

She swayed ever so slightly at the ecstatic touch.

No one had kissed her hand before.

Luke held back a sigh. He considered telling Ben that was quite enough. Any further and he wouldn’t have to confess his feelings for Rey, she’d plainly know.

But he didn’t want to embarrass the boy.

It was his wedding day, after all, no matter how odd.

“Well, that’s it then,” Luke slammed a pat on Ben’s shoulder hard enough to wake him from his reverie of Rey’s skin. “The official document is already on the data pad. I doubt they’ll take a second look at the seal. They don’t have access to the Republic’s officiant bank. So you’re safe there.”

Ben finally returned to his full height. He cautiously raised his hand for Luke to shake. Part of him still feared rejection. “Thank you, Sky-,” he thought better of it, “Uncle.”

Luke slammed him on the back again, shook his hand, and pulled him into a side man-hug, “Think nothing of it, Ben. The Force will be with you! If you get into trouble, well, now, you know where to find me.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got the idea from reading 'Aftermath: Empire's End' =D

[First Order Battlecrusier]

General Armitage Hux stood on the ship’s bridge.

“Time,” he demanded from one of his technicians.

“Fifteen hundred hours, sir,” came the efficient reply.

He furrowed his orange-tinted brow. He would not be late, no matter how disagreeable the meeting.

With military grace, he turned his heels and headed for the long corridor. After a short walk, he found the door to the lounge open. His unfortunate visitors were waiting, seated closely together on a uniform couch.

He entered, quickly sealing the door behind him. Minor officers liked to gossip. He would not feed their fire.

The girl, a pretty, young thing met his eyes immediately. The smile on her face radiated as she stood. She looked, well, quite joyful. It might have been her birthday. She moved towards him.

Hux wanted none of it.

He saw very little of himself. He, who, had taken his looks after his pitiful mother. Or of Brendol Hux, a tyrant not worth remembering.

“I’m Rey,” she held out her hand enthusiastically. There were tears in the corners of her eyes. “Brother!”

Hux nodded sourly at her hand, acknowledging the gesture without touching her. “I am General Armitage Hux. Although we’ve never met, I’m sure you’ve heard of me. Either way, I’d prefer you use my formal title.”

“Course,” Rey quickly agreed, and lowered her hand in embarrassment.

“It’s been a very interesting day,” his eyes darted from Rey to the dark figure still seated on the couch, “In one breath, I learn I have a sister, and how convenient for me, she’s recently wed Kylo Ren. I find it all very odd…”

“Odd?” Helmetless Ren lifted from the couch and made his way to Rey’s side.

“Yes, Ren, odd.” He turned back to Rey. “You claim to be my sister, and yet, where have you been all these years?”

“Jakku,” she answered honestly.

Bad memories flickered through Hux’s mind. Jakku and Rae Sloane had given Hux authority. A true purpose. However, it also reminded him of Brendol, and old failures.

He said nothing more on the matter. It was beneath his notice to wonder why she had been on Jakku.

Yet, Hux studied her closely, “You certainly don’t favor me. Or him, thankfully. I take it you resemble your mother. No doubt some other beauty he spent his time with.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Rey dried her eyes, allowing Ren to put his arm around her in support.

Hux lifted the corners of his lips at Ren, “Which brings me to my next question. I sensed you had took leave of your senses, Ren, when you captured,” he forced himself to say it, “My sister. However, how in the galaxy do you expect me to believe, the two of you…a couple?”

Ren grimaced, and gave a dark laugh, clearly insulted. He wrapped both arms around Rey, pulling her close, staring fervently at her lips. “Is it so hard to believe I love your sister?” Ren smiled at Rey. Leaning in he slowly kissed her.

Hux rolled his eyes in disgust, “I hardly needed a display.”

The girl blushed a fiery red. At least she had enough respect to be ashamed.

“You must admit it’s all very hard to believe,” Hux repeated himself.

“I-I have the DNA result,” Rey stammered, still trembling from Ren’s kiss.

“Yes,” Hux pursed his lip, “I know.” He folded his arms, thinking. “Well, it’s clear there’s only one thing to do.”

“What’s that?” Ren sounded protective. 

“We have to take her to Leader Snoke.”


	6. Chapter 6

Snoke was not amused.

The girl was strong in the Force. However, he had known stronger women in his time. Women more capable of darkness. She was a girl, no more, no less. Nerves became her. If she squeezed Kylo Ren’s hand anymore tightly, it would turn blue.

No. As she lacked any information vital to the Resistance, Snoke had little use for her now. He wasn’t in the business of training haggard vagrants. Although Brendol had been the loyalist of subjects, and Armitage was now indispensable, it did not change the fact that the girl was an abandoned lovechild with ties to the enemy. She was feral, but naïve. Not the material of the female Sith of old.

There was something more. An odd sort of mysterious the Supreme Leader could not put his finger on. But he would keep his eyes and senses open. She would make a mistake and reveal her secrets in good time. He would be patient.

The fact that Kylo Ren had wed her came as no surprise. The Supreme Leader had sensed his apprentice’s compassion for the scavenger. An annoyance, but one, thankfully, that had worked out in Snoke’s favor. He had foreseen Kylo Ren’s greatest temptation. Seduced, he might have returned to the light. However, Ren, his greatest pupil, had instead brought the girl to his side.

She would amuse him for a time, once he removed teaching from his system. The boy was human. There were still voids, weaknesses, such as loneliness, that he wanted to fill. When his training was complete, Snoke knew he would be able to suppress all human needs. He would be a weapon worthy of the dark side.

Else, he would die.

“I very much…” the girl was still speaking. Rambling, really. Pandering on about meaningless things. Snoke would let her grovel a while longer.

“I very much want to do my part to help the First Order. Of course, I’ve begun my training with Ren. However, as a Hux, with a strong military legacy, I thought I might join the academy as well and become an officer,” Rey finally took a breath.

Kylo Ren freed his overtaxed hand and instead placed his dark arm around his wife, “Strong in the Force with a mind for military tactics.” He flattered her, but looked to the Supreme Leader for approval. Snoke kept his eyes on Ren, expressionless. Seeking confirmation, Ren added, “She will aid us in bringing down the Resistance.”

“Course,” Armitage interrupted. “However, the rules have changed. There is a waitlist for the new academy. She’ll have to start at the bottom, like the stormtroopers.”

The awkwardness loomed in the air. Everyone knew, but not one of them said, the name of the bottom: the First Order sanitation crew. Snoke, idly swept his palm over his forehead. Armitage smirked, thinking he had won in his new game of, literal, sibling rivalry. Rey frowned, not sure what to do or say.

Kylo Ren wouldn’t stand for it. He would outsmart Armitage at his own game.

“The gossip will be dire,” he turned to Rey, shaking his head, while staring into her eyes, “But I know you are dedicated. When the troops find out where you work, their taunts will hurt us more than they’ll hurt you.”

“Taunts?” Armitage’s face dropped, considering the possibilities. He demanded respect above all else.

“There are no exceptions for a waitlist,” Ren ignored Armitage and consoled Rey. “Starting at the bottom will be all the more triumph when you rise to the top.”

Unable to stand the thought of Rey outshining him, Armitage muttered, “Well, people do buy their way into the academy. Course, it’s your money.”

That settled it.

“Enough,” Snoke reclined in his chair, tired of their newest squabble. “General, you have your orders. See that you follow them.” 

Armitage bowed and knew it was his cue to leave the room.

Snoke waited a moment, giving the General time to vanish from his sight. His eyes flickered to Ren, and away, disgusted at his proximity to his new wife. “Ren you will return for your training as usual.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Ren dropped his head obediently.

“Girl,” Snoke had already forgotten her name, “See that you don’t interfere with your husband’s schedule. If you care so for the First Order, know that he is our most valuable asset. Every moment you spend with him gives the enemy opportunity.”

Rey shook, fearing her thoughts would betray her.

Ren took her hand again, squeezing her back to confidence, “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Rey followed his lead, “Yes, Supreme Leader.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4.3.17 Edited for typos ;) missed some

“Oh,” Rey breathed a weary sigh of relief.

Ren shut the button on their door, sliding it closed. He did not, however, remove his right arm from Rey’s waist. She was tired. It had been a long, complicated day.  
He had supported her, allowing her to lean on him, down the many halls and turns. After being intimidated by the Supreme Leader, she had remained close all the way back to the chambers reserved for officers.

They stood now, in their own private First Order foyer.

He had thought, daydreamed almost, of kissing her again in the elevator. Alone and feeling her next to him, he wondered if the beating of his heart would betray him. Would she look to him, and ask if his heart always raced? Then would she laugh, in her sweet way, and tell him to go see the medic? He had calmed himself and allowed the Force to smooth the desire.

However, looking at their reflection in the polished metal of the elevator control box, he’d felt stunned. They were a beautiful couple. Next to him, she added grace to his macho. They were opposite, and yet complementary beings. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. He paused a little too long when they finally reached the correct floor.

Armitage didn’t know what he was talking about.

He knew he shouldn’t have kissed her in front of Armitage. However, the moment had called for the embrace. He’d been entranced. Besides, he had to act the part. Or act like he was acting the part, which wasn’t acting at all. 

She had deserved a better first kiss than that. If given the opportunity, he would have kissed every corner of her lips, slower, longer, and perhaps even gone deeper when she was ready. The thought of exploring his love’s mouth, helping them both escape the madness, overtook him. He blinked and called on the Force again.

Alone, in their new living quarters, Rey beheld her new home. She cleared her throat and gently slid his arm away from her waist. Although she was genuinely kind about it, believing he had forgotten their closeness, or merely thought her head remained light, Ren burned. She could dismiss him so easily. He still wasn’t worthy in her eyes.

“It’s quaint,” she stepped further into the common’s area, looking the room over. Compared to her home on Jakku, the space appeared very ordered and empty. There was couch, one that matched the Imperial style found in the lounge where they had greeted Armitage, as well as, a table with a built in data pad and holo projector. From there, the common’s area joined the kitchen, all of it static polished steel, from the cool storage, to the dry storage, to the heating range.

Beyond the common area, a small hall branched into three doors. Before she could explore, Ren spoke.

“You’re being kind, it’s not quaint. It’s First Order. It all looks the same,” he stepped around her, quickly implying he would led the way. “The only difference is, we don’t have to live in the barracks. Now I’ve given up my bachelor ways, they’ve moved me into the expanded chambers for officers with families.” 

He opened the door to right, “We don’t need a nursery, so I’ve claimed this space as my expanse to commune with the Force.” He paused, flipping on the light. “If you come in here, and you are always welcome, don’t let Vader’s helmet frighten you. It’s just his helmet. Not a skull. Real ashes. Not his.” He flipped the light off again, closed the door, and opened the next one in the center. When Ren flipped on the light, Rey saw the room was completely empty. She looked to him for an answer.

“I thought this space could be yours. To train, meditate, start a collection…”

“Thank you,” she felt a little guilty. The room was much larger than the nursery.

“There’s no need to feel guilty,” he searched her feelings, “When we leave this place, I’ll build you a house.”

Her mouth feel open, before she could speak, he threw open the last door and turned on the switch.

“This is your bedroom,” he stepped inside and intended for her to follow. “I ordered some things from the data pad. If they’re not to your liking, you can order something else.”

Rey followed. Her mouth fell further.

In the center of the room, a large bed, the largest bed she had ever seen, stood raised in shocking glory. Decorative pillows and cushions of all sizes and various harmonious shades of green were arranged against the massive headboard. The stunning plush comforter billowed over the side with its magnificent gold medallion pattern. It was the sort place a queen slept, beyond anything Rey had ever known.

“It has to be large,” he cleared his throat, “They come in to clean. And,” he didn’t know what to say. “And, we’re married. They’ll think it’s,” he regretted starting the sentence and practically choked on the words, “our bed.” His face heated at the very thought.

Rey started to burn.

Ren dared to glance at Rey. Somehow her blush delighted him.

“It seems so,” she struggled for the right word, “un-First Order.”

“Yes,” he quickly agreed, “I wanted you to be comfortable. Custom ordered. Oh, and the ocean,” he indicated a vivid painting of a calm sea, almost reminiscent of Ahch-To.

He had read her mind.

She doubted she would have any trouble sleeping in a room so cushioned. If so, she most certainly would stare at the painting, and be lost in the details. Thinking of the ocean, she’d be swimming in this large bed all alone. Then it dawned on her, this was the only bed in their living quarters.

There was no easy way to ask, “Where will you sleep?”

He shifted, uneasy, “It’s too risky to have another bed. We’re newlyweds. They’ll notice.” He folded his arms. “I’ll take the couch, or the floor in my expanse. I can sleep anywhere. After one of Snoke’s lessons I’m usually completely drained.”

Rey wanted to say something, but he cut her off, “Don’t feel guilt. You’re still my guest here. I swore on my life to care for you.”

“We could share…swap every other night.”

He laughed, genuinely charmed by her offer. “We’ll see. I do have one request.”

“Yes,” she wondered, dubious.

“Separate lavatories. I’ve claimed the one off the common’s area, if you don’t mind. I’d rather keep it private.”

“Course,” she nodded.

“And, don’t be alarmed if I don’t come out for a while.”

“I wouldn’t,” she shrugged. Considering the conversation over, she moved closer to the painting, taking in all the minor details.

“You’re pleased with your gifts?” He followed her across the room, and stood behind her. His fingers twitched. He wanted to place his arm on her shoulder, but perhaps he had touched her too much today. It was difficult to love and crave the feel of someone, while making allowances for personal space.

She kept her eyes on the painting. “Yes, thank you. It’s nicer than anything I would have picked for myself.”

“There’s one more,” he took the small box from the pocket of his inner tunic. Opening it with great care, he removed the shining gem and held it, along with the dainty chain, between his gloved fingers. His heart started to hammer, “For us, rings are impractical. Snoke would never allow me such sentiment. However, I thought it strange,” he watched the facets dance in the fluorescent light, “that you don’t have a token of my affection. A man a should spoil his wife a little.”

Rey glanced back at him, and then completely turned. Her eyes fixed on the gem, as blue as the Skywalker lightsaber.

“I,” she couldn’t get the words out fast enough. She had to refuse.

Ren unlatched the clasp, “Credits mean nothing to me.”

“That’s not the point,” she said breathlessly.

“Jedi are allowed jewelry.” He held it over her collarbone, gaging how low it would hang on her figure.

“Yes, I know. However, from you,” she tried to finish.

“You’re insulting me. Have compassion,” his voice became clipped, verging on bitter. “Let it serve as a reminder to the many bawdy would-be officers at your academy, you belong to Kylo Ren.” He thrust the necklace chain over her collar and quickly latched it.

He tore away from her with a violent step back. Frowning, his simmering gaze moved from the gem to stare into the depths of her eyes. Although he searched, he did not find what he needed from her confused expression. Unable to mask his emotions, he stormed from the room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4.7.17 - Probably won't update next week, I'll be at Star Wars Celebration! :D

Rey thumbed the gem around her neck. She lifted it, leisurely, feeling it against her fingers, twisting and untwisting the beautiful chain.

Last night, Ben left the room full of fury she could not place. Realizing too late she had grieved him, she made to follow. She felt it, his sudden overflow of emotion. Not quite anger. Something more akin to disappointment. Distressing him had never been her intention. She wasn’t used to such luxuries. Partnership, gifts, the First Order, everything was new and she was failing miserably. 

Before she could stop him, by the time she reached the commons area, he was gone. He had slid their door open, leaving home. 

At first, she thought to go after him. She hardly knew where he was going or how to apologize.

However, a wall of hesitation met her, a small glimmer from the Force. He wanted to be alone. There was something he needed to sort out. Reluctantly, it was best to grant his request. He asked so little of her.

Therefore, she waited for quite some time for his return, feeling miserable.

Finally, she lowered herself onto the bed. Drowning in pillows, her overwrought mind drifted to sleep almost instantly.

Today, there was still no sign of him.

Instead, she found a note drawn out on the data pad in neat Galactic Basic.

“Dearest,

You have been accepted into the academy. I regret I cannot wait to greet you with the news. My service is needed away from the Battlecruiser this week. However, you are to report for your first remote class tomorrow. I’ve marked the hall on the next screen. You’re free to order whatever you wish in preparation. Standard dress uniforms are expected to arrive for you this evening. Until I see you again, be careful and keep your senses open. You won’t be far from my thoughts. If you need me, you have but to reach for me.

Your husband,"

Underneath the words “your husband” his moniker, Kylo Ren, was scrawled ornately with furious loops, as quick and passionate as his gaze.

Thinking about it chilled her a little.

She touched her finger to the data pad tracing his signature. She wondered to herself how she would sign his name if given the opportunity. Certainly her hand would slip and blend the letters together in a muddled mess. She would have to practice, slowly exact each turn to make the name precise.

The chime signaling a visitor rang.

Not expecting anyone, Rey quickly straightened her clothes and rushed to the door.

As it slid open, her brother blankly stared her in the face. He didn’t frown, but something about his eyebrows looked displeased.

“Hello?” She wondered. Upon their first meeting she rather got the impression that he wasn’t the friendly type. The sort who accepted facts, like their shared heritage, but did little with the information. His visit surprised her. Although she quickly assumed by his expression it wasn’t a neighborly call.

“Yes,” he agreed and welcomed himself inside the foyer without being invited. He pressed the button and slid the door closed, fully making himself at home.

Rey noticed for the first time, he carried a package under his right arm.

“This,” he held the bundle up, shoving it away, “Arrived at my quarters. Apparently there was some confusion with the delivery. It was simply addressed to Hux. Of course, they thought of me.”

Rey took the package from his hand. The seal was already broken, leaving the end open and ragged. She slipped her hand inside and revealed the starch material of her cadet dress uniform.

“Oh,” she folded the sleeve back into the package, “Sorry. Ren ordered these. I didn’t expect them until this evening.”

“The name Hux has priority,” he mused. Clearly pleased he could show off yet again. However, the thrill only lasted a moment before he remembered something sour. “Ren threw quite the tantrum last night. The academy director was hardly pleased at your lack of previous education. How fortunate for you, your husband has his methods.”

Rey failed to mask her emotions. Ben had used his fury to help her?

As she internally marveled at the turn of events, her brother helped himself to a tour of the commons area. He rarely visited anyone, much less the quarters reserved for First Order families. He envied the space.

Suddenly, his voice filled with amusement, “Trouble in paradise, sis?”

Rey broke from her reverie of Ren’s steadfast dedication to their mission. Her brother was smiling, proud of a new discovery. On his face the expression looked slightly wicked.

Rey hardly knew what he meant. It took a split second before she saw and remembered the pillow and blanket on the couch. He knew. Ren had not slept in her bed. Now Armitage knew. He could use the information against them. He might start to suspect the truth. She had to protect their cover.

Quickly, she fought for a reason for the separation.

The easiest solution would be to admit they’d quarreled. Perhaps she could convincingly lie and claim Ren’s tantrums displeased her. Yet, in her heart, Rey felt too much pride. Armitage was already full of mirth at the mere thought of trouble in her marriage. She didn’t think it wise to encourage his spite. Her and Ren were fine, mostly.

Deciding on a new plan, Rey swiftly moved her hand to her stomach. She winced a little to make it real.

“My stomach was upset this morning. I didn’t want to bother Ren before he left.”

Armitage furrowed his brow. A moment of terror flashed in his eyes as he mistook the placement of Rey’s hand for a different sort of announcement. The look gave way to disgust before returning to his indifferent mask.

“I see,” he clicked his teeth. “Well, I won’t disturb you further. I’ll take my leave.”

“You’re not disturbing me,” Rey attempted to be nice. If she could gain his friendship, or even a detached sense of trust, the mission would propel forward at an alarming rate.

His shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, as though her statement took him off guard. However, in a fraction of a second, his defenses returned in full force.

“Duty calls,” he shook his head, lips lifting at his own importance. He made his way for the door.

“You’re welcome to drop by again,” she encouraged, although the sentiment felt unnatural. For good measure, she added, “Perhaps you could tell me about your exploits as general.”

He pressed the door open, but tilted his head back to her. “Yes, well, perhaps someday.” His tone dissolved into the slightest of self-important laughs, “Right now, the First Order never sleeps.”

He left.

Rey looked at her uniform again. Time to try it on.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4.7.17 - Probably won't update next week :/ But I'll still be working on this for Camp NaNoWriMo. I'll be at Star Wars Celebration ;D

Rey thumbed the gem around her neck. She lifted it, leisurely, feeling it against her fingers, twisting and untwisting the beautiful chain.

Last night, Ben had left the room full of fury she could not place. Realizing too late she had grieved him, she made to follow. She felt it, his sudden overflow of emotion. Not quite anger. Something more akin to disappointment. Distressing him had never been her intention. She wasn’t used to such luxuries. Partnership, gifts, the First Order, everything was new and she was failing miserably. 

Before she could stop him, by the time she reached the commons area, he was gone. He had slid their door open, leaving home. 

At first, she thought to go after him. She hardly knew where he was going or how to apologize.

However, a wall of hesitation met her, a small glimmer from the Force. He wanted to be alone. There was something he needed to sort out. Reluctantly, it was best to grant his request. He asked so little of her.

Therefore, she waited for quite some time for his return, feeling miserable.

Finally, she lowered herself onto the bed. Drowning in pillows, her overwrought mind drifted to sleep almost instantly.

Today, there was still no sign of him.

Instead, she found a note drawn out on the data pad in neat Galactic Basic.

“Dearest,

You have been accepted into the academy. I regret I cannot wait to greet you with the news. My service is needed away from the Battlecruiser this week. However, you are to report for your first remote class tomorrow. I’ve marked the hall on the next screen. You’re free to order whatever you wish in preparation. Standard dress uniforms are expected to arrive for you this evening. Until I see you again, be careful and keep your senses open. You won’t be far from my thoughts. If you need me, you have but to reach for me.

Your husband,

Underneath the words “your husband” his moniker, Kylo Ren, was scrawled ornately with furious loops, as quick and passionate as his gaze.

Thinking about it chilled her a little.

She touched her finger to the data pad tracing his signature. She wondered to herself how she would sign his name if given the opportunity. Certainly her hand would slip and blend the letters together in a muddled mess. She would have to practice, slowly exact each turn to make the name precise.

The chime signaling a visitor rang.

Not expecting anyone, Rey quickly straightened her clothes and rushed to the door.

As it slid open, her brother blankly stared her in the face. He didn’t frown, but something about his eyebrows looked displeased.

“Hello?” She wondered. Upon their first meeting she rather got the impression that he wasn’t the friendly type. The sort who accepted facts, like their shared heritage, but did little with the information. His visit surprised her. Although she quickly assumed by his expression it wasn’t a neighborly call.

“Yes,” he agreed and welcomed himself inside the foyer without being invited. He pressed the button and slid the door closed, fully making himself at home.

Rey noticed for the first time, he carried a package under his right arm.

“This,” he held the bundle up, shoving it away, “Arrived at my quarters. Apparently there was some confusion with the delivery. It was simply addressed to Hux, of course, they thought of me.”

Rey took the package from his hand. The seal was already broken, leaving the end open and ragged. She slipped her hand inside and revealed the starch material of her cadet dress uniform.

“Oh,” she folded the sleeve back into the package, “Sorry. Ren ordered these. I didn’t expect them until this evening.”

“The name Hux has priority,” he mused. Clearly pleased he could show off yet again. However, the thrill only lasted a moment before he remembered something sour. “Ren threw quite the tantrum last night. The academy director was hardly pleased at your lack of previous education. How fortunate for you, your husband has his methods.”

Rey failed to mask her emotions. Ben had used his fury to help her?

As she internally marveled at the turn of events, her brother helped himself to a tour of the commons area. He rarely visited anyone, much less the quarters reserved for First Order families. He envied the space.

Suddenly, his voice filled with amusement, “Trouble in paradise, sis?”

Rey broke from her reverie of Ren’s steadfast dedication to their mission. Her brother was smiling, proud of a new discovery. On his face the expression looked slightly wicked.

Rey hardly knew what he meant. It took a split second before she saw and remembered the pillow and blanket on the couch. He knew. Ren had not slept in her bed. Now Armitage knew. He could use the information against them. He might start to suspect the truth. She had to protect their cover.

Quickly, she fought for a reason for the separation.

The easiest solution would be to admit they’d quarreled. Perhaps she could convincingly lie and claim Ren’s tantrums displeased her. Yet, in her heart, Rey felt too much pride. Armitage was already full of mirth at the mere thought of trouble in her marriage. She didn’t think it wise to encourage his spite. Her and Ren were fine, mostly.

Deciding on a new plan, Rey swiftly moved her hand to her stomach. She winced a little to make it real.

“My stomach was upset this morning. I didn’t want to bother Ren before he left.”

Armitage furrowed his brow. A moment of terror flashed in his eyes as he mistook the placement of Rey’s hand for a different sort of announcement. The look gave way to disgust before returning to his indifferent mask.

“I see,” he clicked his teeth. “Well, I won’t disturb you further. I’ll take my leave.”

“You’re not disturbing me,” Rey attempted to be nice. If she could gain his friendship, or even a detached sense of trust, the mission would propel forward at an alarming rate.

His shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, as though her statement took him off guard. However, in a fraction of a second, his defenses returned in full force.

“Duty calls,” he shook his head, lips lifting at his own importance. He made his way for the door.

“You’re welcome to drop by again,” she encouraged, although the sentiment felt unnatural. For good measure, she added, “Perhaps you could tell me about your exploits as general.”

He pressed the door open, but tilted his head back to her. “Yes, well, perhaps someday.” His tone dissolved into the slightest of self-important laughs, “Right now, the First Order never sleeps.”

He left.


	10. Chapter 10

In the cold classroom, the instructor called her name in a monotone sigh, “Rey Hux.” 

Rey shifted at her table. She had taken the only empty seat in the front. The name, the way he put it, sounded so foreign when spoken aloud.

“Solo Ren,” she firmly corrected him.

Around the room, among the other students, there were gasps, snickers, and whispers. Maybe even a muffled laugh or two.

The instructor straightened and squinted his already beady eyes. Looking up from his data pad for the first time, he said, “I’m afraid we’re forbidden from saying his given name. You’ll have to go by Hux or Ren or Hux-Ren.”

“Ren,” she muttered, annoyed by her own mistake.

“Ren,” the instructor repeated aloud, marking the correction by her name. He returned to the next name on the roll call. 

Behind Rey, the other cadets quickly answered their surnames. She didn’t turn to look at them. Upon entering the classroom, she met the sea of faces, all of them eager to start the evening. The guys slightly outnumbered the other girls. They were young, some her age, some a little younger. Listening to their voices, she kept her back straight, staring forward, prepared for whatever lesson the First Order would throw at her. She could do this. She’d already come this far in a short time.

“Alright,” the instructor finally finished. “You know the drill,” energy left his voice, “This week for your hands-on lesson you’ll be dismantling and reassembling a blaster. A valuable skill in the field.” His tone left room for doubt before continuing, “Can’t always count on your division to do it for you. Complaints will fall on deaf ears. Afterwards the holos for Imperial History will play. That’s all. Pair up.”

Immediately, Rey’s tablemates slid from their chairs and headed for the back of the room, seeking their friends. For an instant, she watched the instructor head for a supply closet, gathering their test blasters from a bin. She turned her head, never imagining she’d have to immediately mingle with the other cadets. She hardly knew what to say to them. Would they be as aloof as her brother?

She searched the unfamiliar faces, seeking a cadet who looked approachable. Quickly, the search became for a table that wasn’t paired up. It appeared everyone knew each other. Friendships had formed long ago. Perhaps even rivalries. She suddenly wished she had asked Ben more about the other students. Who were they? Where did they come from?

Allowing the Force to calm her, Rey knew she would be fine working alone. She was used to being alone. It would take some time, but she would find friends. Finn, after all, had come from the First Order. These students, they were only misguided. The important thing involved making a good mark on the test, and keeping up the appearance she cared about the Supreme Leader’s rule.

Just then, a body slid into the chair next to her. A fair-skinned boy with bright blond hair, a few years her junior, lifted his lips and offered his hand to shake. 

“We were drawing straws on who should approach you first. Lucky me. You don’t throw Force tantrums do you?” His accent sounded impeccable.

“Excuse me?” Rey could hardly believe his forward question.

“Are you like Brendol then?”

“Brendol?” Rey tried to sound confident, remembering, “He’s, was…my father. General Hux is my brother.” She didn’t know enough about either one to comfortably offer more information.

“I don’t see the resemblance,” the boy grinned, “All the more pleasant for me.”

Rey stared at him, failing to follow his point.

He extended his hand further, “McRory Pellaeon, at your service. And, yes, relation to legendary Admiral Pellaeon. Grandfather’s cousin removed or some such mess.”

Rey took his hand and shook firmly. One friend was better than none, she hoped.

The instructor plopped the test blaster in front of Rey and McRory Pellaeon. Turning, he returned to his desk with a puff of air and buried his head behind the data pad. “Begin” he sighed, starting a timer for each pair.

McRory pulled the blaster closer, examining the weapon. “I fired one of these for my birthday one year,” he mused, trying to impress her.

Rey almost added, “I dodged blasts from them one year,” but quickly caught herself. In reality, she said, “That’s nice.” Lying.

“Probably not as fun as lightsabers and the sort,” he held the blaster up, looking down the barrel like an idiot. “Is it true? You cut your husband’s face up?”

“Let me see that,” Rey opened her hands to accept the blaster. She quickly realized McRory Pellaeon didn’t know the first thing about weapons. Maybe he had watched someone fire a blaster for his birthday. “Kylo Ren and I,” she took the weapon, working to undo it, as she struggled to explain. Her and Ben should have practiced these answers. “Have our disagreements,” she put it lightly, recalling all the turmoil that was Starkiller Base. “But I care about him.” The idea hit her, that statement true. It came easy from her lips.

“Is it love?” McRory teased. “Sounds dangerous.”

Rey frowned. She pulled on the blaster more forcibly, breaking it down into parts quickly.

“Aggressive,” McRory leaned in with fascination. His eyes widened, “Have you done this assignment before? Did you transfer from the main campus?”

Rey shook her head, knowing an Imperial legacy like him would never understand. Breaking down a blaster was little different than lifting valuable scrap. In fact, this was easier. She had a flat surface, bright lightening, and cold, forced air. She pulled the pieces rapidly, mostly out of habit, forgetting there were no other scavengers to race against.

McRory Pellaeon raised and enthusiastically waved his hand, “We’ve finished the dismantle!”

The instructor peered from the desk, his face disbelieving. However, seeing the pieces, instantly his brows rose in astonishment. He blinked and returned to his dull expression. “Begin reassembling,” he sounded doubtful, marking notes next to their names.

Rey instantly darted for the right pieces. She remembered the order, could see the final product like a map in her mind.

“You’re good at this,” McRory watched. “If I’m ever lost in the field, I’ll send my distress call to you.”

Rey trusted her and Ben would learn Snoke’s secrets before they progressed to actual field assignments.

Quickly, she had the blaster in one piece. She returned the weapon to the table.

“Finished!” McRory waved again, beaming.

The instructor, still not believing, lifted from his seat. Striding over, he picked up the blaster, hoping something remained unfinished. This assignment usually bought him an hour of free time. Disappointed, he carried the weapon back to the supply closet, muttering sadly, “Keep quiet until the others are finished.”

“Will you be my partner from now on?” McRory Pellaeon whispered with hope.

“Why not?” Rey shrugged.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologizes for the slow updates! Back from SWCO, but very stressed with house-hunting/moving stuff. Never fear, finishing this is on my bucket list!!

The week passed slowly.

Although tiring, Rey found a rhythm to her schedule. She aced her lessons, hardly believing how little life experience the other cadets possessed. They were little more than sheltered, spoiled children. Leading the class in everything, they quickly respected her talent. She thought maybe the instructor was impressed, even though he said little and mostly sighed when he ran out of assignments for her.

Yet, at the end of the day, she still felt lonely. She practiced her skills with the Skywalker lightsaber and training remote, reflecting the blasts from the small orb. Afterwards, she ate and watched First Order holos sated with propaganda. But she missed Ben. Somehow she felt better when he was near. She thought to reach out to him, but banished the thought, reminding herself how strict his service and training could be. He didn’t have time for her idle emotions. Besides, that was bordering on attachment.

Instead, she reread his letter. Traced and retraced the letters of his name, in case she ever needed it.

At the week’s end, she returned from the long day and strolled to her bedroom. Flipping the light on, she stepped back, her eyes taking a moment to register the large dark figure lying on his back at the foot of the bed. On top of the covers, Ben’s head was positioned on one end, his helmet tucked under his shoulder, his black boots dangled over the edge.

She moved closer and he didn’t stir. He breathed softly, looking more peaceful than she had ever seen him. His waves of dark hair were spread over the comforter like an animal’s mane. The locks looked so soft. The impulse hit her suddenly. Before she questioned herself, she dared.

She brushed her fingertips over a curled end. Her heart fluttered a bit.

His locks were smoother than she ever imagined.

Without warning she had the strong urge to run her entire hand through his hair. Instead, she denied the whim. She released the princely strains.

What had come over her?

In the same moment, Ben’s mouth broke into a genuine grin. He didn’t open his eyes, but captured her bold hand gently.

“Rey,” he breathed with pleasure, smiling with his eyes closed.

The touch sent a chill down her spine. Embarrassment filled her. She apologized, “I’m disturbing you. Keep resting.”

But he wouldn’t let her pull away. Instead he drew her hand over his heart. She could feel the hammering beat against his chest as he said, “I’m never too tired for you. Don’t ever think otherwise. You can always come to me.” His voice grew slightly sad, “I thought you might contact me.”

“I didn’t want to disturb you,” she flushed, struggling to add, “After what the Supreme Leader said.”

“Don’t let him frighten you,” Ben dismissed his former sovereign. “He’s not connected…as we are…”

Rey’s mouth parted. The connection wasn’t something they spoke of, although, Ben had acknowledged the strange link from the beginning. He felt it, too. Whatever it was, she feared to understand. She had been too confused to ask Luke. Right now, like this, she didn’t have the words to ask Ben. He was taking her breath away.

Without warning, he pulled himself up and stared at her. Rey had to look away, beyond him, to the painting of the ocean for focus.

“I only intended to rest for a moment. I shouldn’t have used your room.” He released her hand slowly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “I have to forward a report back to Snoke,” he frowned, turning serious. He stood to his full height and suddenly froze.

His strange halt drew Rey’s attention. He rarely seized so abruptly. She searched his face, watching as he filled with wonder.

“You’re wearing it,” his glance darted from the gem around her neck to her eyes.

“Oh,” she lowered her eyes and picked the gem up between her fingers, “Yes. I’m sorry I insulted you. It’s beautiful. It’s just…I’ve never had jewelry. I don’t like gifts. It’s not personal. I’m used to earning my own way.”

He shook his head, “I should have asked before ordering it. I assumed I could spoil you. It’s my fault.”

Rey released the gem, “No, don’t say that, it’s not anyone’s fault. We just…don’t know each other very well.”

Ben laughed ever so slightly and took his helmet, motioning for her to follow him into the commons area.

With his voice still full of mirth, he explained, “I heard a rumor while I was away that would prove otherwise.”

“Go on,” she stepped beside him, noticing how tired he looked, the dark circles under his eyes. They entered the next room. Ben stretched, trying to wake himself despite his exhaustion.

“Your brother is panicking at the announcement of our first child.” He put his arms down and paused to smile at her roguishly, “What exactly did you tell him?”

“What?” Her face changed from confusion to horror. “I said nothing. How? I don’t understand. He only brought a misdelivered parcel.”

“Well, regardless, he’s convinced of our affection,” Ben couldn’t help being glad. He shifted his helmet to the opposite side.

“What are we going do?! We can’t let them think…” Rey clenched her fists, feeling the mission was crumbling all around them. Her face burned red.

Swiftly, Ben moved closer to her, near enough to lean down and kiss her. He took her hand again, smoothing his finger against hers. Fighting and failing against the fear of rejection, he offered, “We could…I mean, I wouldn’t mind, be against…if we had one…maybe…That is, if you ever wanted to be a mother…I could give you…we could have a daughter or a son, or both.”

“What?!” She tore away from him.

Not hesitating he carefully pulled his helmet over his head. The mask muffled, “I meant…if you stay with me, afterwards, we can adopt. There are plenty of Force sensitive orphans in the galaxy. We could raise a dozen children together, train them in the ways of the Force.”

Rey crossed her arms and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. She couldn’t think about the future right now. Obviously, Ben could. She exhaled again, letting the Force surround her. Yes, perhaps, her and Ben could remain housemates in the future. Regardless of Luke’s opinion, it would be a shame for the Jedi to end.

Kylo Ren tilted his head at her. He turned to the front door, an air of sorrow filtering through the mask, “I have to leave.”

“What can we do?” Rey still couldn’t believe the outrageous rumor. They had to put it to rest.

Ren shook his head, “Let Armitage sweat for a little while longer. He could make a careless mistake.” He stepped to the door, hesitating before pressing the button. “Eventually they’ll see it was a false alarm.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revenge of the 5th ;D
> 
> Ok, dunno what happened with Chapter 9, it saved as a draft, maybe it'll make more sense now.

The toil never ended. Maintaining the darkness and light, trying to shift through both sides, quickly exhausted Ben’s senses. He’d only taken a moments rest. Awake since 0200 hours, he had trained, accepted Snoke’s newest painful lesson, glimpsed arduous battle plans, copied them to a disk in hopes they would make their way back to the Resistance, tortured criminals, invoked fear into the primitive beings who inhabited the latest rebelling planet’s surface, and piloted his TIE back to the Battlecrusier. All in hopes of returning and spending a moments free time with Rey. 

Yet, of all the fool, half-witted things to say, he had prattled on about children. The rumor, idle gossip, and insincere congratulations that had found their way to him had given him a strange sense of optimism. Wrongly, so. An excruciating pity he forced himself not to dwell on.

Sulking down the cold, deserted hallway, Ben remained conflicted.

Next time, he’d simply shut up and kiss her. 

In his mind, he knew he was endangering the mission. Perhaps Chewbacca had been right for once in his life. This situation was never going to work. On the surface, their relationship, even Rey’s unintentional flub to the General, appeared the perfect cover. However, in reality, the truth made him weaken a little each time he stood near her. Housing so much power within himself, he was unaccustomed to feeling completely inept.

He couldn’t decide if the weakness was proof of his love for her or mere frustration. For her, he considered, the subjection was worth enduring. But forever, unrequited?

Ben’s mind and heart were at war. 

His heart told him yes. To be near her, to see her happy, would be enough. He could share her life and love her unconditionally. They didn’t have to be husband and wife in the traditional sense if she decided she wanted to follow the outdated Jedi code all her life. That beautiful morning on Ahch-To, he had not taken his vow lightly. By the will of the Force, he would honor and protect her until his dying day. She’d never be rid of him. He would care for her every need.

But his mind knew the same heart in his chest burned with passion.

Even now, tired as he was, if she gave him any clue that she felt half as much sentiment for him, he would turn on his heel and be at her side to offer any embrace, kiss, or touch she craved. If only.

And, yet, she was giving him mixed signals.

She had entered the room and awakened him. He had not been so tired he couldn’t feel her presence nearing. Admittedly, he should not have lain across the bed. Her bed. He truly intended to rest his eyes not more than one-tenth an hour. He thought, perhaps, she would call his name, or, if in one of her delicious violent moods, tug him off the bed with a fierce pull.

But she had not done as he expected. Instead she had stirred every fiber of his being by touching the hypersensitive ends of his hair. For an instant, every thought of the galaxy faded, leaving him sublime. The very memory made his veins flow with burning ice water.

He knew, for her, the impulse was sudden. Nonetheless, it had happened. She betrayed every shred of self-discipline for the sake of curiosity. Furthermore, she wore his necklace, even though he’d assumed she hated the precious trinket. Or detested the thought of drawing attention to their convenient union.

At first, he’d considered the assignment away from the Battlecrusier as a positive. He was too fixed on her and needed the space. Yet, instead of cooling his mind, her absence haunted him daily. He thought to lie and take her with him next time. He contemplated reaching out to her through the Force, but the action seemed desperate, especially after he’d stormed from their private quarters. What would he say? That he missed her? Loved her? A million other ridiculous thoughts and feeling that weren’t ridiculous because of her?

It was utterly pointless.

Ben allowed the chagrin to spread over him, and with it the darkness that seeped slowly. There was too much at stake now. He needed to throw his motivation into finding, learning, and relaying key First Order weaknesses to other Resistance spies. He couldn’t let his failed attempts at courting his wife get in the way. He loved Rey, yes. But he couldn’t be consumed by emotions.

He would not fail in this mission. Together, he and Rey would bring the First Order to its knees. Everything else could wait. Snoke had to answer for Ben’s wasted years, the deaths of millions, including the command to kill his father.

How could he have been so blind? So set on the Supreme Leader’s promise of more power?

Falsehoods.

Finally reaching the ship’s bridge, he wanted to choke the life force from the next person to cross his path. He fought against it, knowing old habits solved very little. His mind remained unfocused, racing. He needed to maintain the darkness without being consumed by the demanding void.

“I heard the latest campaign went well,” Armitage approached him with a smug look. Of course, the General was being sarcastic. The latest campaign had been an uphill struggle requiring Kylo Ren’s vigilance and terror invoking presence.

Ben held his tongue, too tired, and dangerously on the edge of full darkness to argue. Instead, he kept the conversation on the facts, “The situation remains stable. The majority of the rebellion has been contained.”

“Yes, well,” Armitage strived to keep Ben’s pace as they headed to contact the Supreme Leader, “Leader Snoke will hardly be pleased they were not all wiped from the face of the planet’s surface. I’m of a mind to send in a second strike. This time we’ll oversee the wave together. No mistakes.”

Ben clenched his jaw. Once more, he was thankful his helmet maintained an appearance of civility, masking his reactions perfectly. Armitage constantly reached for sly insults. Little did he know, Ben had intentionally allowed a lucky few to escape. Apparently, he had only created more work for himself. Of course Armitage with his constant vigilance would demand a return. Here he thought he could spend the night and a few hours of the next day training Rey.

“They won’t escape this time,” Ben lied. Before he knew what he was saying, he added, “I have a mind to take Rey with us. Show the insurgents exactly how deadly she can be.”

Normally Armitage was quick with a bitter comeback. However, he remained quiet for a moment, before admitting, “She’s certainly doing well in her studies.” He stayed thoughtful even as they neared the projection room. There was a strange gentleness to his voice, “Her instructor spoke with me. Clearly, she favors me, our side of the family, in her intelligence and talent.”

Ben hardly knew how to reply. Apparently his wife had made quite the impression on her brother while he was away. She had that effect on people. Moreover, Armitage, who cared for very little outside of work, had checked on her status. Somehow, the rivalry from their first meeting had vanished. Instead of being resentful, the General seemed proud of his newfound baby sister.

“She should be studying at the main campus,” Armitage’s tone became brisk once more, “A shame, really, that she’s tied here.”

Ben frowned. There, finally, was Armitage’s sting. Of course he meant tied to Kylo Ren.

“She’s free to do as she chooses,” Ben muttered, unable to fully mask his anger at the insult.

“So you say,” the General allowed his smug, slight, smile to shine through as they halted at the door. “But a woman in her condition…”

At his sides Ben held his fists, while his shoulders bore the rest of the tension. He tilted his head, warning Armitage while enduring the General’s newest, cheap conniving offense. He was treading into delicate territory.

“Strike a nerve, Ren?” The General looked proud of himself.

Ben shook his helmet slowly, exerting control, “Must I remind you, General? The rules of discussing private life?”

“She’s my sister,” he alleged, still smiling, not backing down, “You assumed I’d have no interest in her welfare? That I would allow her talent and resources to go to waste because of your passing fancy to marry her?” Armitage’s smile faded to pure revulsion. “You forget I know how the story ends. I know your type. I knew Brendol.”

The slow seeping darkness suddenly heated and boiled across Ben’s skin. He felt the hatred. His fingers twitched, knowing the easiest way to remedy the situation. There would be consequences to Force Choking a general. Most likely, Snoke would reassign Ben elsewhere or demand, once again, he finish his training. The entire mission would be delayed. He would be forced to leave Rey. The thought frightened him. Of course she could take care of herself. But if she happened to be discovered or caught helping the Resistance, there’d be no one to take the blame for her. No one to distract Snoke so she could escape to fight another day.

No. Ben held his vow to die for her close to his heart. Someday Armitage would pay. Today was not that day.

Ben knew now was perfect timing to tell Armitage he was wrong, he was fool for thinking or believing the rumors about Rey.

But staring into the General’s abhorrence, Ben wanted to fight. He did not want to take the easy way out. Not with his pride on the line; everything he dreamed about. A boastful, vain part of him wanted the First Order to believe the lies. Was it so shocking? Couldn’t Kylo Ren woo and wed his match? Father a much-wanted child? Hadn’t Darth Vader done as much?

“This story is different, General. In future, you’ll do well not to forget it.” Kylo Ren casually raised his fist, daring, warning, for only a second. As tactful as he could manage, he opened his palm and motioned for Armitage to enter the doorway first.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot bunnies are driving the bus now...I'm going to let 'em.

When Ben trudged back through their doorway, by the ancient Whills, he had no idea in the galaxy what time it was.

Damn Snoke.

It was as though the Supreme Leader had a mind to punish him. Push him harder for trying to find some bliss with Rey. Kylo Ren had no choice but to obey. Keep the game going for a little while longer. The Resistance needed more plans and more weaknesses. The two of them, himself and Rey, needed the best, most efficient way to take out Snoke. It would have to be quick and clean with an escape route in place. He wanted to be the one to serve the fatal blow.

Soon. Very soon victory over him would be sweet.

He pressed the button on the door. His tired eyes could hardly believe the sight in front of him. He couldn’t get his helmet off fast enough.

It was his turn to gaze upon his sleeping partner.

Rey was softly slumbering on the couch. Seemingly, she had dragged the green comforter and several of the pillows off her bed, making herself a camp in the commons area. Ben couldn’t be sure if she had intended to wait for him and grown tired, or planned for tonight to be his, as she had sweetly put it, turn on the bed.

Either way, it wouldn’t do. He’d die before he let her become as tired and worn as he felt. She had to stay alert. Befriend the First Order and take its secrets. Only then would everything be set right.

He quietly strolled past her, opening the door to his expanse. He slammed his helmet into its pillar of ashes, watching them stir to life. For an instant, his eyes flickered to Vader’s helmet, breaking his daydream of scooping Rey into his arms and affectionately sleeping on top of the covers next to her. He let the thought die. She’d hate him in the morning. Probably kick him to the floor. Perhaps, as swiftly as she had kicked his haunches on Starkiller base. 

He turned. Truthfully, her shocking action was as alluring now as it was back then. But regardless, if he took the chance, he very much doubted he’d find any rest next to her. He’d lay awake wondering what sort of dream her wandering mind conjured. Would it be another pleasant ocean? Or some battle that loomed ahead? He could easily know. It might kill him not to know. He couldn’t.

He gently shut the door and returned to her.

For a second, the briefest of moments, he wanted to kiss her forehead, but doubted his ability not to frighten her.

“Rey,” he called lightly.

She stirred slowly. “Go to bed,” she mumbled into the pillow, content to fall back asleep.

Instead, he lifted her ankles and took a seat on the couch. He moved her feet, placing them in his lap. He couldn’t help but feel the silky edge of the pajamas he’d bought her. Her skin looked magnificent in red, his favorite color before he’d even known the dark side. He would talk to her for a moment and coax her to return to her room. He just needed to sit down. Rest. He couldn’t go on much longer.

“I talked with Snoke,” he lowered his head to back of the couch and closed his weary eyes, “It took some pleading, near groveling, but I convinced him to let you accompany me to Jeglarus. There’s a minor rebellion there. Fairly primitive.”

“Oh,” she acknowledged and struggled to stay awake. She gave a sleepy sigh with her eyes shut.

“Sweetheart,” he shifted, getting comfortable. He dropped his voice lower, into a whisper, “Mother told me they have people there. I’ve copied some battle plans, locations, we can warn them. Will you help me?”

“Course, Ben,” she exhaled. “Did you learn anything new about Snoke?”

“No. He avoids his origins completely,” Ben frowned. He gently shook Rey’s feet, “I want you to return to your room,” he relaxed his shoulders on the couch feeling the tension fade.

“I’m comfortable,” she argued, not moving a muscle.

“You need your rest. In the morning, I want to train with you. Being here with me, I don’t want you to fall behind on the ways of the Force. It’s too important.”

She didn’t answer.

“You’re doing well in your classes…” he felt sleep pull at him. He fought it. “I knew you were impressive. Now everyone else agrees.” His grip loosened around silky material. “Keep making important connections and we’ll find what we’re looking for. It’ll be over before we know it. I promise, sweetheart, we’ll finish it. Then we can…we can leave together…we can do anything you want…sweetheart…”

He waited for a reply, one that never came.

So he drifted away.


	14. Chapter 14

Rey tried to turn over. Something was blocking her movement, keeping her pressed against soft fabric. She kept inhaling the faint smell of a fresh forest mixed with a hint of nectar. However, even with the cold forced air, she felt uncomfortably warm. Heat, like oversleeping on a summer’s morning on Jakku, made her stir. She reached to throw the comforter off her body. It slipped to the floor.

Nevertheless, the temperature barely improved. There was something else wrapped around her. Eyes closed, she grasped through her self-made darkness.

She found skin. A hand.

In a flash, she became awake enough to realize she was resting against something alive: warm, solid, breathing in and out. Human. Her eyes flew open. Alert, she feared the worse.

She lifted with a start.

Ben Solo.

In all his dark glory.

She had slept with Ben Solo.

Her partner. Her Master’s nephew. Han and General Leia’s son. Dark warrior. Former nightmare and monster.

That fading evening on Ahch-To, seeing his ship land, she feared the worst. Luke was reading in the Temple. Chewie, as always, was busy maintaining the Falcon. There hadn’t been time to say a word. Grabbing the Skywalker lightsaber, she ran to meet the enemy, prepared for combat.

However, lowering the ramp, completely alone, his simmering eyes had greeted her with sorrow so consuming, her own heart had felt the cracks. Letting his lightsaber hilt slip from his fingers to the soft ground, he’d furiously shaken his head through the mist rising in his eyes. _“I’m not here to fight you, Scavenger.”_

She’d hardly believed it.

Luke had walked with his nephew at the ocean’s edge as the solitary moon rose high in sky. Time stood still. It felt like forever. The wind and waves blocked out most of the intense conversation. Rey watched from a lofty cliff, her eyes not daring to glance away for one second. She waited, prepared for a trap. In her hand she held both lightsabers. She only caught fragments from the warlord and the Jedi Master.

_“He senses it…”_

_“Ben…it’s not too late…”_

_“There’s no hope…”_

_“There’s always room for a new hope…”_

_“I can’t…defeat him…alone….”_

_“Mustn’t leave the Temple...”_

_“No options…”_

_“The Force is with you….you’ll think of a way…a plan…”_

Something had happened. The light. The balance.

At daybreak, the villainous boy she’d known as Kylo Ren, returned to the interior of his Command Shuttle. Luke made his way up the stone stairs.

_“Master?”_ She had sought an answer.

The Jedi formed a slight smile. _“I’ll set a breakfast table for four.”_

That first morning, her, Chewie, Luke, and Ben had sat around the most awkward, meager, banquet of blue milk and starfruit imaginable.

Ben had sipped his milk slowly, the cup drawn to his lips, eyes burning through her the entire time across the table.

Now? Now the plan was underway.

It was going astray.

She couldn’t remember what happened. She admitted a dark part of her, one she buried and hid, delighted in his touch, kiss, and words. Had she failed to deny the feelings? Had the impulsive thoughts become a reality? Before the wedding, Luke took her aside, and issued subtle warnings about the potential challenges of the plan. She gave him a stubborn laugh. She could be the next last Jedi. If a man could follow the old Code, couldn’t a woman?

It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? She wasn’t just trying to prove a point to Master Skywalker?

Looking at Ben, she wasn’t so sure of her feelings. She didn’t dare search them. Not with so much at stake.

His masculine face and dark curls were resting peaceful on the pillow they’d shared. His strong arms were still protectively cradling her against his well-built chest. She broke the embrace, rose, desperate to understand. Rapidly, she recognized the common area and the couch. As well as, the comforter and the pillows she had pulled from her room. He was still covered from head to toe in his dark garb, save for his helmet. Her pajamas were perfectly intact.

She’d fallen asleep. He’d entered the room and sat down. Talked.

For a moment she had thought…no, had she dreamed…something scandalous?

She took a deep breath, relaxing. She almost laughed, thankful the whole matter was so innocent. He’d passed out on the couch. Sometime in the wee hours, they’d unconsciously cuddled together. Comical, really.

She hadn’t slept with him, per say, as much as she had snuggled in his perfectly fine arms. So close. The couch was small. She scarcely knew how Ben was comfortable. He was tall. Towering, imposing, and stately, even when asleep.

She couldn’t think about that now. Glancing at the time on the data pad, her alarm was set to go off in five minutes. She rushed to her room. She had to get ready or she’d be late for her newest assignment.


	15. Chapter 15

Seeing her in the hallway, McRory Pellaeon threw up his hand in a giddy, quick wave, his white teeth blinding. His cadet uniform was perfect, as always, his personality the same equal parts frivolous and lighthearted.

Rey smiled despite herself. He was young and thoroughly annoying at times, but McRory was becoming a good friend. She hoped, in the end, he’d see the error of his family’s loyalties and be redeemed when the Resistance took power. He only needed a push, something to jumpstart him, like Finn. It’d be a shame for his promising disposition to go to waste.

“This is place?” McRory rolled his eyes to the doorway with awe.

Rey doubled checked the number. “According to the instructions,” she agreed.

McRory didn’t wait. He tapped at the door eagerly. A second past before it opened. Stepping inside, with a click of his heels, it didn’t seem possible, but the kid’s smile increased. Rey followed him.

“It is truly an honor, sir,” McRory thrust his hand at General Armitage Hux.

Standing in front of his desk Armitage kept his face even, emotionless. His eyes beheld the excitable boy.

“McRory Pellaeon,” the boy didn’t quit, “Of the,” he drew out the word, “Pellaeons. You know grandfather and his cousin.”

“Course,” Armitage finally extended his hand. The two shook. Her brother’s eyes floated from young McRory to Rey, and back to McRory again. His mind clearly deciding an opinion. He became nearly amused. “Your instructor tells me you’re partners?” He looked Rey square in the eye. “How nice. It’s important to form connections when you’re young.” His smile seemed to imply more. But he quickly turned, motioning to the chairs in his office. “Please have a seat.” Rey and McRory did as he requested, as Armitage walked around his desk and did the same. He rolled his chair forward. “I must admit, I’m surprised you chose me for your class interview.”

“I wanted to talk to Thrawn,” McRory confessed openly, “but grandfather says he’s rather reclusive now. Rey thought this would be easier, cause you’re her brother and all and the instructor thought it was grand.” The boy didn’t know when to quit.

“I see,” Armitage turned sour. “Well, I haven’t got all day. You’re fortunate I had an open block on my schedule due to my departure for the Jeglarus rebellion.”

McRory laughed a little. “Those pigs think they can win?”

Armitage relaxed a little in his chair, pleased at the boy’s retort. “I don’t pretend to care what goes through the minds of lesser beings. I suppose they have a death wish.”

“Indeed,” McRory agreed.

Rey shifted her feet, uneasy. She gripped the edge of her small, thin voice recorder. “We won’t delay you,” she hit the record button, “Tell us. What year were you born according to the Lothal Calendar?”

Armitage pursed his lips, “3277 LY.” His eyes gave Rey a small, distrustful warning not to press much further into his past.

“Weird,” McRory cut in, “So you were my age when she was born? No wonder you don’t hang out or anything.”

Armitage smiled wickedly at the boy’s tender idiocy.

“Home world?” Rey continued, awkwardly staring at the voice recorder.

“Arkanis,” he said firmly. He didn’t offer more.

“Nice port. Very rainy,” McRory wanted to hear himself speak and impress the general with his travels. Rey and Armitage ignored him.

“Why did you join the First Order?” Rey forced herself to ask for the sake of the assignment.

Her brother blinked. Once. Twice. Staying very still otherwise. “Legacy,” he breathed. He kicked his chair back a little, reclining. Becoming thoughtful, he added, “But more than that. I believe in galactic stability. I believe in the strong and the clever and their natural right to prevail. The fit survive. And we are the fittest. It’s only logical we show the full extend of our power and rule the galaxy that awaits us. Palpatine had a vision. Leader Snoke has a plan. I’d like to think of myself as the brains behind that plan.”

“I feel the same way,” McRory nodded, hands clasped in wonder. “Your speech on Starkiller Base was my absolute favorite, sir.”

Authentic pride filled Armitage’s face. He rocked back in his chair, deciding young McRory would do perfectly well.

“What do you feel is your favorite aspect of working for the First Order?” Rey asked, her mind feeling incredulous. This was an assignment? More like a lesson in outright bootlicking. 

“I love weapons,” her brother’s expression became light, lost in memory. “Starkiller was a pity. They’ll be another, soon. I also love when the undeserving get their comeuppance. Directing retaliation is my favorite.”

McRory was still devouring every word. Rey nodded and continued.

“What would you say is most challenging?”

“Personally?” Armitage touched his chest and laughed without making a sound. “That’s easy. Working with individuals who put their personal agendas before the good of Order. On a daily basis, I am compelled to work with persons,” his gaze stayed on Rey, “arrogant and temperamental, who endanger our goals with their selfish, power-hungry schemes.”

“Hey,” McRory looked from the general to Rey, “That sounds a lot like…”

Rey couldn’t, wouldn’t, let the boy finish. She knew perfectly well.

“There’s going to be another?” Rey interjected. The question wasn’t on the script, but she demanded to know, “What can you tell us about that?”

Armitage blinked again, smiled. “Children, I’ve said too much.” He slammed his palms on the desk. “That’s outside the scope of our interview. You’ll know soon enough.” He sounded thrilled. “It’ll be like waiting for a surprise party.”

McRory moved to the edge of his chair, eyes filled with wonder. “How long do we have to wait?”

Rey was glad his stupid quips were helping her for once. She swallowed, still gripping the recorder in her sweating palm. She couldn’t look at her brother. Looking up might give every secret away. She wasn’t overjoyed and curious like her friend. She felt terrified. The Resistance needed to be warned.

“A good eight months, I’d say,” the clear answer came delighted.

Rey wiped her palm on her uniform. She could barely go on. However, she had to maintain the appearance. She needed to finish the assignment. “Tell us, where do you see yourself in ten years?”

“Most assuredly I’ll be commanding the weapon with Snoke’s guidance. Perhaps building a few updated models,” he said, as though the answer was obvious. Rey’s soul shattered as he wickedly added, “I’d also like to help my sister raise my nephew or niece in the fundamentals of the Order without the interference or hindrance of horrid, mystical persons.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5.17.17 - Corrected typos me and my beta missed first time around ;)
> 
> Super-duper thank you for reading!!

_“I am with the Force,”_ Rey kept thinking to herself. She had to stay calm. Remembering the way Luke taught her to breathe in times of chaos.

The information was too important. It couldn’t wait. They had to tell someone back at the Resistance. She didn’t have much to go on, but eight months wasn’t much time. If they hurried, maybe it could be stopped before gaining full power. Billions of lives could be saved.

Storming her way down the halls, Rey lifted her hand to her temple, reaching out through the Force, _“Ben, I learned something. You’re right. General Hux is slipping up. There’s a new weapon. It’ll be complete eight months from now. I don’t have anything else to go on. But it’s a start. We’ve got to relay the news.”_

Ben’s reply was swift. However, Rey could feel the pain drip through his response. He was struggling with a massive weight on his heart, _“I feared as much. Sweetheart, at the moment I’m completely bound to Snoke’s lesson. He’ll know if I leave. Follow the procedure we discussed, and I promise I’ll come to you as soon as I possibly can.”_

A chill darted down Rey’s spine. Right. She could do this. They had discussed their protocol prior to arrival. It was too obvious and dangerous to send messages or contact anyone in their private quarters. It had to be somewhere public. A data pad or holo anyone could access.

She headed for the ship’s archive.

It took longer to find than anticipated, but thankfully the archive was a quiet, deserted place. An elderly gentleman in uniform, clearly the caretaker, sat at a desk in the foyer. He said nothing, giving her a stern passing glance as she rushed in, before returning his focus to the ancient tome in his hands.

Ben had told her about this place. Before her arrival, during his first days loyal to the Order, he’d spent his few moments of free time browsing the records recovered from the Empire. Mostly looking for the truth about Darth Vader, the secret grandfather kept from him for so long. And later, after he re-embraced the light that pulled at him, any trace of Snoke’s past, a means to stop him.

Rey dashed between the maze of tall shelves that contained both digital and physical volumes housed away in drawers. Underneath the shiny First Order handles, each drawer was labeled with its approximate year. Finally, midway through, she reached an open space dedicated to study. Half a dozen circular tables waited with standard office chairs. Between them, kiosks with computers stood on stand-by.

She halted her pace, mindful of a stormtrooper reading, and an over-worked technician napping. Quietly, she tapped the computer’s screen, bringing it back to life. She scrolled out of the archive’s massive database, returning to the system’s basic functions. There she could create a simple ciphertext for their main contact at the Resistance.

According to Ben, his name was Boushh, an old bounty hunter. The name, from all the adventures she’d heard of Han Solo, sounded vaguely familiar. However, she couldn’t specifically place the name to a face or historical event. Regardless, to keep the cover safe, all messages had to be formatted as a request for bounty hunting services.

Rey slowly began typing on the Galactic Basic keyboard. It took a moment. The letters weren’t in alphabetical order. She searched each key:

_“Mighty Boushh,_

_Your feats are legendary.”_

Rey wasn’t sure if Boushh’s feats were legendary or not, but if she had to falsify contacting a bounty hunter, he had better be good at his job to keep up the guise.

_“My brother tells me that a weapon similar to Starkiller Base will be operational in eight months. I sincerely hope we can come to some agreement on your services and payment before that time. I will be in touch and will update you when information on my location at that date becomes available._

_Your client,”_

She paused. She had tried to type her name, but the processor demanded a hand-drawn signature to accept and send the message. She’d never drawn her own name. On Jakku there was little need for it. She could read Basic. Knew it well enough to type it. But forming the letters with her fingertips would take more practice than she had time for right now.

The stormtrooper seemed to be slightly mindful of her now. Course, Rey kept glancing over her shoulder as she typed. Half the time, he appeared to be tilting his head in her direction. It could have been her imagination. Either way, her hands trembled a little. An unsent message was a danger. Forming a new plan, she erased the word brother and exchanged it for brother-in-law. At the end of the message, she knew how to scrawl and loop only one name:

_“Kylo Ren”_

She had just finished swirling the moniker when a presence neared her. A hand grasped her shoulder. Terrified, she instinctively elbowed it away.

The owner’s voice groaned and muffled a seductive laugh through his helmet, “Darling, you’re vicious to me today. I absolutely love it.”

Eyes wide in shock, she dropped her mouth to say his name, but quickly remembered, “Ren.”

He moved his gloved hand to stroke her cheek with his thumb. Instantly, he removed his helmet with the other hand. Lifting it, his lips were suddenly pressed to her ear. This close, she could smell the same wondrous scent of clean trees and nectar.

“I’ll be scathed for taking off. I need to create a reason, a disturbance for it.”

Rey nodded. Without speaking, she told him, _“I just need to press send.”_

“Good,” he kept his lips in place. “Do you have any reservations about causing a horrendous scene with me? May I kiss you?”

A chill blossomed against Rey’s skin. Time stood still. She licked her lips, feeling a mysterious tug on her heart. It’d be a lie not to say she’d like it very much. Instead, she kept the information to herself, thankful he wasn’t probing her mind.

“No,” she breathed, “Whatever it takes…for the galaxy.”

“I’ll blame it on lust,” he rasped, and urgently started kissing her ear, “He’ll be furious...but he’ll believe.”

Rey gasped as he lifted her at the waist, slamming her body on top of the computer kiosk with little effort. The monitor slid backwards, making room for her. Not taking his hands off her, he rushed his fingers up and down her ribcage. Almost daring to touch her intimately, but not quite. For a mere passing second, his sensitive eyes betrayed a look of worry, almost asking if she was certain. She gave the tiniest nod. His eyes simmered once more. He pressed himself closer.

His lips overtook her, kissing her with a hungry desperation Rey hardly knew humanly possible. He wrapped one arm around her, still holding his helmet, and pressed her as flush to his body as possible. She was going to fall off the kiosk or fall into him. The sensation overwhelmed her every nerve. She relaxed, closed her eyes, despite the risk to their very lives. To be so full of him. So close. It should have felt wicked. Instead, it felt a thousand times right. She allowed the thrill to linger.

With his other hand, he reached for the send button. Touching the screen once, twice, three times with his long, gloved fingers before he got it amidst their kiss. Waiting to be sure, he moved the working hand to the nape of her neck and deepened the fervent liplock with his pleading, silken tongue.

_Desire._

Rey had never known. Never expected to find such a feeling. She couldn’t understand it. But it didn’t matter now. She didn’t want it to stop. Ben Solo. How did he possess such power? To look at him, she’d never realize. But to know him, to taste that warm seeking mouth, what a beautiful phenomenon.

There was a clang in the background.

Rey’s eyes flew open. Ben groaned with a mix of pleasure and disappointment as he tore from their kiss.

The stormtrooper, obviously scandalized by their outpouring of sentiment, had scurried from the table. The poor technician was still dozing, oblivious.

Ben laughed. His eyes darted to the screen, seeing the message sent. He smiled, his gaze burned back to Rey. Instinctively, she closed her eyes, waiting to feel his mouth on hers, again.

Again. The taste. The touch. A moment that took her from this terrible place and made Rey go out of her mind. How was it possible?

Ben threw the monitor to the archive floor. The glass shattered. Wires sparked. He dropped his helmet, forgetting himself.

“You have no idea how much I want you,” he growled. 

Before Rey could question his statement, he scooped her from the top of the kiosk and carried her through the maze shelves. At the sight of Ren, the caretaker ducked under his desk. Meanwhile, the technician finally stirred and frowned. He’d have to restore another mess, no thanks to the ever-destructive Kylo Ren.

Striding like a man possessed, Ren left the archive with his bride in his arms. Rushing through the corridors of the Battlecruiser, his mind racing, he didn’t care who saw or what they would say about him and his love. The stormtroopers. The TIE pilots. The technicians. The officers. They parted the halls in fear. Rushed out of his way in shock. Let them gossip. Let them tell Snoke. Let the Supreme Leader feel his own twisted lesson backfire. Ben was ready to fight, to die if necessary, soon as Rey was safe.

Finally reaching the door of their private chambers, he watched their neighbors scatter. Seeing the opportunity, he fiercely drank Rey’s accommodating lips one last time. Tomorrow the word would spread. Everyone would say and know why Kylo Ren had deliberately disobeyed Snoke’s instruction.

As he pressed, her mouth replied. Without warning, her sly tongue danced against his own. Her body tensed. He felt her beautiful heart race. He forced himself to stop and heard an almost inaudible whimper escape her throat.

He marveled at how well she could act.

When the mission ended, they’d give her a metal.

He carried her inside.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5.17.17 - Updated for typos I missed ;)

Ben sighed a weary breath of relief when the door slid closed.

Still carrying her in his arms, he crossed the commons area and headed directly for the small hallway.

Rey’s heart became a thunderclap. For an unspeakable second, she thought he might take her into the bedroom. Then, outrageous as it seemed, her mind betrayed her, and she daydreamed what would happen during such a moment.

He’d probably kick the door open with his boot. Lay her on the bed. Cover her with his body and kisses as she ran her fingers through his soft hair. Undress. More of the same.

She realized she actually knew very little about what happened between couples beyond that point. She’d never needed the full, vivid, detailed information prior to wanting it so desperately this very moment. She hadn’t counted on being a bride. The life of a scavenger was difficult enough without wasting precious time searching for a boyfriend.

Ben had taught her kissing without even knowing it. And more, she admitted. The feelings behind the action. Curiosity. Secret ponderings. 

He could carry her through the door and show her everything.

This tiptoed beyond sentiment.

The feeling was dangerous. She was getting carried away. Her face and neck were on fire. She fought to think clearly.

What would the galaxy think of her?

She wanted to be the next last Jedi.

Didn’t she?

The idea seemed so uncomplicated before.

But he didn’t kick the bedroom door open. Instead, he balanced her weight against him with one arm and opened the door to her training room.

He then gently returned her to her feet and walked away from her.

She watched as he leaned his head against the wall, pressing his palms into his eyes like he might pass out.

“Ben?” She took a step closer. He’d never looked so defeated before, even when they were on opposite sides.

“That,” he sounded so far away. Utterly distracted. “Exhausted me.”

“Oh,” Rey felt her soul wither and crawl away. How foolish. Thank goodness one of them didn’t delight in delusions of grandeur.

“I’m sorry,” he said, letting the Force sustain him. “Snoke thinks he can mold me into feeling how he wants me to feel. Today, he showed me again,” he lifted his head and ran his fingers through his hair, then tugged at it for mental clarity, “the death of a woman who’d just given birth to twins. She was so loved. The children purely innocent. He showed me her funeral. He wanted me to hate them. To feel nothing but apathy.”

He kept his hands on his forehead. He didn’t look at her. “You reached for me and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Ben,” she put her hand on his shoulder as a means of support. She felt his turmoil, the storm he tried to control. “If I had known, I would have waited.” She shook her head. “I nearly had the message sent when you arrived. You’ve risked yourself over nothing.”

“Nothing?” He finally brought his eyes to her. “I promised you. You needed me, and I vowed to protect you. I didn’t take that lightly, Rey.”

She frowned. His impulsive behavior concerned her. He was going to get himself hurt, and she wasn’t going to stand by and let him. He was her partner. She wanted him to survive the mission. Somewhere in her heart, she’d grown attached to the idea of the two of them raising Force sensitive orphans.

“It was pretend, Ben. I don’t hold you to any of it. I just thought,” she fought for the right words, “Since we’ll always be united legally, it’d be nice to have a ceremony. For fun. It was a joke. A silly, childish, girlish whim. It feels foolish now that we’re here. This mission is so much more important.”

Inside, Ben died a little. His heart was Alderaan, and she was the Death Star. A joke. A whim. An amusement. He was an amusement to her, nothing more. He might have been a Gungan clown; their wedding ceremony the circus. His heart refused to bear it. He wanted very much to storm away. But there was nowhere to go. He couldn’t let the First Order think he was finished. Vader’s helmet would offer him little comfort. Today, he was done with darkness. He craved the light. But there was very little of it here. He needed to find a balance. He wished they could return to Ahch-To, if only for a moment.

His time there had brought him a great peace. A sense of peace he hadn’t known since, well, even as a child his days with Skywalker had been full of turmoil. After his terrible, life-shattering mistake, killing his own father, he craved the Force’s serenity.

The Temple gave him solace.

Would it still offer him relief? He’d asked Rey to marry him within its ancient walls. The plan and question had grown slowly in his mind. He’d mulled it over for days. Doubted himself. Feared. However, the Temple calmed his worries. And one day, he’d found the right words to reach her.

That first morning on Ahch-To, he’d sat at Luke’s table, sipping a glass of horrid blue milk. There was no telling where in the galaxy it had been purchased. It wasn’t cold. Probably wasn’t produced by the natural, non-additive grocery methods Ben preferred. However, his father taught him long ago, _“Son, never offend the natives. Offend the natives, and it’ll come back to bite you in the…”_ Skywalker was the native of Ahch-To in this scenario. 

His uncle, being a forgiving man, had seated himself next to Ben. Chewie sat himself on Ben’s right, although he said nothing and didn’t make eye contact. He and the Wookie had never been close, although the life debt certainly extended to Ben, parenticide or not.

The girl had no option but to seat herself directly in front of Ben. An occurrence, Ben didn’t mind in the least. She was beautiful. On Takodana, he had likened her to a wood nymph, rare, perfectly tempting, despite every shred of sense and logic. He’d never felt so instantly connected to another person. There was something. He might have known her forever.

She was Force sensitive, she’d seen the map, and she was only a Scavenger. Such toll was a hard life. In twenty years, the sun would break and weather her, creating a complete waste of vibrant potential. Impulsively, he’d made the decision for her. She would give him the map, and he would give her a new life. He would teach her the ways of the Force.

That plan had failed rather miserably.

However, Skywalker had reminded him it wasn’t too late. There was always room for a new hope. He would think of a way, a plan to defeat Snoke.

Ben stared at her. Sipped again. Swallowed.

If Skywalker couldn’t help him, chose to guard the Temple and the last of the Jedi knowledge with his life, perhaps someone else could. Someone like her.

After Starkiller base, he’d assumed he’d never see her again. Yet, here she was, right in front of him. Destiny. He believed in destiny. By the Whills, there was a reason for everything. He’d made mistakes. He wasn’t the man or the Jedi he should have been. But he could set it right. The Force was leading the way.

At first, he’d been a coward. He’d hoped, if he stared at her long enough each day, she’d acknowledge him, and give him the right moment to speak up. But her glances in his direction were quick and seemed to cause her pain. Her dark eyes would meet his for a mere second, dart to his scar, and away. He wanted to tell her the scrape didn’t bother him. But he’d been very direct with her on Starkiller Base. She hadn’t reacted well.

For two weeks, he’d stayed, seeking more of Skywalker’s advice. He never meant to watch her like a stalker. It, too, had happened accidentally.

He sat on a steep hill, meditating, trying to find a balance when suddenly he’d heard her voice above the sounds of the ocean, the wind, and sea-faring birds. The voice of a mournful angel. He had to open his eyes. He stood up.

Below, she was singing some sorrowful Jakku folk song and fiercely swinging the Skywalker lightsaber, the wind tugging at her hair and modest robes. She twirled the hilt over her head. Suddenly lunged forward, and blocked imaginary enemies. The fluid motion might have hypnotized him. She was the most incredible person. He realized then that if he left without her, he’d never, so long as he lived, get her out of his head. She was a vision.

In the present, Ben took a deep breath, feeling the Force.

_Love._

Even if she didn’t love him in return, he’d show her compassion.

“Course,” he agreed with her. “Good work. I scarcely thought Armitage would buy the story behind being his sister. He’s certainly latched on to the idea. Keep pressing him.”

“He outright threatened you today,” Rey admitted. “Be careful.”

Ben smiled a little, pleased by her concern.

“Don’t let his empty words get to you.” He ran his fingers through his hair again, allowing his locks to fall back into place. “I know we fell asleep last night…did you catch my news? We’re going to Jeglarus.” He unhooked his lightsaber from his belt. “So unless Snoke arrives here personally, I’m free to train you until this evening.”

“No,” she demanded, “You should rest. Take the bed. I’ve been training with the remote droid every day.”

He laughed and stared at his hands. “I’m too worked up to sleep. I think we both need to exert our energy. There’s nothing quite like combat to clear and release one’s body and mind.”

He ignited the blade.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben train and skate around discussing the past and Ben's objections to the Jedi Code.

“Harder,” he shouted, brows knit together, trying to provoke her. His blade crashed into hers with a violent sizzle, the blazing unstable red on blue. He wanted her to push him back and fight with the passion from before.

For the better part of an hour, they had shuffled the entirety of the empty room, both working up a sweat. Rey’s hair was falling, but she held Ben’s attacks at bay. He stayed on the affront, demanding more of her.

“I’ll hurt you,” she fought, glaring, unable to believe his pleading. Of course, she was suppressing her power, and for a good reason.

“Hurt me!” He snarled over the hum of their blades in frustration, flashing his white teeth. “Don’t be afraid, that’s what the bacta tank is for! I know you can win! Defeat me, again!”

She backed away, withdrawing her blade. “That was different!”

“It won’t be different with Snoke!” He chased and cut her off into the far corner. She’d have to defend herself for the hundredth time.

She blocked him again. “When that day comes, I’ll be ready!”

_I’ll be ready_ , she thought again to reassure herself. The statement reminded her of the afternoon on Ahch-To when Ben had first broken his silence towards her.

She’d been practicing on the hillside with Luke’s old training remote droid. It was a standard exercise in her Jedi lessons. However, she hadn’t slept well the night before, and her groggy senses made for careless mistakes. Turning and hovering repeatedly, one of the droid’s small blasts nicked the edge of her robes. She huffed, annoyed her clothing would smell singed.

“Why didn’t you freeze the blast mid-air?” Came the sharp, intrusive question from above.

A chill ran down her spine. The voice wasn’t Skywalker. As she turned and looked up, she knew the voice’s owner.

Kylo Ren was perched above her on the next cliff. He’d been studying her, watching her like a grand show for his quiet entertainment. He got to his feet with ease. Upon reaching his full height, the gentle wind tousled his dark hair, almost like a creature trying to escape. He stepped down the steep bank with his black boots, every movement confident as he neared her.

Initially, she wanted to run away from him in the opposite direction. To shout, _“None of your business,”_ over her shoulder and find herself a new task for the day.

But then he’d declared solemnly, “If I’m going to help the Resistance, I might as well help you.”

“So, it’s not just about revenge against Snoke?” Her equally prying words left her mouth as she watched him walk over. “You’ve joined the Resistance?”

“I spoke with my mother two days ago,” he offered freely.

If General Leia could forgive him and trust him again, it had to be true. She was a strong woman with a good sense of character. Rey held her in great esteem, imagining what it would be like to have her as a mother. Stories of General Leia’s adventures had always inspired Rey and continued to influence her to this day. She was an excellent person.

Now her son stood in front of Rey, offering to his help. What a twist of fate. That day on Jakku, meeting BB-8, Rey never would have imagined the path ahead.

Showing off, he lifted his gloved palm and froze the training remote midair. He slowly walked closer to her.

“If you can lift items using the Force, you can freeze them. It’s the same basic concept,” he began teaching her.

In the present, Ben was still challenging her. He shouted, “Show me now!” His intense eyes showed increased fury. “Don’t hold back!”

She held firm. “We’ve got to go to Jeglarus this evening! You haven’t time to dunk yourself in bacta!”

“Sweetheart,” he flashed a wicked attractive smile, “I’m flattered by your concern…but I want to see…show me everything you’re capable of!”

Her eyes fell on his scar.

“It bothers you,” he confirmed, daring to discuss the past. He narrowed his eyes and drew one hand across it for emphasis, “I love it.” He let his statement loom. “My reward for being a fool.”

Instead of making her feel better, Ben’s words broke her heart. She remembered Han and Ben on that dark bridge. For a long time, she had pondered how the outcome might have been different. So many alternative choices. But she couldn’t undo the past. They had to move forward. Han had returned to the Force. Finn had healed, his spine stronger than ever. Rey had found Master Skywalker. And Ben, in his own time, had returned to them.

However, Ben wasn’t done. With fiery red reflected his eyes, he declared, “You should have killed me. Next time, don’t look back on your enemy. Show no mercy.”

Feeling an overwhelming pang of sorrow, she threw her hand up and effortlessly Force pushed him away. He stumbled and fell, landing backwards on his elbows. His blade made a dark gash in the floor.

Rey turned her lightsaber off, “I think we need a break.” She clipped the Skywalker hilt to her cadet belt. Afterwards, she folded her arms and waited for him to rise.

“Why?” Ben pulled himself up with slight concern in his voice. He looked at the fresh gash on the floor, and cocked his mouth into a half smile filled with awe, “Darling, that was extraordinary.”

“I feel…,” Rey hardly knew if the statement would offend him, “you’re going dark.”

He exhaled loudly, eyes not leaving her, smiling, “What’s wrong with that?” The statement was almost innocent.

“It doesn’t,” she raised an eyebrow, “…concern you?”

He shook his head, took another deep breath. He turned off his lightsaber and asked, “That’s a tough question. Would you like some water, love?”

“Yes,” she answered. Ben’s term of endearment lingered in her mind a moment. Outside of combat, he was so softhearted with her. It seemed he was always trying to comfort her. She watched him leave the room, heading for their well-stocked kitchen. She decided to follow him. This was too important. “Ben…the darkside…?” She didn’t know how to ask him or express the depth of her apprehension. Skywalker wouldn’t like this. The whole mission depended on trust. If Ben gave into the dark side, or if he decided to embrace Snoke's teachings again fully, their partnership would be over. The thought frightened her. She couldn’t kill her own partner.

Calmly, he opened the cool storage. He didn’t turn but knew Rey was watching. He could feel her conflict, the doubt, and question in her mind. “I’m different, Rey. I’ve always known. Skywalker didn’t tell you?”

Rey thought back. “He said you were comfortable, that you thrive in your shadow.”

Ben shut the appliance and closed the gap between them. He smirked, reminding Rey so much of his father, “He would say that.”

“But you came back to us…Ben, I don’t like this…” She kept her arms crossed, her skeptical gaze sharp, “I thought you were on our side.”

“I’ll always be on your side,” he handed her one of the two glasses of filtered water loaded with large cubes of ice. “Never doubt that. It’s a long story, sweetheart, but I realized long ago, I’d never make it as a Jedi.” He took a sip from his glass. “I feel the pull of both sides too strongly. Nowadays, all I can do is find a balance.”

She sipped the cold water, finding it refreshing despite her confusion. “That doesn’t make any sense. Luke said you returned to the light. That first morning, after the two of you talked all night, I felt it.”

“What you felt was true,” his lips betrayed a twinge of shame. “I have embraced as much as I can. I crave more. Perhaps, when we leave here…but for now, darling, I have to dive into darkness for Snoke’s sake.”

Rey frowned. Her mind quickly considered all the possible ways to speed the mission forward. She needed more information on the weapon. She wondered if her brother carried the plans on his person. If she saw him tonight, she would press him. Either way, she felt increasingly more determined to rush for Ben’s sake. She couldn’t let him stay here, flourishing in darkness once more. 

Strangely, she felt more connected to him than ever before. Even though she’d never hold him to it, she’d vowed to protect him, too. It was the best way she could think of to justify her feelings of attachment.

Finally, she questioned, “Ben…being different, feeling the pull of both sides, is that why you left Luke’s teachings?” They had never talked about his past. Since his return, Rey had wondered what exactly had happened.

Ben chewed on a piece of ice and sat his glass on the counter. Right away, he drew closer to her and gently placed both hands on her shoulders, begging her to look him directly in the eye.

“Don’t let it bother you.” He glanced from the depths of her pupils to her lips, and she swore he was going to kiss her again. His lips looked cool and wet, and it took everything in Rey’s power not to lean in and relive their lip lock from the archive. Instead, he continued, “Everything’s perfectly fine. Long ago, before our time, the term grey Jedi floated around. But it’s archaic. I have no desire to call myself that. I disagree with too many of the Jedi ways to complete the training.”

“Like what?” Rey shot at him, insulted. 

“Has emotion or passion ever helped you?” His breath was heavy, “In any situation?” He frowned. “Don’t lie.”

Rey had no words for him. She stepped away from his touch, showing her displeasure at his point-of-view. How could he ask her that? She wasn’t a Jedi yet. Of course, those feelings had helped her in the past.

“Passion. Strength. Power. Victory…All have their place next to peace, knowledge, serenity, and harmony,” he quoted both the Jedi and the Sith Code. “I’m unable to limit myself to one or the other.”

She stared at him. Her eyes fell again on the scar he claimed he loved. She felt all those emotions, too, although she tried to deny them, especially attachment, which led to the wrong sort of emotion and passion.

When she declined to comment, he wryly added, “I also find the thought of striving for celibacy very discouraging.”

Rey’s mouth parted. She turned her eyes to the floor, remembering her daydream as Ben carried her from the archive. If he had carried her into the bedroom, how could she not have become more exceedingly attached to him? She blushed. It dawned on her; he’d just exclaimed he didn’t want to be celibate. He wanted to…she forced herself not to think about their time in the archive. Pretending, for the galaxy.

Suddenly, a devious part of her mind wondered if he wasn’t celibate. No wonder he could kiss and touch and hold with reckless abandon. The unexpected thought made her surprisingly angry. Internally, she reached for the Force, frantic to banish the jealous idea that Ben belonged to her. Ben wasn’t her possession. She had to accept that, although legally wed, after the mission they might, ultimately, decide to go their separate ways forever. He wasn’t hers to keep, and as a Jedi, she had no claim. Their only real connection was the Force.

Watching her delightful, enduring blush, Ben knew he’d embarrassed her. He tried to remedy the situation, “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have said, but you asked, and it’s a major issue,” he rambled, still trying to make it better, “I’m human. My thoughts go there…sometimes…it’s natural.”

Rey’s heart betrayed her with its steady hammer, despite telling her mind to stay calm. She’d never admit her thoughts did, too, with him. All the same, she found herself curious. She had to know. The question escaped her lips, “You believe Jedi should…?”

“Yes,” he said immediately. “It would be better,” he moved to touch Rey’s shoulder again but second-guessed the action. He held his hand midair, and continued, “For a Jedi to unite with a trusted individual. If my grandfather hadn’t, the Skywalker line would have ended. I wouldn’t exist.” His passion for the subject rose in his voice, “Attachment and possession shouldn’t be forbidden. I believe it would create and deepen a connection.”

“Connection,” Rey repeated his word, wanting time to consider his unique ideology. Surely he didn’t mean their connection. The eerie bond they never discussed. Perhaps it was time.

He lowered his hand. “I’ve vexed you,” he tried to read Rey’s stoic expression.

“I don’t know how I feel,” she admitted. “Ben, can I ask you…,” she began.

The holo pad in the commons area bleeped. The volume and frequency rapidly increased into an irritating pitch.

Ben blew an aggravated burst of air past his lips. He tensed.

“Snoke.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is dazzled by shirtless Ben, gets sidetracked into playing Sabacc with McRory, and invited to a party. Setting up the black moment and the end!

That was the final piece.

She had everything. Three fresh cadet uniforms. Extra pair of boots. Belt. Socks. Hair ties. Mouth Rise. Antiperspirant.

Rey snapped her modest suitcase shut. Ben had encouraged her to order more clothes. However, she scarcely needed them. Excess luxuries seemed wasteful. She was still a scavenger at heart, making do with what she had. Besides, they would leave the First Order soon enough. She imagined the final battle would happen swiftly, with little time to collect personal property from the Battlecruiser. 

Rey was going to make it her personal quest to speed the mission forward.

In the commons area, all was finally quiet.

Forced to answer Snoke’s urgent call, Ben had pleaded for her to leave the room. He needed to face the Supreme Leader’s potential wrath on his own. Her presence would only serve as a reminder of Kylo Ren’s sudden disobedience. Snoke already despised her enough for tempting his perfect apprentice.

She’d shut the door to her bedroom and decided not to pry. She busied herself with freshening up, fixing her hair, and preparing for Jeglarus. Innocently overhearing some of the heated, loud conversation couldn’t be helped.

_“Kylo Ren, never since becoming my apprentice…”_

_“Is it not the way of the dark side?”_

_“… Jeglarus Rebellion…General Hux…”_

_“…with me…teaching her the ways of the dark side…_

_“Foolish…”_

_“The child,”_

_”As you say, Kylo Ren, yet, I wonder…”_

_“Yes, Supreme Leader.”_

Finally, Rey opened the door to the commons area. Stepping out, her suitcase in hand, she found the room empty. But even from a distance, she could hear water running from the second bathroom.

She sat the case on the couch and stood in front of the bathroom door. The sound was definitely a rush of water. Perhaps now would be a good time to put her new plan in motion. She didn’t want Ben to worry. She knocked.

“Ben? I, um, I’m going to step out for a little while. I’ll probably be back by the time you’ve finished. Just wanted to tell you.”

Abruptly the water stopped and the door opened beneath her fist. She felt a rush of steam, and fresh heat follow the movement. The familiar, comforting scent of woodsy nectar filled the air around her.

Before Rey could blink, she suddenly faced a wall of solid ivory flesh. Pecks. Blinding. Wet. Defined. Beautiful. Dripping. Her mind went blank at the sight. It took her a second to realize Ben had opened to door. That was the only explanation. He was standing before her. It was so strange. On Jakku, everyone feared the sun and sandstorms, and kept themselves protectively covered at all times.

Her eyes quickly fell down, seeing the dark red towel he held around his waist. She quickly noticed the plush material wasn’t even tucked around his body. He was holding it in place around his hips with three long, ungloved fingers. She hadn’t seen his gentle ungloved hands since their wedding ceremony. That beauty morning when he’d kept her hands warm.

In the present, he was still keeping her warm as cascades of heat rolled across her nerves. Without warning, she longed to reach out and wipe the thick drops of water from around his perfect navel. Would his body be as strong and hard to the touch as it looked? He might have been a piece of machinery, engineered for her astonishment. With such definition, she could trace the outline of each ab with her fingertip. He was fantastic.

She forced her eyes up, determined to make sure he was real.

She met the same intense eyes.

“I can’t hear much with my head under water,” he admitted, shaking his dripping hair, which appeared longer wet. With his free hand, he wiped a few locks from his brow. His lips formed gentle concern, “You’re going out?”

Rey bit the inside of her lower lip to bring herself back to reality. “Y-yesss,” she managed to breathe through her teeth. 

“Alright, sweetheart, be careful,” he tilted his head, still dripping, looking slightly sad, “I’ll be a while.”

“Take your time,” she replied, still stupefied with secret fascination.

He smiled and searched her expression for a curious second. Content, he carefully closed the door. Rey heard the water begin again.

She stared at the door a moment. Sighed and clenched her hand to her chest.

_Ben Solo._

He was the most unique creature she’d ever beheld. Simply wondrous. Atop that body, his eyes reduced her to chills. His hair was alluring and soft. And underneath all that skin and muscle and Skywalker Solo blood and bone, he was a sensitive, misunderstood soul wrongly pulled between light and dark. He needed compassion. He needed another chance away from this miserable place. She was going to buy him that chance. He was going to survive, now and forever. She would see to it.

For him, she’d risk it all.

She hurried out of their private quarters and down the cold First Order corridor. By now her brother would have left for Jeglarus. He’d bragged about the second strike on the rebels and his own importance. If she could slip into his office, she could search for the plans, or any hint, or fragment of information for the sake of the Resistance. If caught, she’d say she’d lost something from earlier. Perhaps, part of the recorder. Or a hair tie. Or better, yet, if worse came to worse, she’d break Ben’s necklace chain and say it had fallen to the floor. That would be enough. The First Order would believe a wife wanted to retrieve her husband’s gift.

She touched her finger to the gem feeling the facets. Ben was so thoughtful. He’d ordered this necklace and all her gifts from the First Order delivery network on his Command Shuttle before they’d even arrived. She’d been so clueless and cruel to him. Today, she was going to make it up to him. She just had to work her way back to Armitage’s office. She was beginning to get the hang of the turns and corridors even though everything essentially looked the same. Cutting through the cafeteria would be the fastest way. It was past lunch, and too early for dinner. The only occupants would be stormtroopers on a quick break. No one on the Battlecruiser had much time for loitering.

Except for the other cadets.

Rey turned into the cafeteria and immediately McRory saw her face across the room.

Instantly, Rey grimaced. She hoped, maybe a quick wave would be enough to acknowledge him. But, no. McRory slid his metal chair away from his table of friends and darted towards her. She stood still. Whether she liked it or not, he was an important contact.

“You finally decided to join us today!” He beamed, absolutely thrilled.

“Join you?” Rey had no idea what he meant.

“Yes! You know, you keep making excuses instead of hanging out with us,” his smile stayed even. “I was beginning to think you don’t like us. Being a genius and all. You took off so quickly earlier.”

“Oh,” she thought quickly, “No. Yes. It’s not that. I train outside of class. And there’s Ren. Anyways, I left something in my brother’s office. I was just cutting through to get it back.”

“Oh, wow, that’s grand, I’ll go with you!” He quickly offered. “I felt so at home in there. Your brother trusts you with his lock card? That’s bloody brilliant.”

Rey pursed her mouth, trying to be polite. He was such an overeager child. She couldn’t take him to Armitage’s office. She had planned to find a weak-minded technician or stormtrooper to override the lock using the Jedi mind-trick.

“No. You’re right. I guess it would be locked and he’s gone to Jeglarus. I’ll have to wait. Ask him about it when I see him.”

“Ah,” McRory’s smile lowered for once in disappointment. It was short lived. He wouldn’t stay down for long. “But that means you have time for a quick round of Sabacc with us! We’re playing for dares in honor of Empire Day.”

Rey knew Empire Day was the anniversary of the date Emperor Palpatine took power. She felt surprised that cadets celebrated it in any fashion. It was almost ancient history now. And time-wise it was over a week away.

“Why dares?” She wondered aloud.

“I keep forgetting you didn’t transfer from the main campus,” McRory smiled so wide, with bright teeth, his face should have hurt. “It’s tradition among cadets. The winner has to set-up dares, pranks, really, and the like, for the losers. They’re carried out for Empire Day. The officers pretty well turn a blind eye to our nonsense. Right-of-passage and all.”

“Sounds risky,” Rey said, skeptical of their foolishness.

“I thought you liked danger. Come on, Rey, play with us.” McRory teased in a stage whisper, “Can’t be more frightening than Kylo Ren.”

Rey frowned. She knew little about right-of-passages. She had worked, scavenged, since childhood. Yet, she had to keep up the appearance she was part of their fanatical group, one of them. Just another legacy cadet obsessed with the past, tradition, and human supremacy, in the strong, the clever, and their natural right to prevail. McRory was standing in front of her smiling, urging her to play their game. She couldn’t shun the alliances and social-climbing friendships that went with being a cadet. She had to prove she wanted to belong to the First Order and become a well-connected officer.

One round. She’d play one round, and she’d play to win.

“That’s my husband you’re talking about,” Rey managed to smile. She thought back to Takodana, when a nightmare figure stepped towards her through the forest. He had been quite frightening. Now? Now, she was frightened for him. This game was all apart of her plan to take him away from the darkness. She never wanted to feel the conflict in his heart again. She’d finish it. Free him to embrace what he craved.

She continued, “Alright. One game.” She held her index finger up for emphasis, “Just one and I’m out. I’ll be late for Jeglarus.”

“Yes!” McRory threw his arms up in celebration. “I knew you were good for it!” He beamed and touched Rey’s shoulder, quickly pressing her forward, towards the youthful gathering around the break table. As they neared, he jabbered on, “So, jealous you get to go to Jeglarus. If I were you, I’d blow the lot of them away. Teach them to attack our base ever again, ha.” He waved to his old friends seated at the table, “Right, you basically know everyone from class. Thompson. Yates. Madison. Ingram. Whitaker. Wait, I didn’t ask, do you know how to play?”

Rey quietly rolled her eyes.

“Pellaeon, what doesn’t lover girl know? She’s a bloody genius, man!” 

Rey shot a stern narrow gaze to a boy she knew only as Thompson. Thompson had thick eyebrows and never looked happy. If the future remained unchanged, he’d make for a grouchy Grand Moff someday. He had one arm leisurely around his girlfriend, Madison, a fellow cadet. She was pretty in a stern First Order sort of way. But very young, perhaps, thirteen. She laughed at his statement awkwardly like a secret joke that wasn’t meant to be said out loud.

“Cool it,” Yates frowned and shuffled the cards, “Are you lot playing or not?”

“Does she know how to play?” Whitaker asked with concern. He was always staring at her in class, in a gaping way that reminded her of Admiral Ackbar.

“Yes,” Rey answered, seating herself in the empty chair next to Madison. A tense second passed as McRory nudged Ingram to move so that he could sit by Rey, and Ingram muttered something vulgar and told McRory to get a chair from another table and sit by Yates. Rey waited as McRory gave a passive aggressive huff and brought a chair. Then she continued, “I’ve seen it played several times as a child. This’ll technically be my first time, but I think I can manage.”

A mix of comments filled the air, ranging from shock to sympathy. Thompson’s sour tone won out over the rest, “I’m sure McRory, Whitaker, and Ingram with be gentle with you.”

Rey narrowed her eyes, again, but grimaced politely and twisted and untwisted the chain around her neck. Yates drew her attention by shuffling the cards between his hands again.

“We play a little different from the standard casino rules,” Yates explained, “I deal the old fashioned way. The cards don’t change value. You get what you get at random.”

“Simple enough,” Rey agreed.

He silently nodded and started to deal cards for their group.

Rey waited for her cards. As soon as Yates dealt her full hand, she immediately lifted them for secret inspection. 

She was viewing and counting her cards’ number as McRory blurted, “Oh, I’m forgetting, again, I wanted to invite you all to my Nonna’s birthday party next week. I can’t remember if they sent out formal invites or not. You might get one. Either way, do come.” He sat his cards down displaying a dismal hand. No wonder he’d struck up a casual conversation.

“So, we can sip tea with Granny?” Thompson laughed but didn’t show his hand.

“Idiot, have you ever been to a Pellaeon party?” Yates frowned at Thompson, waiting for the others to count their cards. “Best whiskey I ever had.”

“Only whiskey you ever had,” Ingram muttered, sitting his cards down in complete disgust.

“There’s the shooting range,” McRory tried to sweeten the event, “And, fireworks if you ladies are into that sort of thing.”

Thompson looked at Rey and snickered. He sat his cards on the table, content with himself. Madison followed his cue but wasn’t very happy. So far, her boyfriend was winning. Who knew what sort of dares he’d imagine?

Feeling it was time, Rey sat her cards down. Whitaker instantly followed, not wanting to be left out.

The Force was with her.

She’d won.

“And the closest to twenty-three goes to Mrs. Ren,” Yates made an elegant show of waving his hand ceremoniously at her and bowing his head.

McRory immediately started clapping, and the others awkwardly mumbled congratulations. Thompson was the least pleased.

“Beginner’s luck. I don’t want to owe anything to genius,” Thompson spat. “Best two out of three.”

“She’ll be late for Jeglarus,” McRory came to her defense, before Rey could speak for herself.

“You probably paid Yates to let her win,” he shot his eyes to Yates.

“What’s the matter?” Rey stared at him boldly. “Afraid of what I’ll dare you to do on Empire Day?”

Out of the blue, Madison drew her hands to her mouth in horror. She slid her chair back, pulling Thompson’s arm in the process. He cried out in pain and confusion.

“It’s him,” Madison mumbled through her hands as though she’d seen a haunting specter. She started to shake, utterly terror-stricken.

Rey looked across the cafeteria. Standing at his impressive height, Kylo Ren seemed to meet her gaze through his helmet. He was pleased she’d finally looked up from the table and noticed his presence. He took it as an invitation.

“Would you calm the hell down?” Thompson nursed his arm. “He’s human. I don’t believe in that Force nonsense.”

When it became clear Kylo Ren was nearing their table, Madison left in the opposite direction without a word. Whitaker mumbled he’d see Rey on Empire Day and took off. The rest stayed perfectly still and silent, waiting for whatever the dark figure would do.

Kylo Ren halted behind Rey. He placed his hand possessively on her shoulder, allowing one finger to trace the material of her uniform. “My dear, we’re set to depart for Jeglarus,” Kylo Ren muttered, as pleasantly as his helmet would allow. However, Rey felt his hand tense; the involuntary action was so slight, only she’d notice the change. Something troubled him. “Whenever you’re finished…with your friends.” His quiet gaze loomed over them.

“We’ve just finished, sir,” Thompson mustered a proud, disdainful smile he thought he masked with respect.

Kylo Ren ignored the impertinent lad and waited for Rey.

“I’m ready,” she said to Ren, placing her hand on top of his, feeling the soft glove. Before she rose, she looked around the table, meeting each set of eyes, “I’ll collect my winnings, set your tasks when I get back.” 

Thompson kept his First Order smile. McRory beamed. Ingram nodded, as did Yates. She stood and laced her fingers through Ren’s. His hand radiated heat through his glove. Together they casually strolled for the nearest exit.

“Oh, Rey, don’t forget the party!” McRory called after her.

She could see the boy’s face without turning. He never stopped. She waved her hand in acknowledgement and left with Ren.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben head to the rebelling planet in Kylo Ren's TIE, piloted by Rey. Their future together and the connection between them is discussed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6.4.17 - Toiled over this one longer than I wanted/expected...necessary for the end.

“I wasn’t aware of your interest in Sabacc,” Ren said softly through his helmet. His fingers remained firmly locked between Rey’s as they strolled arm in arm down the corridor to the TIE Fighter bay.

“That was my first time, actually,” she admitted.

Ren’s tone darkened, “That one boy was a horrible cheat. I saw it from across the room. His hands weren’t slight enough.” He paused a second before breathing, “Han Solo would have blasted him under the table.”

Rey thought of irksome young Thompson and shook her head. No wonder he’d been so annoyed by her win, the cheat. She’d find something extra difficult for his dare. If only for the way he’d spoken to poor Madison, who’d had every right to be terrified, not really knowing Kylo Ren except for rumors of his power and temper. Rey was suddenly proud Ben had strived to be a gentleman towards her, even when he’d been desperate for the map and under the influence of the dark side. He’d never cursed at her.

“It worked out in the end,” Rey put the thought behind her. She’d won the game, the Force had seen to it. This year Empire Day was going to be a red-letter day for the Resistance.

“There’s so little time…” Ren began, “Perhaps when we leave here, I’ll teach you a variant of the game called Corellian Spike. I’m sure you’ve heard it…” His father’s glory days were well known throughout the galaxy. Ren forced his voice to remain strong, despite the emotion behind it, “I learned from the best.”

Rey noticed how his hand suddenly tensed again. She felt the traces of sorrow wash through his memories. How the pain of his father’s death stabbed at his heart at every opportunity. The First Order wasn’t the sort of place to heal. Here, among the same architecture and demands of Starkiller Base, he’d always be trapped by anguish and guilt.

“I’d like that,” she said audibly. Using the Force she added, _“He loved you, Ben. You can teach me and tell me how he taught you. Then we can teach the children, and the legend of it will never fade.”_

Ben stopped dead in his tracks, causing Rey to tug his hand a little in motion. The TIE pilots filtering in and out of the corridor mostly ignored them, keeping their shoulders to the wall, faces forward.

_“Children, as in orphans? Or children, as in your cadet friends?”_ He needed an answer before they went any further. He guarded his thoughts very carefully.

_“I meant the orphans. But either, really,”_ she shrugged. _“Some of the cadets aren’t so bad. Just sorely misplaced.”_

Ben silently squeezed her hand and continued their journey down the corridor. He remained unreadable until they reached his modified TIE Fighter. Rey glanced up at the ship. She likened its viewport to a crouching spider’s eye. What would it be like to pilot such a well-designed monstrosity?

“Would you like to fly, sweetheart? Or should I do the honors?” He released her hand with a squeeze and carefully opened the latch for her.

“You’d trust me with your TIE Fighter?” She prepared to climb inside.

Amusement trickled through his mask, “I trust you with my love and my life, a TIE Fighter pales in comparison.”

Rey warmed a little. Even as Kylo Ren, he certainly had a way with words.

“Alright,” she nearly laughed, but held back, “Since you trust me.”

Seating herself in the pilot’s chair, she found the comfort level much greater than expected. She quickly assumed he’d custom ordered the soft black leather. The extra gauges and instruments as well. Coming from a legacy of great pilots, Ben knew the best, and being wealthy, he had no qualms about buying it. Although the machine reeked of the First Order, metallic and clean, any flyboy in his right mind would be jealous. Compared to the poor, homely Falcon, this ship would almost pilot itself. Despite the importance of their mission and her feeling towards the First Order, Rey knew Kylo Ren’s TIE would be a joy to fly.

“You like fast ships,” he read her, taking the gunner’s chair.

“I come by it honestly,” she felt the smooth controls between her hands, “I built my own speeder so I could get to town faster. Saved me from the heat.”

“I know,” he admitted. He’d seen a glimpse of the self-engineered speeder in her mind. “I’m sorry you had to live like that for so long.”

She wanted to laugh again, this time from shock. “Don’t be. I chose to stay on Jakku. If I spent time feeling sorry for myself, I’d never get anything accomplished.”

Ben clicked his seat restraint in place. Rey felt him lean back ever so slightly. With a pleasant sigh through his mask, he added, “You know you’re remarkable? You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever known.” He paused to release another heavy breath, “I’m thankful you agreed to marry me.”

Rey released the controls, not knowing how to respond to Ben. In their unusual case, a simple “you’re welcome” seemed rather out-of-place. Instead, she kept to the truth, and replied, “It’ll be worth it…for the galaxy.” Then she busied herself with clicking and adjusting her seat restraint.

“Yes, the galaxy,” Ben muttered solemnly.

Noticing the man in uniform below was giving her the “all clear” to depart, Rey nodded to herself, boosting her self-confidence. She could do this. With a quick glance into the deep space ahead, she quickly charted the course for Jeglarus, double checked the rest of the gauges for soundness, and finally allowed the TIE to roar to life and zoom out of the hanger bay in a dazzling rush.

“Amazing,” she muttered as, with little effort, she had the TIE rocketing forward at 300 m/s.

“Isn’t it?” Ben agreed.

He gave a soft groan as she neared top speed and shifted in his seat, crossing one long leg across his knee for maximum comfort in the small space. At this rate, they’d arrive in no time. Satisfied, he relaxed his shoulders into the gunner’s seat. He hardly knew what to do with the free time. He always piloted, but once again, she never ceased to amaze him. She was the sort of girl Han Solo would have been proud to call his daughter-in-law. The thought filled him with renewed remorse for his father and Ben pawed at the latch of his helmet, suddenly having the desire to see the stars in the motion with his own eyes. They were a blur. Just like his life.

_I won’t fail_ he promised his father again. Snoke would fall. His mother would restore the Senate once more. Skywalker could continue into his golden years in peace, a monk guarding the ancient Jedi knowledge.

Rey could do whatever would make her most happy.

Ben thought of what he wanted. He actually desired very little, save to call Rey his own. He’d already traveled the galaxy, had adventures with Skywalker, the Knights of Ren, and the dark side. He had no need for fortune, nor fame. If he had her love in return, he could live out the rest of his days content. But that was just the problem. He didn’t know the way to her heart. He didn’t know much of love and hearts at all, save for the way she made him feel.

He passed his helmet idly in his hands. Skywalker had taught him the ways of the Force, but his father would have been the one with the advice on romance. Despite their distinct differences, his parents had remained happy for quite some time. Careers choices had separated them. The frequency with which Ben was increasingly pulled to the dark side had driven a sharp wedge. Han Solo couldn’t quite understand it. His mother, thanks to Luke’s wisdom, tried. Either way, Ben had never breached the subject of women with his father.

He pushed the bitter regrets away and thought beyond them, to memories of his parents and their reverie of a courtship that started with the Millennium Falcon.

He suddenly found himself asking, “Would you like to restore and remodel the Millennium Falcon?” Perhaps it was the sort of practical gift she’d appreciate. They could travel the galaxy together. Do good deeds in the name of the Force.

Distracted by the controls, Rey sounded surprised, “You’d do that for Chewie?” 

Ben paused. When he so much as thought of the Wookie his side held a phantom pain. True, Chewbacca would loyally protect them with his life. But that didn’t mean he fully forgave Ben by any stretch of the imagination.

Still, he considered, Rey always displayed a fondness for the Wookie. She might enjoy a show of unconditional kindness.

“Would it please you?” He offered.

“You’d have to ask Chewie,” she kept her eyes quietly on the stars.

Ben’s lips parted in disappointment. For the love of the Whills, he needed something to do for her after this is all over. A task to feel useful to her. A new goal to strive towards to keep the darkness at bay. Didn’t she want anything?

“You should use my money for something,” he grew unintentionally aggravated. He stared down into his dark mask, the chrome reflecting the frustration on his face. He frowned, noticing his hair looked rather flat today. He’d rushed his usual grooming routine in order to rejoin Rey. He had so little time with her every moment became precious. She seemed to have befriended the cadets rather quickly. She certainly had a way with people. A skill Ben had never managed to fine-tune.

All the more reason he was glad to have her as his wife.

He exhaled and remembered the odd sort of eureka moment when their plan fully formed in his mind. 

As he shared his best Force tricks with her on Ahch-To, many he’d held secret, he marveled at how quickly she could learn them. She needed very little instruction, only a little practice. Performing the tricks correctly filled her with a curious delight. When she was satisfied by her new abilities, she’d take a moment to look up at him and smile, so genuine and pure. Yet, underneath her beam of joy, her power felt raw and magnificent as ever. She was perfect in his eyes, equal parts breathtaking and remarkable, like a dream brought to life.

Staring into her elation, the outlandish thought crossed his mind: _I could marry this girl._

He tried to push the daydream away. It was absurd. But, afterwards, the thought plagued him for the remainder of the week. It sank into his heart and would not relent. Soon a plan weaved its way over the idea. He allowed himself to believe it was the Force guiding their destiny.

Burdened, seeking advice, and a shred of permission, he’d sought Skywalker’s council in the privacy of his humble abode. Ben stood tall, heart hammering into his ears.

_“I want to marry Rey,”_ he started. It was probably not the best place to begin, but he felt he could be very direct with his uncle.

Immediately, Luke’s mouth gaped slightly, the familiar Skywalker shock on his face. His uncle slowly lowered himself down into one of the hand carved chairs in his modest kitchen. He blinked, allowing Ben’s statement to settle in his mind. With slight disbelief, he asked, _“When did the two of you decide this?”_

_“She doesn’t know,”_ Ben interjected, his confidence suddenly ebbing away.

Skywalker closed his eyes and formed a steeple with his hands. _“Ben,”_ he sighed with mental exhaustion, his tone a warning Ben knew all too well.

He grabbed the back of a chair and quickly sat himself across from his uncle, desperate to explain. His mind raced, and his words formed in a broken rush, _“It’s not what you think…I’m going to return to the First Order and gather what information I can…with her natural power, she can help me…”_ he made a fist to steady himself, _“We both know I can’t do it alone…he knows my every weakness! Marriage is the only way Snoke will believe she’s returned with me…he knows, he sensed…my compassion for her.”_

Skywalker opened his eyes and gave Ben a silent dubious stare. It cut through him. For a second, Ben reeled, as the look spoke volumes and said so much more. His uncle knew. Skywalker knew how he felt about Rey. Was it that obvious? Well so be it. He wouldn’t be ashamed his sentiment.

_“I wouldn’t,”_ he struggled for a polite word, relaxing his fist, _“demand anything of her. She would still be your apprentice. And legally, she would benefit. I could give her everything. She’d have access to my accounts. Everything inherited from Bail Organa and the Empire. If something happened, I know Snoke might destroy me completely, in the end, she would have my trusts and annuities…she could do anything. Raise an army to protect this Temple. Rebuild the Academy. She’d be taken care of. And if we’re caught, as a married couple, there isn’t a court in the galaxy that would force us to testify against one another. It’s the best way,”_ he gripped the edge of the table, feeling the coarseness of the wood, _“In return, I only require her help.”_

Skywalker’s mouth lifted slightly. He remained incredulous, but his eyes shone with kindness. _“I see you’ve given this lots of thought.”_

In the present, Rey hit the miniaturized hyperdrive, jolting Ben from his memory.

She was good. It was a wonder she hadn’t joined the First Order Academy or the Resistance as a pilot long ago.

Ben softened his voice, “Sweetheart, you want me to buy you a ship?”

A small laugh escaped her throat, but with sweet amusement, she replied, “It would have to be a big ship, especially for a dozen Force-sensitive orphans.”

Ben allowed himself to relax into the blur of deep space around them once more. Given her encouraging response, he dared to ask, “Then you’ve decided? You’ll stay with me? When this is finished?”

Rey didn’t hesitate, “I plan to return to Luke. But you’re welcome to come. I hope you will, I want you to…We’re partners, Ben,…we get on well…and there’s the connection between us.”

“Yes,” Ben quietly agreed. Her words washed over him with a burst of renewed hope. So she would have him. Allow him to stay by her side. The thought thrilled him considerably.

With the hyperdrive engaged, Rey felt she could speak freely, “Ben, do you understand it? It feels…sometimes we’re on the same wavelength. The Force surrounds everything, but I feel you so deeply. Different from others. Sometimes I’m afraid, when I’m with you, I’m reading your thoughts without knowing it. I don’t mean to pry, it just happens.”

“Don’t be afraid, with you, I don’t mind,” he very much wished he could reach for her and wrap her in his embrace, “At one time in history it was quite common. The ancient Jedi used to call it a chain or a bond. We may be the only ones with the ability now.”

Rey took relief in his answer. She lifted her hand to feel the gem around her neck, thankful to hear the fascinating quirk had a long history. However, she wondered, “Why the two of us?”

Ben hesitated. He had several theories, most of them involving the passion and love he felt for her. But he was hardly prepared to confess his feelings, face her rejection, and continue their journey to Jeglarus. Instead, he told her the easiest truth, “Destiny, perhaps. Our ability could aid us in battle and help us defeat Snoke.”

“Should we practice?” She offered, smoothing her fingers over the gem. “So we can be sure we’re thinking the same thing in battle? Not just guessing, when it’s important?”

Ben allowed himself to smile. She wanted to strengthen the bond, a spectacular idea, and one that could bring them exceptionally closer. Yet, he knew he would have to be very careful. At times, he had thoughts that would scandalize her. She might never speak to him again.

“Yes,” he didn’t hide the thrill in his voice, “I regret not considering it before.” In preparation, he stretched his arms forward in the cramped cabin and nearly lost the balance of his helmet. He caught it and explained, “Allow me to clear my mind and focus on a single object. Tell me what you sense, and I’ll tell you if your assumption is correct.”

“Alright,” she agreed, knowing the hyperdrive would care for itself.

Ben held his breath and with quite a bit of effort, pushed all thoughts of her from his mind, followed by all thoughts in general. He only allowed something she would know and recognize to filter its way back. A single object. He held it, waiting, within the reaches of his consciousness.

“I can’t quite,” Rey attempted to block everything out, save Ben, but she found herself distracted, “…your thinking about Sabacc…” She knew there was more. “I can’t, no, I don’t see more than that.” She reluctantly admitted defeat.

Ben allowed his senses to return. He felt the cool of the leather seat and the smell of the sterile cabin. He could sense Rey’s heart and immediately knew her disappointment. The Force typically came to her naturally. She desired, so eagerly, to know and understand him. To be so attuned to him they could help one another simultaneously. Ben found himself stunned by the depth of her concern. His pulse quickened. Without meaning to, he rasped the answer, “A single card. The Queen.” She had been close. So close and he wanted her to try again. “Don’t dismay, sweetheart,” he forced his voice to sound gentle. “Practice makes perfect. We’ll get it right.”

Consequently, the two of them tried until they reached Jeglarus.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo Ren arrive on the rebelling planet. They find themselves in a position to admit mutual attraction and feelings. Fade to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6.4.17 Woah, been a long time since I 'Reylo'd' =0 
> 
> I intended to have this up "before" my move...didn't happen, didn't have Internet for a while, meantime wrote and rewrote this scene several times.
> 
> Anyhow, happy 4th, USA and happy summer so far, to all.

**[Jeglarus]**

As Rey opened the hatch of the TIE Fighter, a wall of humid night air immediately stole her breath. She was accustomed to dry heat, but the thick, heavy night air of Jeglarus felt entirely different. By the air alone a person could judge the planet was subtropical. Stepping down and touching foot on the hard floor of the military base’s open hanger, Rey felt a sheen of sweat form through her thick cadet uniform. Suddenly, she longed for the blasts of ocean wind on Ahch-To. Or she hated to admit, the icy forced air of the Battlecruiser.

Ben followed behind her, having donned his helmet once more. He peered at her silently through Kylo Ren’s mask a moment and touched his hand to her shoulder reassuringly. Before he could speak, Captain Phasma approached them, and subsequently greeted him solemnly as, “Sir.” They turned.

The Captain was by far the tallest human woman Rey had ever seen. Her armor and manner exuded First Order loyalty and sternness. From the shiny metallic chrome of the Captain’s helmet, Rey took a second to focus on the reflection she and Ren cast side by side. Although Rey felt rather intimidated, she looked the part of First Order devotee in her cadet uniform, her hand grasping Ren’s darkly clothed bicep.

Before Rey looked away from her distorted reflection, an eerie thought crossed her hyper alert-mind. She likened herself and Ren to bride and groom standing in front of a mirror, waiting on an electrical storm.

Their success or failure here could turn the tide for the Resistance.

Rey shuddered and followed Ren and Phasma’s footsteps.

Together, the three of them walked from the hanger bay. Phasma, all the while, updated Kylo Ren on every status and details of the plans in motion. The rebels were primitive, but stark diehards, fighting for their home world. An attack on the base was rumored and highly probable, but without advanced night gear, the rebels would most likely delay until dawn.

Ren’s hand locked firmly around Rey’s, as they moved down a new set of unfamiliar First Order corridor twists and turns, ending up in a dimly lit control room, monitors refreshing new information every second. The stormtroopers, TIE pilots, and gunners filtering in and out all around them were swiftly going about their orders. Rey could feel their restless energy. Everyone was charged and ready. Alert. Baited to fight. After checking several screens, Ren finally seemed to have all information he required, and he quietly dismissed Phasma. He waited a second for the Captain to turn and leave. Without anyone in close proximity, Ren took both of Rey’s hands and stared down at her.

“We mentally and physically exerted ourselves today,” his voice left no room for argument. “Would you like something other than the energy capsule you had on the ship?”

“I’m fine,” Rey gently shook her head no. She was accustomed to eating very little. With a frown, she thought of the horrid ration packs from Jakku. By comparison, the energy capsules were divine. 

He lifted one hand to her chin, searching her eyes, even in the darkness, “You’re thinking of Jakku,” he said, continuing their mind-searching practice. It had become a strange game between them, improving their unusual Force quirk. Although Rey never quite saw what he intended, she was getting closer.

“You’re thinking of food…pan fried meat thick with blood and fat,” she grimaced. It hardly sounded appetizing. 

“For stamina,” he explained, “It’s filling. The best this planet has to offer.” He paused to brush his thumb over her cheek. “However, I can hardly excuse myself and eat without you. We’ll wait. Then I’ll show you, come breakfast. If we’re able.” His last words sounded increasingly wary through his helmet. 

“Ren, don’t deny yourself,” Rey started. But he shot down her protest, “I’ll wait.” He wouldn’t argue. Rey knew his helmet muffled the words harsher than he intended. Hiding concerns that plagued him.

_“You’re thinking of the mission, the battle ahead,”_ she let him know without speaking. 

_“Yes,”_ he admitted, _“Our contact is a native Jeglarian, one of several young tribe leaders. We’ll know him by the rebel alliance tattoo inside his wrist.”_

_“We’re to meet him during the battle?”_ She questioned.

“Let me worry with that,” he forgot himself for a moment. _“I need you here. You may need to distract Armitage so I can slip away.”_

“Course,” Rey agreed. It would be easy. She’d just get Armitage to talk about his love for the First Order. Perhaps he’d brag about the secret weapon again. Let more information slip. All the better to end Ben’s torment and darkness.

“Good,” Ren slid his hands from her face and motioned for her to retake his arm and walk with him. Rey blushed as he softly added, “Let’s go to bed.”

Together, they walked silently for a time. Rey held her thoughts carefully, pushing his soft statement away, fearful of what she might accidentally conjure in her mind. She couldn’t let him know how he made her feel. She was certain her one-sided, curious fascination would only create suffering.

A slip could ruin everything.

When they finally entered Ren’s pre-assigned chamber, Rey lost her careful composure with a rush of heat returning to her face.

The room was little bigger than her closet on the Battlecruiser. It was bare basic, containing a small, neatly made bed, a metallic nightstand with drawers, a familiar pillar of ashes for Kylo Ren’s helmet, and an open door that led to the small lavatory. Rey spied her modest suitcase propped against the wall. One of the First Order underlings had carried her belongings directly to the room.

It was the bed that turned her to panic. A single bed. Rey swiftly estimated they would both fit on the standard cot with little room for turning. No different than the couch they had accidentally shared the previous night. 

To be surrounded by his strong arms, that close to the clean smell of his skin, how could she not battle her feelings all night?

“Since we slept closely before…I thought…perhaps…for appearances,” Ren’s helmeted whisper broke Rey from examining the furniture. “There are no family quarters here.” There was a tension in his voice. Slight worry, greatly varying from his concern about the battle.

One prevailing emotion held strong from his person: guilt.

Rey’s curiosity shifted. Guilt? Guilt was very peculiar.

There was no reason for him to feel guilt, unless…

“Of course,” he felt Rey’s awkward pause, and sternly second-guessed her thoughts and feelings all at once, “I can sleep in the shower. I can sleep anywhere.”

Rey surprised even herself.

“No,” she braved, knowing she should let him do as he intended. “As you said, it won’t be any different than before. Last night was…fine, Ben.”

Kylo Ren lifted his head, almost in wonder. Then his body went very still. As he reached for the latch of his helmet, Rey swore she saw his hands tremble. He struggled with it a moment and turned to place the mask on the pillar of ashes. He slammed it with gusto, sighing through his teeth with quiet anguish.

“Ben?” She wanted very badly to dive into his thoughts. She held back, knowing she shouldn’t try.

At the sound of his name, he turned back to her. Searching his statuesque face, meeting his brooding gaze, she knew she would lose herself in his ever-seeking eyes. Internally she begged the Force to aid him in finding what he sought. She couldn’t take his endless misery. With his look simmering through her again, Rey’s emotions came undone. She craved to taste his lips and feel his soft curls between her fingertips. Even with her concerns over attachment, the pull to him felt infinitely right.

Divine.

Rey couldn’t help herself.

Without caution, her heart overthrew the rest of her being.

She wanted to understand the source of his pain. Why did his gaze burn for her so?

She sought an answer. Using his words, _“Don’t be afraid, with you, I don’t mind,”_ as near permission. 

Suddenly her veiled desire returned, for somewhere in the deep reaches of Ben’s mind, he had thought of the two of them, lips locked, hands frantically searching each other’s bodies embraced on the bed. She saw little difference from her own daydream.

Although warning bells rang in her mind, her body screamed in demanding opposition, recalling every wondrous sensation from his kiss in the archive. More. She urgently wanted, needed, to understand more. To unite with him in some form, once more.

She wanted to be a Jedi, but she didn’t want to deny an emotion so pure.

What was the harm in exploring sentiment? So long as she remembered, regardless of their marriage or connection, Ben was not her possession; he did not belong to her, perhaps, she could justify the emotion. She would not forget. The thought smoothed her resolve. She only wanted to share the delightful rush and bliss of the beautiful tenderness between them. Only a moment. Nothing more.

A moment. Would he give her a moment?

She knew now, exactly, he felt it, too.

“Ben, I need to know,” she found herself boldly venturing. She stepped towards him, her head light, eyes rapidly blinking, “Since you proposed, these feelings I’ve formed…”

Lightning struck Ben’s mind. Immediately, his eyes widen with fire. His chest went tight, and he heaved for a deep breath. Hardly believing her shocking words, he rocked on his boot heels and stretched his hand on one of the narrow walls for support. He was dreaming again. Disbelief, confusion, and elation hit him in unison.

A kiss.

She was thinking of his kiss.

“Sweetheart,” he all but gasped, yet held hope, forcing his small, confident sideways smile, “Are you asking me to kiss you?”

“Y-yes,” she stepped towards him a final time and slid her hand on his chest. She tilted her head up and closed her eyes waiting to feel the sweep of his wondrous mouth once more.

A fresh energy filled Ben. All the love and attraction he’d held hidden for her broke over the levee of his soul, freeing every drop of passion he’d struggled to contain.

He’d never deny a wish from her.

He closed the gap between them in an instant, pulling her flush to him from the small of her back. Quickly he ran his glove to the nape of her neck, taking one last glance at her lips before he leaned in, closing his eyes, granting what she wanted. His own dream come true.

Although Rey felt the delicious warmth of his lips, and heat pouring, cascading down her nerves, her body shuddered. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his waist, spreading her fingers over the soft cloak at his back. As natural as could be, he deepened their kiss, his tongue stroking hers into a beautiful harmony. Rey knew she would melt and freeze simultaneously. Ben Solo. He was Jakku’s hot raging sun. He was silent flecks of chilling snow. Intense. All-consuming.

She wanted to dissolve into his being and run without limitation through the halls of his mind. Closer. She wanted to be closer. She didn’t want the connection to end.

Couldn’t she keep him forever?

“Yes, whatever you want, sweetheart,” Ben knew as he tore his mouth away. Frantically he began trailing kisses down her neck, as though his life depended on sparking her passion. He suddenly pulled at the collar of her cadet uniform, until her collarbone became exposed to his gentle words blowing across her skin, “I want to kiss you all over, and, sweetheart, I never want to stop.”

When his lips retouched her, gazing her collarbone with a blaze, Rey was content to let him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/19/17 - War, what is it good for?
> 
> Messing up Rey and Ben's lovelife ;)

**[Jeglarus: First Order Conference Room]**

 

Ben could barely stir the warm beverage.

His mind was elsewhere, and rightfully so.

He had nearly made love to his wife.

_Almost._

In their heated frenzy, they had gotten close. So very close. Moments. Seconds, heartbeats away.

He knew how many buttons her cadet uniform possessed. He knew how many kisses it took to blaze a trail across her skin. He knew the delightful feel, smell, and taste of her body.

He knew she was pleased by every light sensation. He knew the way she’d rasped his name, breathless, against his ear.

He knew how much love and desire he had for her.

He knew she was very close to feeling the same.

Indeed, Ben knew all of these things. So much so, he hadn’t sensed the officer sent to fetch them with the news.

Duty called. Damn old responsibilities, damn the First Order.

The booming knock on their chamber door was unexpected.

His soul screamed not to tear himself from her side, but he was bound. Ignoring the fact would never make the demands go away. He could only disobey so many orders and live to rage against them another day.

Quickly, he scrambled in the dark for the light. In the same instant, Rey dove herself under the blanket, her eyes full with what he thought was disappointment and fear. He didn’t know. In this moment, he couldn’t see past his own trepid emotions. Of all the moments to ruin, it had to be this one.

Ben had never growled furiously in search of his pants. There was a first time for everything. As the knock sounded again, he jerked them from the floor and jumped into them, nearly stumbling, catching his hand on the wall. His anger sizzled and clouded his senses. He’d never answered the door in such a madding haze. Or shirtless and bootless, lips swollen and hair disheveled from under her beautiful touch.

For the sake of her modesty, he’d punched the button on the door, causing it to glide shut like the bitter clenching of his jaw. Meanwhile, a beady-eyed lieutenant with a weak chin, who already looked terrified to be delivering news to the menacing Kylo Ren, cleared his nervous throat. He clearly expected a Dark Lord instead of a lover scorned by the First Order’s timing.

Quickly, Ben saw himself choking the man to death. Like all the times before, it would be all too easy. Feeling the darkness all around him, he could snuff out the man’s existence in a thoughtless instant.

He only needed a moment. 

Couldn’t the war wait a glorious moment?

Ben had waited a terribly long time to fall in love, and time, he had learned from his father’s death, was an awfully precious thing.

_His father._

That’s what this mission was about. He caught his breath, knowing he couldn’t lose sight of the fact. He couldn’t become consumed. Not again.

He paused, halting his hand before he could harm the man. The officer was mumbling away. Ben barely heard him. He formed two fists to control himself. He’d had enough death. He had to focus on the light.

Things would be different now. He was sure he had Rey’s affection, or at very least, her attention. If he could help the Resistance, end the war, and avenge his father’s death, as well as, his own wasted years, he could leave with her. They could buy that big ship for orphans and go wherever they pleased. Unbound. No orders.

It would be a truly splendid life.

Ben let the officer go.

He got the gist of the news. The rebels were on the move, even in darkness.

Consequently, he and Rey had joined Armitage and the others in the Conference Room.

He was standing in the corner of the massive war room, listening to the others drone on new details, trying to fix Rey a cup of tea, although his hands were shaking, nerves playing tricks. His already active mind raced with thoughts of dread. So much weighed on this night. The whole outlook of the war could change. He only had to pretend a little while longer.

He dropped the spoon on the marble-serving table. The sound disturbed the room.

“Damn it, Ren,” Armitage swiveled in his tall leather chair with a sharp frown, “Fix the forsaking drink or sit down. What’s gotten into you? Pigs have you terrified? Is that why you neglected to stomp them out before?”

A few of the other senior officers muffled shameless snickers and disapproving clicks of teeth. Rey, seated beside Armitage, not by choice, at a long rectangular table, paled.

Kylo Ren turned, holding the cup, and glaring at Armitage through his helmet before his eyes fell back to his dearest Rey.

By the Whills she was beautiful, even with her brows furrowed with apprehension. For the first time in their acquaintance, she had left her hair down. There hadn’t been time to style it in her usual fashion, three ponytails or just the one. With demands ticking away and their presence rapidly required, she’d helped him re-dress, pulling on his pleated sleeved shirt and under tunic, his body searing under her careful touch. Even now, he wanted to pull her across the table, throw his helmet across the room, and kiss her.

To think, moments before they had...

Instead, he sat the beverage in front of her quietly and wished he could offer her more. She hadn’t eaten. They certainly hadn’t slept.

He lifted his head to Armitage, “You may enjoy placing the blame on me, General. However, I do wonder why you, with such superior tactics, haven’t used your new weapon to simply destroy the planet in one sweep? Perhaps you’ve already discovered it’s as flawed as StarKiller Base? Perhaps it’s merely a rumor. But there must be some reason my wife and I were…” he emphasized the word with a harsh breath, “disturbed tonight.”

Armitage scowled, his cheeks turning a shade to matching his hair. Rey looked down at her teacup, embarrassed in an entirely new way, this time for real.

Another general seated at the far end of the table immediately jumped to Armitage defense. He was a thick man, Armitage’s age, but balding in front. Ren didn’t know his name, and he hardly cared.

“There are resources here needed by the First Order!” the unknown general began. “Using the Astro Garrison would be absolute overkill. You should have been able to contain this rebellion the day you arrived. You left too soon. Now they’ve rallied what’s left,” he spat.

Ren visually tensed but didn’t give the man the satisfaction of turning to face him. “I wasn’t aware my mystical presence was so vital. The Supreme Leader will be quite captivated by your testimony. You believe I could succeed in a week and half time where your men have failed for months.”

Around the table, the officers simultaneously broke out in loud objections and bitter excuses. Until finally, Armitage heard his fill. He slammed his fists on the table as he rose to his full height from his chair, accidentally knocking over Rey’s half empty cup. The semi-warm liquid spread and held its own pool at the center of the table. Everyone ignored it, save Rey, who inched her seat away.

“Enough!” Armitage sneered. “Regardless of your petty boasting, Snoke wants you at the front of the lines, terrifying them with whatever it is that you do.” He uncoiled a fist and waved his hand dismissively. He turned his face to Rey with a smug, conceited smile, “My sister and I,” he shot Ren a proud glance, “Will torture the prisoner. Everyone else has their orders.”

“Prisoner?” Ren quickly demanded, unaware.

“Course,” Armitage shook his head incredulous, “Didn’t Perkins explain when he was ordered to fetch you? No matter. They caught some pig sniffing around your TIE Fighter, poorly disguised as a stormtrooper, much too short. He’s rather young, but his tribal markings indicate he’s one of their leaders. Probably full of valuable information, wouldn’t you agree?”

Rey and Ben knew at once, in all likelihood, their seemingly overeager rebel contact had been easily captured.

Ben’s heart fell. He’d been beautifully distracted. He hadn’t sensed. He didn’t feel himself tonight.

Trying to stall, Kylo Ren shot back, “I brought her here with Snoke’s permission to show the rebels exactly what she’s capable.”

“Yes, well,” Armitage protectively clamped his hand on Rey’s shoulder. She struggled to keep her face even, leveling out her discomfort in front of the table full of scrutinizing First Order eyes. She looked to Ren, repeatedly blinking to hold her focus. Armitage continued, “In her condition, the front line won’t do. I’m sure Leader Snoke would agree her talents are more useful here on base, especially with such a valuable prisoner. And unlike you,” his lips lifted triumphantly, “I’m of a mind to protect my family.”

Rey’s mouth gaped, she made to speak, but it was hardly time to correct Armitage and confess the truth. Not when he trusted her, and wanted, strangely enough, to protect her. Staying on his side was key. If he cared so very much, surely she could get him to tell her more about the Astro Garrison. Namely, the new weapon’s location.

Patience breaking, Kylo Ren took an instant, threatening step forward. Several lesser officers, fledgling admirals, and colonels kicked their chairs away from the table, knowing Kylo Ren’s tempestuous reputation and the terrifying stories of his grandfather’s dark power. Armitage, however, stood very still. He had long ago realized that Kylo Ren could do very little to a general. Under Snoke’s favoritism and protection, he still had the upper hand.

Rey, watching the scene unfold, could feel the fear, hatred, and conflict flowing through everyone. Ben especially. His mind was a cage holding back a feral animal. Angered over his orders, offended by her brother’s cruel jeer, he remained powerless to stop the turn of events. Their mission could be thwarted if he acted. He would be defeated by principal if he didn’t.

_“I’ll go with him,”_ she tried to ease his mind, _“And see if he’s our rebel contact. We’ll figure out something, find someone else to pass the disk.”_

Ben didn’t like the idea. He loathed being separated from her. Leaving her alone to assist their cause on the Battlecruiser was one thing. The Resistance knew of her mission and location there. The final battle, wherever it took place, would be intense, but Ben knew he would be there when they finished Snoke, at Rey’s side, every step of the way. This, however, was a chaotic war zone. Unpredictable. A single blast could mean causalities for both sides.

She was strong in the Force as she was beautiful, but taking unnecessary risks was tempting fate.

He couldn’t lose her. No, too much could go wrong.

He’d taken her under his wing. Yet, he could only reach so far.

Why hadn’t he stopped to consider?

He should have left her to her Academy friends. At least she was safe there. His poor judgment, his need to have her near, was risking her life and endangering the entire mission.

He clenched his jaw in frustration. Breathed once, twice again, through his helmet, because he knew his orders from Snoke. His presence was required on the front lines. Knowing what Armitage and the others believed about Rey, he couldn’t bring her there, even if her chances were better at his side.

She’d have to stay. Else, he’d have the reputation as the worst father-to-be in the history of the Skywalker Solo legacy.

_“Ben,”_ she was filtering through his mind again. Calming him as no one else could.

_“Rey, I need to tell you…,”_ his heart, his emotions, were too much to contain even in a room full of strangers and the ever vengeful General Hux.

Before he could finish, the power blinked, faded an instant, and regenerated weakly before returning to full strength. Alarms sounded.

“The idiots are trying to cut the power,” a graying lady colonel wheezed through her teeth.

The time for action was at hand.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to get the prisoner, their Resistance contact, the information Ben recorded. Nothing goes as planned. Ben, in disguise, finds her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9.13.17 - Long, but super overdue update. Woulda had this up sooner, but I kept rewriting it, still not super happy with it, but I'm ready to move them on and off Jeglarus soon.
> 
> I like secret-stormtrooper Ben Solo ;)

She could do this.

Rey stood outside the door of the small interrogation cell, waiting to enter.

Directly behind her, Armitage was quietly standing in the middle of the corridor, arms folded, watching the back of her head as she stalled. He was waiting for her to take, as he had casually put it, her turn with the prisoner. Now that Armitage was content with his part of the torture, he would allow her to work her mysterious power alone.

Rey was thankful Kylo Ren had always worked, as his real name implied, _solo_ , giving her the opportunity to do the same. She wasn’t going to hurt the prisoner. Armitage, scarcely believing in the Force, would never know the difference.

She tried to think of Master Skywalker’s lesson. How he quoted his master, Yoda, in so many words. _“Keep your mind on where you are. What you’re doing.”_

A task that was easier said than done at the moment. She breathed, knowing exhaustion was getting the better of her. On Jakku, she’d been early to bed and early to rise. On the Resistance base and Ahch-To, her schedule had been much the same. Had she ever been up this late? This long? And considering everything, the excitement, both from the impending battle and Ben. Amazing Ben. Her mind kept racing.

There was a first time for _everything._

It had been the understatement of the extremely long day: waking in Ben’s arms, her Academy interview with McRory and Armitage, alerting the Resistance of a new weapon, Ben’s dynamic show, training, packing, a winning game of Sabacc, piloting Kylo Ren’s TIE Tighter, and of course, admitting her feelings.

Her distracted mind kept reflecting back to thoughts of Ben. _Ben!_ Like a magnet. _Ben._ How excellent and wondrous he was. How he had kissed her! How nothing was finer than being in his arms. _Ben._ He was still such a mystery. A mystery she very much wanted to completely unravel.

How could she ever get him out of her head?

Did she want to?

She didn’t have the time to stop and consider.

Not even with the way he’d embraced her at their parting in the conference room, as the lights and generators struggled to maintain all systems. He’d wrapped her in his arms, and silently consoled her, _“The Force is with us.”_ He was guarded. There was something else he wanted to tell her. She could sense that much from his emotions. But he was waiting, seeking a better moment. He had to leave. By now, she knew he was probably at the frontline. Most likely commanding a menacing AT-M6. Forced to kill the very people they wanted so desperately to help.

Rey inhaled a deep breath and entered the interrogation cell. Her boot heels sounding on the floor. She was immediately hit by how dark and narrow in comparison the room appeared to her memory of StarKiller Base, which had been First Order bright and clean. 

The room smelt of body odor. As the door slid shut behind her, she noticed the temperature was overly warm, making her uncomfortable once again in her cadet uniform. As she took another step, she noticed how dingy the tile appeared, most likely from the dried blood of prisoners long gone. The further she walked the more frequent her boots stuck each time she lifted them. She forced herself not to dwell on the idea less she sense the pain that emanated around the room of past horrors.

Approaching the figure clamped in the chair, bright light shining on his downy tribal marked face, Rey’s mind filled with the memory of the once nightmarish Kylo Ren unfastening her restraints with a casual wave of his hand. The action had shocked her, but she’d been grateful.

She decided at once to do the same.

Free to move, the man’s hands flew to his bleeding, busted lip. He was humanoid. Yet, Rey saw why McRory and Armitage had called his species pigs. He resembled a wild boar with two bright white tusks protruding on either side of his long, coarse bristle covered face. His ears were folded and pierced with multiple metallic rings. Colorful, fluorescent ink streaked his cheeks and forehead in a language Rey did not recognize.

With a hoarse voice, he swore in broken Basic and glared at Rey through bruised, swollen eyes.

“I’m Rey,” she said, hoping he would know the name from the Resistance. When he showed no sign of recognition, she added, “Solo.”

The man drew his hands away from his lips, relaxing ever so slightly. His eyes remained skeptical. In his thick accent, he questioned, “Ben Solo? The Force?”

“Yes,” Rey smiled at once, grateful the Force was seeing them through. “I’m Ben’s wife. Do you by any chance have a tattoo on your wrist?” She displayed her wrist with a small turn for emphasis. 

Feeling he could trust her at the mention of Ben’s name, he lifted his hands, both palms upward. Rey spied double black-inked Rebel Alliance symbols, one facing up, and one facing down. Ben had only mentioned the one. Perhaps the Resistance had not described the markings in enough detail. Either way, for what it was worth, she was sure this was their contact.

She frowned, if only they could have prevented his capture. But she couldn’t lose hope. Her mind recalled her flight from Kylo Ren’s own interrogation room. He’d left, and she’d had the opportunity to escape. Perhaps, if they were careful, she could retrieve the disk, and still help this man aid the Resistance. They needed more victories, and fast, before the Astro Garrison was complete.

“I’m going to help you,” she assured the prisoner. “Ben’s here. I can get you the disk, but I’ll have to leave you a moment. If you can hold up against the General, I can help you escape.”

“Against General, escape?” He repeated in a curious tone. An eyebrow lifted at the idea.

“Yes,” Rey nodded, “I’ll return to you in a moment.” She bowed her head respectfully and turned with another deep breath. She realized, first off, she’d have to face Armitage with a clever fib.

As she expected, Armitage was still waiting eagerly at the other side of the door. His face bore a zealous question, wanting every single awful detail of her experience. With such a keen look on his face, the idea dawned on Rey that they might have been sharing something personal, acting like typical brothers and sisters with a shared secret. Rey refused to let the thought break her heart. It could never be. This was business. A horrible transaction with a man completely lost to his fervor for the superiority of the First Order.

“He’s close to breaking mentally,” she lied with a long sigh, giving the Force time to settle her nerves. “He seems terrified at the thought of Jedi weapons. I’m going to retrieve my lightsaber from Ren’s personal quarters and see what I can get from him.”

Armitage’s face fell with disappointment so quick he looked momentarily aghast at her failure. His features soon morphed into annoyance. He was accustomed to Kylo Ren getting the information they sought in one rapid sweep of his power. Rey knew the fact irked the General and that he very much wanted her to replace Kylo Ren in all things mystical. 

Armitage forced his First Order sternness to return with a sour and brisk, “See that you do, Cadet.”

Rey didn’t need to be told twice. She gave a weary nod and turned to march back to Kylo Ren’s private quarters, stepping out of Armitage’s range of vision as speedily as she could manage without drawing significant attention to herself. Desperate to help the Resistance in any way she could, Rey rushed through a steady stream of petty officers and stormtroopers, many freshly woken to return to their stations and lock down the surround areas. Alarms were sounding down every corridor. The fight was getting closer. The announcements overhead declared the battle could reach the base within the hour. She could feel the dizzying array of emotions stirring through the Force. So much horrendous fear. The one thing both sides shared this terrible night.

Rey felt her heart rate increase through the turmoil and voices crying out and suddenly silenced. Still moving forward, she fought past her own understanding. She couldn’t give into despair. Not now. She suddenly forwent the elevator to the barracks and ran up the stairwell, needing an outlet for the energy her heart, the adrenaline, supplied her body. How could she want to collapse, yet at the same time, feel restless and aching as everything was out of her power?

Returning to their chamber did little to calm her. She forced her eyes away from the unmade bed. The passion she had shared with Ben!

With trembling hands, she rushed to the nightstand and opened the drawer in search of her lightsaber and the disk. She clipped the weapon to her belt and searched again. The disk was nowhere to found.

During their moment together, Rey had watched, breathless, as Ben had carefully removed the disk from the inner pocket of his tunic. He’d reached for a spot over his heart, and placed it in a drawer before hastily removing each layer of his clothing. Rey, her nerves on fire from the hot trails of his kiss, had patiently waited for him on the bed, hardly believing her eyes as he smiled quietly back at her. She had gotten exactly what she daydreamed.

Until it had ended abruptly. She knew there was more. As she stared at his beautiful body posed above her, his gaze had been wide and seeking in an entirely new way, drinking her in, though his face bore a strange anguish. At one point, she knew he was in sheer torment.

She’d wondered, whispered, stroking the scar on his face, _“Ben, what’s wrong?”_

_“I want you so much…sweetheart, I’m holding back,”_ he’d kissed her and continued.

Holding back.

She had wanted to shout, _“Don’t hold back!”_ As intense and furious as he had told her during their training earlier in the day.

But the knock on the door had sounded. She couldn’t remember how they had gotten dressed so quickly. Or if Ben had replaced the item over his heart before they rushed to the conference room.

What was she going to do?

“Keep your mind on what you’re doing,” she reminded herself, Luke’s voice in her memory.

If she couldn’t get the prisoner the disk they originally intended, perhaps she could gather information that was just as useful. The idea settled over her. She would have to be careful. And quick. With the whole base distracted by the alerts, it should be easy.

As she dashed back into the corridor, past the doors leading to rooms for officers, and through the halls that led to the common barracks, the Force fortuned her lucky. A lone, weak-minded stormtrooper stood idle, stalling, pretending to look over his weapon instead of joining his division. With little effort, Rey approached him with the Jedi mind trick on her mind.

“You will use your key card and access the conference room.” She insisted.

He tilted his head. There was always a moment, even now, when Rey held her breath, concerned if the gentle persuasion would work properly.

Finally, almost robotic, the stormtrooper repeated, “I will use my key card and access the conference room.” He turned his heels in the right direction. As natural as could be, Rey followed him. An outsider would assume they were touring the halls, riding down the elevator, as friends.

Soon, with the door to the conference room open, Rey dismissed her easy target, “You will rejoin your division and not fear.”

“I will rejoin my division and not fear,” he saluted Rey and left, marching off to battle. Rey hoped he would find, and in some way, aid Ben.

Alone in the open conference room, Rey scrambled. She rushed to plunder through every drawer and cabinet looking for anything useful. Finding a stack of disks, she didn’t hesitate to logon to the system, once again forced to scroll the elegant loops of the name “Kylo Ren” on the screen to gain entry. Once inserted, the data began transferring slowly. Too slowly for the best network in the galaxy. Rey, already tired and on-edge, reacted to every click and sound of the buzzing, turning, recording disk. Until a sound was truly cause for alarm.

“What are you doing in here?” The balding General from before demanded.

Rey spun, blocking the screen downloading information behind her. Suddenly her lightsaber felt heavy on her hip. The unnamed General was blocking her path, trapping her in the corner.

“Helping Armitage,” she tried to stall for a half-truth from a certain point of view.

“Armitage,” he seemed to grow wider and taller with self-importance, “Has been waiting for you to return and torture the prisoner.”

“I-I,” Rey started.

He didn’t let her finish. “You’re copying sensitive information. Even as Armitage’s sister and Kylo Ren’s,” he looked like he could barely say the word, “wife, you don’t have clearance for that.” His lips lifted in a knowing smile, proud he’d caught her. Delighted he’d have a reason to embarrass and punish her.

“I-I,” she thought fast, the word clearance reminding her of the terminology in her digital textbooks, “I just wanted to impress my friends for Empire Day!” She took a giant step back, her body shielding the still spinning disk. She didn’t want to hurt the nameless General before her. She couldn’t draw that much notice, nor explain a fight, or even worse, death. But if he took one step closer, she would have to make a decision. Act and fight or stand and be seized. “No one knows where the Astro Garrison is located!” She cried, “I wanted to be the first!”

“Empire Day?” His shoulders lowered with slight ease. At once, he saw her as less of a criminal and more of a foolish, but innocent child. Recalling his own cadet training during the early days of the First Order, he knew all about the pranks that occurred on Empire Day. He rolled his eyes a little, speaking to her as an unruly teenage girl, “Let those with experience worry about the Astro Garrison, my dear.”

“But the rebels, the Resistance! What about the Death Star II and StarKiller Base? How can my classmates be sure we’ll have a position on the Astro Garrison if we know nothing about it?!” She shook her head furiously, wanting to let tears flow from fatigue and frustration. She needed the information. There was no getting out of this one with a sensible explanation.

“Calm down,” the General motioned with his hands. The last thing he wanted to see was a crying teenage girl. He knew from rumors Rey was in a delicate position no thanks to the notorious Kylo Ren. “The Astro Garrison is quite safe. It’s…” he considered his choice of words carefully, “better protected than Death Star II and StarKiller Base. Blends well. And,” he almost had sympathy for her now, “Your brother will ensure you have an active role upon graduation. He’s quite proud of you, you know.”

_Proud_ , Rey smiled to herself. At least one part of the mission was going according to plan.

Until the base rattled and shook violently from a terrible explosion of force that rang through the levels. The conference room table was bolted to the floor, but the chairs rolled and crashed against the walls. Rey grabbed the side of the monitor’s station and held tight as the power, at last, failed completely. The lights buzzed, overtaxed for a second, before they faded into darkness. The computer systems died. Rey’s disk, her high-hopes, became trapped inside the machine mid-download. There was no retrieving the information now.

A string of chaos ensued. Shouts from the corridor. Boots hitting the floor in a panicked run.

The finally-sympathetic General scrambled to find the portable synthetic light included in his belt utilities. In between his loud mouth breathing he cursed and dropped the light before he could find the right button. Rey saw an excuse to ignite her lightsaber, casting a blue glow around the room. She knew without the alarms, feeling the pulse from the Force, the rebels were piling into the base, their fears high but victory within their reach. Wherever he was, Ben was succeeding in his sabotage.

The base rattled again. The General dropped to all fours and covered his head, all the while shouting, “Don’t just stand there! Turn that ancient thing off and get under the table! Shield yourself!”

Rey, reluctantly, did as she was told, playing the role of loyal cadet and anxious, expectant mother. She curled herself into a ball on her elbows and knees, counting the blasts. First five, then twelve, all varying in strength and closeness. The chairs continued to roll and crash around the room, slamming into the table legs instead of reaching her. She didn’t see, but heard, a few of the processors and monitors fly off their stations. Destroyed forever.

_“Ben,”_ she reached through the Force, _“Tell me your safe. I wish we were together in this.”_

Soon, the blasts halted. Rey wasn’t sure if she should be worried or grateful. Meanwhile, the nameless General crawled towards her under the table.

“Don’t worry, my dear,” he spoke in a nervous broken whisper, “I sent out an emergency distress signal. Someone will be here to rescue us soon, very soon. Everything will be fine. There’s no, no reason to worry.”

It was Rey’s turn to roll her eyes at him. Instead, she kept her face tucked to the floor.

Momentarily, two stormtroopers, their night vision activated, blasters drawn, entered the doorway. The General quickly pulled himself, and Rey along with him, out from under the table to face their small rescue party.

The first stormtrooper stepped towards them. Clearly in charge of the situation, he began ensuring they were unharmed from the blasts. Through the Force, Rey recognized him immediately as her weak-minded escort from before. Apparently, he hadn’t gone far, although his posture and attitude had changed dramatically thanks to her clever inspiration.

Rey paused, her mind lingering over the second stormtrooper. There was something about him Rey found eerily familiar as well. His thoughts seemed empty.

“Everyone unharmed in here?” The first one questioned, stating the obvious.

The General swore, wiped his sweaty brow, and demanded the status of the battle.

“Sir,” the first stormtrooper tried to remain respectful while talking all at once, “We’ve been blasted from the inside. We’ve sealed off the entire east side, but they've broken through barriers three and four. They just keep coming. It’s like they’ve gained new forces, had help from somewhere else. We regret to inform you, the prisoner has escaped with General Hux as his hostage. The whole base is in turmoil! Our orders from Kylo Ren are we’re to take the girl and evacuate the planet.”

Rey stopped him right there, “Hux! My brother's been captured?”

The active stormtrooper, turned to her, “Yes, ma’am. Apparently, the prisoner managed to overtake General Hux in the interrogation cell and use his blaster against him. They’ve taken him to their village. They’re demanding a ceasefire in exchange for his release.”

Rey thought fast. She suddenly remembered she’d left the prisoner’s hands unbound. When Armitage re-entered the room, he was most likely overpowered by the tribal warrior’s brute strength. She frowned, tension pounding at her temples. The entire mission was going haywire. She couldn’t leave the planet without Armitage. Not when he knew so much about the Astro Garrison and was so close to trusting her. She couldn’t go back to square one. She was working to free Ben from his darkness!

“Where’s Ren?” She demanded.

“I’m not privy to that information, I’m only following orders,” the first trooper shook his head. 

Rey noticed the second stormtrooper remained silent as the grave. There was something odd about him. Why couldn’t she read him?

“I don’t follow orders from Kylo Ren, but given the situation, the danger, the fighting’s getting closer, I agree to oversee this evacuation. I mean, for the sake of the girl. Poor Hux is as good as dead,” the General clenched his portable synthetic light, a solemn look of disappointment washing over his face. His voice struggled against becoming emotional. “Hux would never allow them to bargain his life for anything. He so loved the Order.”

Rey, listening to the General go on, found herself still drawn to the second stormtrooper. She noticed how quiet he remained. Silent. His body almost trained to be perfectly still and mindful. He was very tall.

“Come along,” the first trooper motioned confidently, “We’ll see that you both safely board a shuttle.”

“I rather thought I’d be piloting Kylo Ren’s TIE back to the Battlecrusier,” Rey crossed her arms with defiance. She wasn’t going anywhere with them. No matter what Ren said. The mission here wasn’t over. If anything, the plan was so diverged from their original intentions it was unrecognizable. It required guidance. Seeing it through, no matter how flawed, was key.

_“I need you to be safe,”_ Ben’s emotions slipped.

“My orders are,” the vocal stormtrooper repeated robotically.

Rey shook her head, “You will go along,” she fought, allowing the words to settle into his mind, although this time he was resisting her. She almost felt sorry for him. The poor man had two voices giving commands in his head. She pointed to the second stormtrooper, “He will accompany me.”

“I will go along,” the trooper quickly motioned for the General to leave with him, “He will accompany you.” He turned and marched from the room with extra military prestige.

Rey watched the General step into the door frame. She turned to the second stormtrooper, staring into the dark void of his eye lenses.

“My dear girl,” the General looked over his shoulder when he noticed Rey hadn’t followed directly behind him, “Don’t dawdle. Now that your brother’s gone, I will take it as my personal, duty-bound responsibility to see what you make it to your destination completely unharmed.”

Rey forced an awkward smile. She had hoped to have an audible word alone with the silent, tall, sneaky stormtrooper before her. Instead, she nodded and followed her new bald friend, “I’m honored. It warms my heart how you hold Armitage in such high esteem.”

Her new General friend then launched into a long story about how he and Armitage had known each other since childhood. Completely self-absorbed, Rey knew it was a good time to reach out to Ben.

_“Nice uniform,”_ her eyes secretly darted over the stormtrooper who was quick to stride beside her. _“Did you start at the bottom when you joined the First Order?”_

_“You’re getting better at sensing my presence,”_ Ben said with soft amusement in his voice, although the stormtrooper helmet betraying nothing. Walking silently next to her, he added, _“Sweetheart, you knew I couldn’t stay away from you for long. Now that the rebels are in, the fighting will only get worse. I regret bringing you here. I’d like for you to return to the Battlecrusier.”_

_“Ben, you’ve forgotten, I married you to fight,”_ Rey pretended to nod at whatever the nameless General was saying about Armitage. She wasn’t afraid. She regretted nothing.

Their party halted a mere second. The now-confident lead stormtrooper opened a keycard only stairwell. The General stepped down, holding his light above his head with his shaking hands. Rey cautiously followed. In the shadows, Ben grabbed Rey’s hand to steady her into the decline. Even through the foreign glove, Rey felt the spark between them. She could feel her heart beat. Ben felt it, too.

_“And here I thought you were ready to admit you find me irresistibly handsome,”_ he squeezed her fingers tightly. More urgently, he continued, _“I regret things haven’t gone according to plan. I barely managed to slip away from the frontline undetected and help them cripple the power once and for all. But I’m grateful you had an excuse to distract Armitage. Letting the prisoner go, unbinding his hands was a stroke of genius, sweetheart. One of the many reasons we’ll always make the perfect team.”_

Rey stumbled over her own feet. The General noticed. 

“Cadet? My dear girl, are you quite alright?” The General asked, turning the light directly on her face.

Squinting, she nodded, but her mind remained far away. “Your words,” Rey stopped before her lack of an answer became awkward, “I can’t help it. I can’t believe Armitage has been captured.”

The General began another long dramatic story about Armitage. Rey ignored him, listening to Ben.

_“Good riddance,”_ Ben replied to her statement with no remorse. He helped her down the last set of stairs, _“One less blaster at our backs when we finally defeat Snoke.”_

Rey shot Ben a hard look. She wished he understood how Armitage’s capture actually hindered their mission. Or at least, her plan to deliver the exact location of the Astro Garrison to the Resistance and free him to explore the light side of the Force. Furthermore, although Armitage was diabolical, spiteful, and ruthless, they shared a connection, no matter how dysfunctional. Rey hated the Order, and couldn’t wait for its fall. Yet, in her mind, she dreamed Armitage, McRory, and her other classmates would face justice through the proper court systems the Resistance would restore to the galaxy. 

Looking at Ben, even though she was peering into the lenses of a stormtrooper’s helmet, she felt now more than ever, the others needed the opportunity to reevaluate their lives, pay their debt to the galaxy, and broaden their way of thinking. Finn’s change of heart had come about suddenly. Ben had wrestled with his own thoughts for months. What would it be like, she wondered, if the friends she made here could remain her friends? If, maybe, one day, Armitage could find the sentiment within himself to truly be her brother and not merely a pawn in someone else’s war games?

Rey held firm, _“We need him, Ben. When I agreed to marry you, meeting him, using him for information was apart of our plan.”_

He was reading her mind again, _”You think the best of everyone. So like my uncle and his teachings. Such beautiful ideals are dangerous, Rey. Not everyone has conflict within and can change and thrive.”_

The nameless General cleared his throat, staring at her as she stared at Ben. Apparently, Rey had forgotten to answer him in time. The General’s eyes darted to her hand rested in Ben’s stormtrooper glove. Quickly, remembering their act, cadet and stormtrooper, Rey pulled her hand away from Ben. For a mere second, Ben minded. His helmet tipped with obvious disappointment.

“People are always taking my hand,” Rey muttered with annoyance, covering their tracks.

The General shot undercover Ben a smug look, but Rey could tell by the anxious shaking of his hands as he held the light, he wore the confidence thinly. He frowned, “As I was saying, I’ve known Armitage since before you were born. Your loyalty to your brother serves you well, but Armitage would rather die than lose a battle.”

“But,” Rey protested. She had no desire to hide, what they would call, her mystical power, “I can feel it. We’ve already lost, General. You’d forsake Armitage die for no reason?”

“I told you, my dear, please, call me Thompson,” he took her hand and Rey could feel Ben seethe with a barely controlled surge of hatred. As Ben physically tensed, he made a fist at his side before remembering his disguise. The General noticed for only the briefest of seconds, but let the gesture pass. “Now,” General Thompson continued, “Armitage, first and foremost, would want you to take care of yourself and his nephew or niece. He’s fairly resourceful. I’m sure he won’t die like a coward. Come now, we need to leave. Get that door open, man.” He pulled on her hand, forcing her forward. She didn’t have a moment to consider the family connection between the General and her cheating classmate.

The lead stormtrooper swiped his key card and opened the ground door, taking them into the abandoned hanger bay, the majority of the ships in action elsewhere. Once more, the humid night air filled Rey’s lungs and slammed over her skin. Immediately, she noticed the night sky was a blazing shade of dull orange lit by jungle fires and raging damage to the base. No sunset was this violent. Still being pulled forward by General Thompson, Rey reluctantly neared the shuttle that would take her back to the Battlecruiser.

_”Rey, stop!”_ Ben suddenly knew.

But it was too late.

“Hold it there, scum,” a native Jeglarian rebel slurred in broken Basic as he and seven of his comrades, guns drawn, war paint on their faces, stepped out from behind the shuttle they were trying to steal.

Taken by surprise, their party of four quickly became surrounded.

“Don’t just stand there, do something! Do you have any idea what they do to officers they capture?” General Thompson yelled at the lead stormtrooper and Ben, as he shielded himself behind Rey.

Rey looked to Ben.

What could they do? They were stuck on the wrong side.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben thinks back to the past, namely his part of the ground mission and the day he asked Rey to marry him (thanks in part to a porg).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10.14.17 How 'bout that trailer!!
> 
> Stalling, hopefully more present action next chapter.

_“This was not how I thought this mission was going to go,”_ Ben mentally sighed. He shifted his feet and straightened his back against the wall of the cramped, overcrowded cell of the stolen Command Shuttle.

A lifetime ago he had placed Rey’s unconscious figure in such a cell, laying her across the narrow bench. He had looked upon her, unable to cast his eyes away and turn and seal the door. Something greater than himself compelled him not to leave, a cord knotting him with the light side of the Force. She had been as beautiful then as she was now. He had felt a pang of guilt over his ungentlemanly behavior, remembering, despite his best efforts to subdue them, his mother’s lessons from childhood. He promised himself when they reached StarKiller Base he would treat her as his guest.

In the present, Rey read him carefully as she silently peered into the depths of the lenses of his stormtrooper disguise, _“You’re forming a plan.”_ Sitting on the floor of the cell, she held her head with her hands, trying to stay awake. _“One to save us and Armitage that won’t blow our cover?”_

She was tired. Ben felt apologetic, but not regretful, for keeping her up all night. After the mention of her feelings, he hadn’t been able to keep himself from expressing his passion for her. Not after wanting the honor of her attention for such an eternity. After they escaped, with a nap, and a hot bath, he’d show her exactly how he felt about her. From the strains of her hair to the tips of her toes, exploring every spark between them.

He shifted again. As a whole, the mission on Jeglarus had succeeded. Even if, at the moment, they found themselves, General what’s-his-name, and a random stormtrooper, stuck in a First Order shuttle holding cell bound for one of the tribal camps. Most likely the same camp the rebels had dragged Armitage to by the tuffs of his orange hair.

Therein laid Ben’s plan. Although Armitage had been a thorn in Ben’s side, desperately trying to outwit him in front of Snoke for years, they would have to rescue him. Rey wouldn’t have it any other way. Personal rivalries aside, Ben understood now, more than ever, the intricate complexities of family. He loved Rey’s compassion, even if he feared it would lead her into harm’s way.

He could get them out of this. He knew he could. But the moment had to be right. He couldn’t risk the rebels seeing his face and blowing their cover by shouting their good-humored, _”Ben Solo! The Force!”_

True, the old Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, would have cut their First Order friends down and been done with the whole ordeal already. General What’s-his-name was a notorious whiner. However, that was in the past. He no longer allowed his darkness the free range to play judge and jury. He had promised his father, and himself, no more killing unless absolutely necessary. _Snoke’s defeat._ That was the only death he craved. Justice for the wrongs of the galaxy. The others? There would be time enough for war trials soon enough. His mother was an expert on the matter. He was certain she would handle it with great care.

_“Yes,”_ he answered. He stared at her hands, longing to take them into his own. _“I’m going to get us all out of here. When we reach the village, I’ll take off on my own, ditch this disguise, and find a way to free everyone…including your brother, as Kylo Ren.”_

_“Thank you, Ben,”_ Rey fought to keep her eyes opened, _“The disk’s still over your heart. Maybe…maybe we can still get the information to them.”_

_“Try to rest, sweetheart,”_ Ben wished he could hold her. Pretending to be disinterested in front of the General and the weak-minded stormtrooper was only making him more aware of her. Slow torture, now that he knew she enjoyed their embraces, too. _“We’re still a way’s from their village.”_ And with the slow, fumbling way the rebels flew the ship they had no experience with, it would likely take the rest of the waning night. Fortunate for them, the shuttle could nearly pilot itself.

As she allowed her eyes to close, he felt her beseech the Force for the right moment.

Ben thought back. On the battlefront, he had needed the right moment to wreck the AT-M6 he commanded, as well. His sabotage had needed to appear like an accident. Walking into another AT-M6 had to look like a random happening of war. The right moment had taken its sweet course, causing the deaths of more rebels than he ever intended. Presently, he sighed again, and forced himself not to dwell on the past and events he could not control. 

When he had escaped the wreckage of the AT-M6 with the armor of a deceased stormtrooper on his back, he’d ran, following the river, deeper into the humid jungle. Officers watching amidst their scattered divisions assumed he was an average solider turned coward. Anger got the better of them as they fire on him out of frustration and spite. When he reached the hydro-cell that powered the base, he’d again dodged blasters for only a second before he ignited his lightsaber, allowing the native Jeglarians to recognize him as _Ben Solo. The Force._ The secret savior they’d heard so much about from their Resistance leaders. _“You will know him by his fiery red blade.”_

In regards to the hydro-cell they hoped to destroy, the rebels had already completed most of the work. They braved the water rapids, dug the hydro-cell from the river rocks, and even heaved it to the side of the riverbank. Regrettably, their primitive tools and stolen blasters couldn’t sever the power source’s core. But a lightsaber could.

Swinging the blade high, Ben had felt triumphant. He’d see how the First Order liked the battle without power or proper communication. The fight would finally be an even match.

He’d barely had a moment to let the feeling of satisfaction sink in before, remarkably, he watched as one of the outer walls of the base erupted, lighting up the night sky with its uncommon force throwing debris across the landscape. He knew all too well. Someone had set off a thermal detonator from the inside.

The rebels surrounding the hydro-cell cheered and danced wildly at the sight of the blast. An outspoken friend on his left proudly informed him one of their warriors had purposely allowed himself to be captured with the scheme of destroying the base from the inside out. Ben knew immediately, the friend spoke of his and Rey’s Resistance contact. The prisoner. It was a brilliant tactic. One Armitage’s pride would definitely overlook.

Yet, in the horrifying moment, _Rey_ had been the only thought on his mind. All of a sudden he felt the blood drain from his face, a cold sweat coming over him.

He knew from their mysterious connection she wasn’t dead. He’d be crushed with overwhelming pain if that hell ever enveloped him. However, the memory of his father’s words seemed to play over in his head, _“You might even love her as much as I love your mother.”_

He loved Rey. And he hadn’t even had the courage to tell her.

The Force sustained him as his raging heart cried out, guiding him to act. He ran, grabbing the reigns of one of the rebels’ pack animals. He leapt on, and instinctively kicked his boots into the animal’s side to plea the beast to race across the battlefield.

Tons of friendly fire from rebels who didn’t recognize him later, he made his way back to the base. Quickly, he’d encountered a lone, weak-minded stormtrooper full of delusions of grandeur. The perfect pawn and mouthpiece for his bidding. After a complete, quick sweep of his mind, the last update involving Hux’s capture and the prisoner’s escape, Ben was ready to find Rey.

Just then she’d reached for him _“Ben, tell me your safe. I wish we were together in this.”_

He had vowed never to deny a wish from her. But he would have to delay that wish for now. He couldn’t lose her. If anyone was dying on this mission, it was him. He had to get her back to the Battlecruiser. Back to her First Order lessons, friends, and the webs of gossip, secrets, and intrigue that were critical but physically safe.

Or that had been his first plan anyways. Before he had sensed the stray band of rebels a little too late.

What was wrong with him?

His focus had been off from the moment Rey had confirmed she had developed feelings since his proposal.

Today, his outlandish proposal seemed like a lifetime ago, too. Having Luke’s unconventional blessing, Ben had mentally rehearsed what he would say to Rey. On the shore of the island at sunset, Ben had walked the water’s edge, pacing, nerves getting the better of him. It was insanity, he decided. He couldn’t do it. He returned to his shuttle. Closed the ramp and threw himself down backwards across one of the cots in the passenger compartment. He tugged at his hair, temples aching with frustration. She’d never go anywhere with him. Marriage? She’d kick his rear again at the mere suggestion!

Subsequently, he heard a knocking sound on the shuttle’s ramp. He ignored it a second. He thought it was his imagination. Or an overly curious porg.

But the sound didn’t cease. 

Ben lifted and moved to the cockpit’s window. In the fading light, Rey lifted her hand at him, motioning there was something she needed to say.

He nodded and tried to smile. Then he remembered his hair was an utter mess from tugging at it. He suddenly wanted to duck under the control panel, confidence evaporating. His mother always said ladies preferred men with nice hair.

She knocked again. He’d wondered what she’d wanted so urgently at nightfall? Usually, he’d noticed, because he noticed everything she did, she was in the Temple this time of day.

Her coming to him, this was the sort of thing he dreamed about, not the sort of thing he ever thought would happen. Especially not when he’d just talked himself out of asking her to marry him. Perhaps it was destiny!

He raced into the lavatory, boots skidding across the floor. Yes, his hair was terrible, but he couldn’t keep her waiting much longer. She might leave.

When the ramp lowered again, he stomped down. _“Rey,”_ he tried to keep his cool, remembering to sound formal and in-command of himself, _“To what do I owe the pleasure?”_

Rey blinked awkwardly for a mere second. _“Oh, well, you see, there’s a problem in the Temple. Some little porg is stuck in the channel that vents the flumes from the candles. I tried to get him out but I’m not tall enough. Luke’s gone to climb the summit to meditate over some such intense issue that’s concerning him. And Chewie’s asleep, and you know not to bother…”_

_“Not to bother a Wookie when he’s sleeping,”_ Ben said with her in unison. An important lesson learned from Han Solo. Ben, of course, being a willful child, had done so anyways.

_“Yes,”_ Rey agreed, _“I would use the Force, but I’m afraid I’ll frighten him more.”_

A porg. Ben had known it was a porg.

An hour passed and Ben finally, carefully removed enough tall, ancient bricks to wiggle the fat sea bird out of the strange predicament.

Rey cheered. The tenderness filled Ben’s heart. Was he actually a hero in her eyes?

Feeling bold, he got down on one knee and raised the porg in his hands as an offering to impress her. He wished it was gold. Jewelry. Some ancient, priceless, unique relic she’d enjoy. But at least the porg had large adorable eyes.

She laughed a little, sweetly. She took the porg from his hands and comforted the little creature. It cooed under her touch. Immediately, Ben became envious. He never dreamed he would become envious of a porg.

She broke him from his daze, _“You look like a fairytale prince, Ben.”_

He felt the color rise in his face. He had to know, _“You like fairy tales?”_

_“Yes. The few I know. Mostly The Bride of Yavin,”_ her face turned to reverie of childhood.

He parted his lips, feeling desperately it was now or never. _“Rey, have you ever considered marriage?”_

She stroked the porgs forehead again and the creature hummed. Ben stayed still, waiting with his heartbeat drumming in his ears for her answer. Her expression changed to sadness.

_“No. For me, the idea’s never been practical. Besides, I’m on my way to being a Jedi now.”_

Ben lifted, awkwardly wanting to be closer to her and comfort her in some small way. He decided to pet the bird, too.

_“That actually wouldn’t stop you,”_ he informed her, watching her watch him glide his fingers down the soft feathers, _“I’m not certain how much history Luke’s covered in your training. During my apprenticeship, we uncovered a text that revealed some Jedi Masters, in the times of the Old Republic, were permitted to marry for the sake of convenience.”_ He frowned. He wished it wasn’t merely convenience. He didn’t have a better example, except Anakin Skywalker.

Her eyes met his for a mere instant. She drew her head back in surprise, _“You look so miserable, Ben. We’re in the Temple. There shouldn’t be any fear here. What’s wrong?”_

He allowed his fingertips to touch hers on purpose. He would be honest with her. _“I’m returning soon, to the First Order, my undercover mission for the Resistance. The complexities of the task weigh on me.”_

_“You’re afraid,”_ she stated. It wasn’t an accusation. Ben was very aware she had glimpsed some of his innermost concerns. Frustrations about not being strong enough.

_“I only wish,”_ he looked at her and spoke softly, _“I had a partner.”_

Presently the General banged his fist on the cell door. Rey bolted awake. Ben moved from the wall, nearly forgetting again that he couldn’t show his affection in this disguise.

“This is unfair!” The General cried. “In the First Order prisoners are allowed the right to a private lavatory! Utter crime against humanity! You are all, honor-less swine!”

One of the rebels assigned as their guards swore in native Jeglarian and hit the door with the butt of his blaster as a warning.

“Sir, if it’s any help, I do believe we’re landing,” the stormtrooper offered.

“We are,” Rey confirmed, rubbing her eyes.

“Yes, I suppose when we’re dead human decency, and cramped corners will be the least of our worries!” He banged again on the door in defiance.

Fortunately, the General didn’t have long to complain. Before long, he was marched down the Shuttle’s ramp with a blaster at his back, followed by Rey, Ben, and their stormtrooper friend.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben tells Rey he loves her. And then throws himself into the river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11/16/17 - Ah! Less than a month to go before TLJ! *happy dance*

Ben kept his senses honed, considering every opportunity.

The rebels auto-landed the shuttle, in catty-cornered fashion, on a small outcropping that had exhausted its season for farming. Stalks of dead and dry vegetation, left over from harvest, littered the field, crunching under every boot as they marched forward.

They remained a few miles from the village gates. From military reports, Ben had seen images of their primitive fortress, built with high spiked cane poles. They would continue through the jungle, following a trail by the river, crossing at least once before they reached their destination.

The miles seemed longer with General-What’s-his-name.

“In-human! No mercy! A lack of consideration for officers!” He continued to yell.

Ben stuck close to Rey, walking just behind her in case, due to exhaustion, she stumbled over the roots and vines that waited on the narrow, overgrown mud path. Being resilient, she found the strength to drag herself forward continuously. The jungle felt more humid than before. Morning dawned. However, dark clouds rolled across the sky, casting the world overhead in deep gray. It would rain soon. Even through the helmet, he could smell the moisture in the air. Ben knew it might be the break they needed.

The General never ceased his bellyaching.

“No decency! No honor! Born without a shred of respect! We will be avenged! You’ll see! Jeglarus will be wiped from the map of the galaxy! You pig-swine will see how it feels to be without any necessity!”

Ben had picked up enough native Jeglarian to know, the rebels didn’t understand the General’s cries. The Jeglarians shouted amongst themselves, trying to think of new ways to shut the General’s tireless trap. When they reached the riverside, Ben knew he could end the conflict. Almost according to plan, small drops of rain pelted their shoulders. Ben considered the water the perfect camouflage. The Force was with them. This would work. It had to, else their cover would be blown, and someone would get hurt.

_“In a moment, I’m going to fall into the river and disappear for a while. I won’t be far. Find Armitage and reach for me. I’ll ditch this get-up and miraculously save everyone as Kylo Ren.”_

Rey turned her tired, red-rimmed eyes to stare into the dark lenses of the stormtrooper helmet. He could sense before she frowned, she didn’t like the idea. From her consciousness, the word _Separation_ formed in his mind. He sensed her anxiety before one of the rebels barked at her to keep walking.

Ben made a fist; doing his best to keep his anger in check. Not allowing himself to reach for the darkness that was always there. He knew the ordeal would be over soon. He had to keep his patience.

_“I have a bad feeling about this,”_ Rey admitted. _“Couldn’t you stay and reveal you were undercover for the First Order?”_

Ignoring their guard, Ben reached for Rey’s elbow to guide her down a pile of unstable rocks. When the guard moved to swat Ben away, Ben held his grasp firm and gave a guttural growl for the closest Jeglarian word he knew for chivalry.

Thankfully, the guard wasn’t a fool. He stared an instant, holding his gun like a shield, but knew better than to get between a man and his love.

_“Armitage would never buy it. He’d most likely discuss my disguise with Leader Snoke at our next meeting.”_

Seeing a giant venomous snake on their path the General hollered a new string of loud obscenities. Their newly courageous stormtrooper friend tried and failed to reassure him they had anti-venom in their pack. That, according to their field training, such animals were not naturally aggressive and did not attack unless provoked or frightened.

His words did very little in the way of calming.

Spying an opening in the trees to the river ahead, Ben knew the time was now.

Next to their guard, Ben grumbled Jeglarian words that equated, “Shut up if allowed to defecate.”

The brilliant idea struck a chord with the guard. The idea sat so well with him; he almost thought it was his own. Consequently, their party halted. Three rebels took the General off the path deeper into the jungle, for a slim amount of privacy. Without his constant yelling, the jungle returned to calm sounds of the river, rain hitting the canopy leaves overhead, and thunder rolling in the distance. Time passed. The remaining guards eased. Theirs kept a bored droopy eye on Rey and Ben, but with a lazy confidence that he was falsely in charge. The others allowed the stormtrooper to politely shoo the snake off the trail, his bravery reaching new bounds as he waved the snake away. With the rebels divided and lulled into a false sense of success, Ben thought his plan over one last time.

He eyed the river current, the rapids flowing downward over ragged rocks. The water’s depth would allow him enough leeway to pretend to drown. He would be swept away quick. This would only take a moment. Once Rey found Armitage, who was, most likely, boiling with cries more sour and condescending than General-what’s-his-name, and, admittedly, hard to miss with his bright hair, Ben would seek out the tribal leader. When the Resistance disk was swapped for a staged escape and rescue, they could return to the First Order gratefully defeated, but completely unharmed.

He checked the positions of the barely attentive guards and carefully turned back to Rey. She stood, arms folded across her chest, eyes closed in an attempt to regain and focus her energy. They would only be separated a few moments. And, yet, if they just had this moment, he wanted to make everything clear.

In an attempt not to frighten her, he lightly stroked her shoulder with his fingers. He had gently untied her hair during their near lovemaking, and she had not rearranged her locks to her usual style. Ben liked seeing her hair this way. Under the cover of the helmet, he smiled. The thought of seeing it down every day, possibly letting it down every day, excited him. Watching droplets of rain dampen her hair to a soft wave, he longed to run his ungloved fingers through the strands as he kissed her, the woman he had secretly loved for what seemed an eternity. He settled for slowly shifting her hair behind her neck. With a slight lift of her mouth, she relaxed and took his hand.

She deserved so much better. He wished he had told her on the Battlecruiser with soft music in their private chambers. He regretted not telling her with every kiss they’d exchanged in their heated frenzy. He should have been honest with her on Ahch-To. For him, it was never about convenience. He’d been petrified to let her know. The fact that she’d agreed so selflessly to the cause had nearly driven him mad. For weeks, to care for her so genuinely, to be so close, and yet, to feel so unworthy, to be so unsure if he could ever hope to deepen her compassion into something more had idled his emotions into sheer torment, until yesterday. Beautiful yesterday.

Yes, she deserved better, the benevolent and glorious keeper of his fragile heart, but now was the best gift he possessed. He could not withhold the confession he wanted to shout across the jungle any longer. She deserved to know before he left. He couldn’t live, nor someday die, without her understanding the depth of the connection he’d formed for her in his heart.

Before he could begin, she eased his racing mind.

_“Ben, how can you worry? I could never be frightened of you now…I feel you so intensely...Your heart’s pounding.”_

Regardless of who saw, with his free hand, Ben unlatched his stormtrooper helmet.

_“Rey, you don’t know what that means to me. You’re wonderful. Strong. Beautiful. Brave.”_ His words came like pouring water. He wouldn’t dare miss the opportunity this time. He lifted the helmet far enough to expose his lips. _“I know the Force is with us and you’ll be safe until we’re together again…I only needlessly worry, sweetheart, because I love you. I want you to know, I love you with every fiber of my being.”_

Rey immediately squeezed his hand in surprise, but before she could say anything in return, Ben drove down and blanketed her lips. Delighted, forgetting their troubles for an instant, Rey passionately tasted his mouth in return, darting her tongue against his in a reckless embrace. She felt like she could burst from happiness. She leaned into him. Ben Solo loved her. The jungle might have faded forever as much as they both wanted to stay in the moment. 

But the guards and their stormtrooper friend took notice, staring for a few seconds with understandably shocked and confused expressions. The others were returning from their excursion. Ben had to go, or he’d miss the chance to escape without a fight. He knew they would be together again. _Soon._

He would get them out of this.

A string of chaos followed. When Ben broke into a run, the guards shouted and drew their stolen blasters. With a turn of his hand and a thundering snap, Ben broke and dropped several large tree branches close to their persons. Enough to distract. Not to harm. Blasts were fired, but their aim was poor. Partly from inexperience. Partly from the rain.

Rey balled her fists as Ben slid down the riverbank and hurdled himself into the water with a violent splash, completely disappearing from view.

She wanted to call out to him. To run after him.

Instead, she held firm and gritted her teeth.

She still had a bad feeling about this.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Warning for people sensitive to the non-gruesome deaths of minor original characters*
> 
> Rey's bad feeling was correct. Ben's not answering her. Meanwhile Rey gets a little Jeglarian Resistance help escaping and freeing her brother, Armitage. Innocent misunderstanding led to suffering. Rey is forced into making her first kill for the First Order. Armitage promises to make her an officer. Together they return to the jungle where Rey hopes to find Ben.

Night had fallen over the Jeglarian village and Rey knew something was terribly amiss. 

There was nothing from Ben. Nothing at all.

Their connection, all of their practice, was suddenly in vain.

She had reached for him too many times. She knew now he wasn’t coming.

After their group had entered the tall, spiked village gates, Rey had immediately tried to reach Ben. There was no answer. As she continued forward, she was sure this was a momentary mistake. That, perhaps, the laments from General Thompson, upon seeing the village decorated with deceased stormtrooper helmets, was throwing off her focus.

The rain stopped. The moisture evaporated quickly, returning the world back to overwhelming humidity. As Rey and the others were quickly marched across the Jeglarian grounds, she carefully observed her surroundings. She glimpsed the small wooden huts their people called home. They stood in neat little rows, constructed like round haystacks. There was no power. Freshly lit fire pits fueled by animal fat marked the beaten path. Men, who appeared to be simple farmers, women, and children, gathered with suspicious eyes to watch them pass by.

Eventually, Rey and her fellow captives were led through another, more decorated, gate covered in various dried animal skulls. They found themselves in a circular encampment of tents created from tanned hides. She assumed by the number of warriors conversing with one another with excited gestures that this area served as some form of makeshift prison or military headquarters. There was little organization. Rey could hardly tell if the warriors held rank or considered one another equal. Either way, there was a joyous and proud buzz in the air around them. Although she didn’t speak the language, she could almost tell the warriors were swapping battle stories.

When Rey and her First Order companions were thrust into a tent, quickly bound and gagged, and left to sit in a pile of straw, she played along with the charade. After her captors exited, she and the others sat in darkness, except for the small crease in the tent flap. Quietly, she reached for Ben, again. He needed their exact location if he hoped to pull off the rescue. 

For the slightest of moments, she considered Ben was closing himself off for some specific purpose. Perhaps, he was remaining unreadable to keep an element of surprise for their rescue. She wished they had discussed his precise plan at length. She regretted being tired. She was still tired now. Ben had promised he wouldn’t be far. Although the Force had given her a bad feeling, she was sure the right moment to put his plan in action would present itself.

Or so she had thought, before exhaustion, the thickness of her uniform, and lack of fresh air in the tent had caused her to pass out. When she woke, the crease in the tent flap had changed from grey to black. There was still no sign of Ben. Her mind replayed him hitting the water and the eerie feeling that had overwhelmed her senses.

He couldn’t be dead. He wasn’t dead, she reasoned. She would know. She had struggled with the attachment for days and knew now her spirit would be crushed if destiny parted them too soon. He wouldn’t be parted from her without a raging farewell. It wasn’t his style.

He loved her.

No, this was something else. Not death. This was silence. He was too thoughtful for such a long, deliberate silence. This had to be an inability to answer. He was alive, but not conscious. Something had cut him off from the Force.

After fighting several horrid daydreams concerning his lack of a response, Rey calmed her racing thoughts. The Force was with them. She would find him. But she had to free her brother and the others first. This would be her only chance. If the rebels didn’t acquire their ransom money within the next night, in all likelihood, their execution would be swift. The First Order was not known for negotiating with the Resistance. Not even for a lifelong loyal son like Armitage Hux.

In the darkness of the tent, with her companions snoring, Rey began the slow work of unbinding her hands. The ropes were mere primitive knots of twine. As a scavenger, there were times when Rey’s hands had caught in narrow passes of machinery. She had practiced patience to free herself then. She required that same patience now.

Back and forth she wiggled her wrists. The twine would give. It would just take time. Like anything else. While she worked, she reasoned she would wake and free the formerly-coward stormtrooper first. He could aid her in keeping General Thompson quiet and calm as she searched for Armitage. He had to be in one of the other tents. Together, they would somehow find the path in the darkness and search for Ben along the river.

But that plan was quickly cast away as one of the Jeglarian natives entered the tent with a torch. Rey froze. It was too late to shut her eyes and feign sleep. If he moved to touch her, to take her to the executioner’s block, she would defend herself.

However, to her great momentary relief, she saw the native was the Resistance contact with the double rebel alliance tattoo. He had somehow survived his own clever assault on the First Order base and made his way home. He smiled at her with recognition. Rey’s hope lifted. Ben had told her this man was a tribal leader. He had the power to help them! Then she remembered he knew little Basic at all, nor she native Jeglarian. Her work was cut out for her.

“Ben Solo, the Force, wife,” he said in cheery, broken, Basic. He seemed rather proud of himself as his large feet stomped the ground, disturbing the straw with every step towards her. Rey was sure he would wake the stormtrooper and General Thompson, revealing her undercover mission. He held the torch high and displayed a jagged knife to free her. In an instant, he had her pulled to her feet.

His eyes were innocent as he asked, “Ben Solo?” He looked the tent over. Rey suddenly understood he hoped to see the man he’d heard so much about from the Resistance.

“Not here,” Rey drew her finger to her lips in a whisper, praying he’d fully understand this time. She wouldn’t be able to save her companions if they were likely to accuse her of First Order treason. She pointed to the tent’s flap, indicating she needed to leave.

He nodded in slight disappointment and lifted the tent’s flap for her. She exited with him, feeling immediately thankful the night air was slightly more refreshing than the stuffy tent. Seeing the stars in the sky, the galaxy that depended on her, renewed her hope the Force’s will was still acting in her favor. The guards outside the tent looked at them curiously, but seemed aware Rey was free to go. Her Resistance friend waved her forward with his torch. She scarcely knew where he planned to take her. Perhaps to the other tribal leaders? Meeting them would do no good now. Time was wasting. 

She followed him a few feet from the tent before stopping. Keeping her voice very low, she tried to explain, “I need your help. Ben Solo is lost.”

Her Resistance friend made a gesture with his fingers across his neck indicating what looked like a strangled death.

“No, no!” Rey assured him quickly, although the color started draining from her face. “Not that. I’m sure Ben Solo’s lost in the jungle. I need to find Ben Solo. But I need your help. I need supplies. I need a pack. My lightsaber. A blaster. Food.”

“Help. Ben Solo. Lightsaber. Blaster. Food,” he repeated the necessary items, letting her know he understood. He uttered several words in native Jeglarian Rey could not understand. She shook her head and assumed his loud snorts were a sign of frustration over their language barrier.

Rey decided to move on to the other pressing issue. “There’s more. I have to return to the First Order.” She tried to clarify in case there was any confusion. “Ben Solo and I have to return to the First Order to finish our undercover Resistance mission. But we must return the general, your prisoner, alive. The First Order won’t pay you any ransom for him or the others. The First Order doesn’t pay ransom. There won’t be any credits to help the Resistance.”

“The General…?” Her contact allowed his voice to trail off, either considering the idea of no ransom or Rey’s phrasing.

“Yes,” she wanted no mistakes about her brother. “The,” she waved her hands over her hair, “the red-haired general. Please understand,” she straightened her back and posture perfectly, held her hands, and did her best impression of Armitage’s sour, squinty face, even if there was little family resemblance. 

Her rebel friend laughed deeply from his gut and nodded. Rey relaxed.

“Please take me to him. You must make the others understand. We have to free him and the other prisoners. Else, Ben Solo and I will fail. They must live, or we won’t be able to return and kill Snoke.”

“Snoke,” her friend agreed, the word in his throat sounded like a curse. “Help Ben Solo, The Force, wife. The General.”

“Thank you, yes.” Rey eyed row of tents. “Please take me to the general. Tell your guards what we intend to do for the sake of the Resistance.”

In a short time’s wait, her Resistance friend grunted to several of the guards. Some of the men gave up their posts and took off in different directions. Before long, they returned, and Rey stood with a weaved basket of supplies on her back, her lightsaber in hand, and an old blaster on her hip. 

Her friend then pointed to one of the tents with a smile that showed his boar-like tusks, “The General.”

“Thank you for helping me, my friend,” she acknowledged him with a grateful nod, “We’ll free the others and be on our way.”

Not wasting any time, Rey hurried into the tent and ignited her lightsaber. In the light of her blue blade, she knelt beside her brother, who was rolled on his side. She pulled him up, seeing his face was beaten and bruised under his oily, tangled, flaming hair. His blue eyes opened with startling recognition. With a quick sweep of her lightsaber, Rey removed his binds and gag.

Free, Armitage immediately cursed. He felt the discolored knot on his forehead, winced, and then tucked away the pain like a good soldier. He tried to stand and allowed his sister to help him, only for a weary instant.

He took an unsure step away from her. Full of suspension, he didn’t raise his voice, but demanded in an angry whisper, “What are you doing here? What the hell happened back there? You failed to notice the prisoner was unbound? Do they teach you nothing at the Academy? I was told your grades were astronomical!”

Unnerved, Rey forgot herself and hissed back, “You’re welcome! I never tortured anyone before! It’s not something they teach! That’s what Ren’s for.”

“Kylo Ren…” her brother began to argue pent-up grievances.

Rey cut him off, “Is lost in the jungle, thanks to our plan to rescue you! Do you intend to stay here all night and argue, or would you like to escape?”

“Good riddance,” her brother smirked with genuine happiness. “Yes, of course, if I can trust a mere cadet to lead the way. I suppose my neck is at as much risk out there as in here.”

Rey clenched her jaw and informed him, “First, we have to free the other prisoners.”

“Leave them,” Armitage frowned, “There’s too much risk.”

“But General Thompson…” Rey began.

“Is as good as dead!” Armitage fumed. “He would never allow the First Order to ransom him. I’ve known him since childhood. He loves the Order.”

Rey wanted to roll her eyes. Instead, she cut a space in the back of the tent high enough for Armitage to crawl out. She needed him to believe their escape had happened by chance. That, together, they needed to sneak around the guards.

Armitage wobbled towards Rey and took her blaster from its holster. His fingers switched the lasers to kill before he leveled himself back to the ground. He muttered something about being prepared and crawled under. Rey deactivated her lightsaber and followed.

Back in the night air, Rey considered the row of tents. Despite what her brother said, she had no intention of leaving the others. In many ways, she was responsible for the capture of the formerly-cowardly stormtrooper and General Thompson. She quickly counted the tents and darted towards the one they were housed. She ignited her lightsaber again. Repeating the action of cutting a new line in the tent.

“Sister!” Armitage growled under his breath.

Rey knew she would have to be quick.

However, standing in her former prison, the stormtrooper and General Thompson had vanished. Only their indentions in the straw were left. Rey’s heart fell. Where had they taken them? Fear rose in her, wondering if her rebel friend had misunderstood her again. She had so little time with Armitage free and demanding to leave. Could she try another tent? All the tents? Before long Armitage would suspect their escape was all too easy. He would realize the guards weren’t on high alert.

To Rey’s surprise, Armitage entered the tent. When he saw nothing but the look of disappointment on Rey’s face, he spat, “We’re leaving.”

Rey tried to form a protest but her brother, who kept his voice forcefully low, said, “That’s an order, cadet!”

“I wanted to save them…” she dared to whisper, losing hope, letting guilt wash over her.

Armitage considered her in the lightsaber’s blue glow. His anger softened somehow. “The sooner you learn losses are apart of war, the better off we’ll be.” His eyes moved to the tent flap, “At this rate, those pigs will catch us any moment. Consider the life of your child.”

Rey grimly nodded. To keep up her façade in front of Armitage, she had to move forward. She was failing at being a concerned expectant mother with a thirst for power and family prestige. Of course, her and her family should appear to come first. They had to leave. Even though her heart was heavy, they had to move. Most importantly, she had to find Ben.

Mentally, she asked the Force to watch over her fellow captives and Ben, wherever they were. The Force had a purpose for them. It would see them to their destiny.

Feigning stealth in the darkness, sister and brother darted to the edge of the military encampment. Igniting her lightsaber a split second, Rey cut a small crawl space in the bamboo wall. Once Armitage was through, together they silently crept between the rows of Jeglarian houses, their weapons unnecessarily ready. The village was quiet, sleeping. Keeping out of the firelight, Armitage only paused once to mutter, “Ignorant swine. A city without a night patrol?”

“Off celebrating their victory,” Rey falsely suggested before regretting her words. She could feel her brother’s anger. He was eager for vengeance. In his mind Jeglarius was not a lost cause, they would pay.

When they reached the outside wall, Rey created another crawlspace. She went through first, finally facing the jungle ahead. Now she just had to convince her brother to follow the river and busy herself trying to locate Ben.

She paused, trying hopelessly to reach for him again. She could almost sense something cold. Darkness.

Her hair stood on end as she suddenly heard friendly pig-like snorts.

She couldn’t turn around fast enough.

Her friend had misunderstood her again. 

He stood with the prisoners at the jungle’s edge. In Rey’s eyes, the scene was a peaceful offering of friendship. He thought her request for help was invited to come with them. He and a nameless warrior stood waiting with the prisoners at their feet, smiling, torches held high. But, to First Order eyes, it was a scornful slap in the face.

“There!” Armitage called out a warning to her as he fired the blaster.

Rey watched in slow horror as the nameless Jeglarian warrior fell to the ground, never to move again. The torch he had once held high above his head dropped and rolled until it dimly glowed on the ground.

Her Resistance contact rush down to his friend’s side. Rey didn’t need the Force to know, he didn’t understand, he felt betrayed. He had done as she asked. His shoulders tensed. He roared a mournful cry into the night. Enraged, he staggered to his feet to stare down his friend’s murderer. He raced towards them, fists raised, a low growl booming in his throat.

Without warning, Armitage threw Rey the old stolen blaster.

She caught the weapon in her shaking hands.

“Kill him now and quickly, and I’ll promote you to officer for rescuing me,” Armitage spat.

Rey hesitated, unable to move. Hesitating was wrong. But how could she kill the secret Resistance contact? How could she blast him away in cold blood, when he had helped them escape?

“Blast him!” Armitage shouted at her.

Rey shook. The blaster nearly slipping from her hands.

The mission, the hope for the Resistance, and the ounce of concern, perhaps even respect, her brother had shown her, were all slipping away.

“That’s an order!” Armitage screamed.

The Resistance contact barreled straight towards her. His large hands ready to grab her throat.

It was her or him.

Rey fired.

The Resistance contact flew back. Landed on the ground. Dead.

Rey threw the blaster down, covering her face with her hands, a sick, cold feeling overcoming her entire body. She wanted to sink to the ground.

“What’s the matter?” Her brother leered, seeing her distress. “Do you pity this rebel who tried to kill us?”

She turned away from the body, unable to face the double rebel alliance tattoo. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run into the night and meet her pain, regret, and sorrow alone. But she could do none of those things. She was a First Order cadet from a proud military legacy. She should have been proud of this first kill. She should have doubled-over herself on the promise she’d be made an officer. She should have been cheering. Triumphant in her pretend goals.

“I said what is wrong with you, Officer Hux,” her brother smiled, then sourly remembered and frowned, “Ren.” He raised a suspicious eyebrow, “Did you want to be a cadet forever? Showing off to your little friends? All brains but no action?”

Rey removed her hands from her face and stared at him with all the anger in her heart.

Then she stopped herself.

She couldn’t lose control. It wasn’t the way of the Jedi.

“The Jedi,” she mumbled to herself. She was edging so off course, away from their teachings.

“What?” Her brother demanded in confusion.

“I,” Rey tried to cover herself, “I should have used the Jedi mind-trick instead. He could have been useful to us.”

“Yes, like last time,” her brother scoffed, “Jedi. That’s what got us into this mess.”

Rey ignored him. Instead, she walked away from him and decided to free General Thompson and the stormtrooper. She was fighting and failing to keep her face stern.

Her Resistance friend had not died in vain, she promised herself. Together, she and Ben would find the plans for the Astro Garrison and defeat Snoke. When the First Order was no more, she would ensure her friend’s name and sacrifice was never forgotten. The Jeglarian people would know freedom forever.

“Not a bloody moment too soon!” Thompson croaked as Rey removed his gag. “I was certain those foul pigs were about to use our heads as decoration!”

As Rey listened to Thompson’s complaints and freed the stormtrooper, Armitage searched the dead Jeglarian warriors. When he found little of use and became bored, he picked up one of the fallen torches and moved to the bamboo wall. Slowly the embers caught the wall on fire.

Rey panicked as she noticed the small but spreading blaze. A little too late she called, “Wait!” Trying to reason, as the others stared at her in confusion, she added, “Won’t the fire will draw attention to our escape?”

“Actually,” the stormtrooper interrupted, “they’ll probably be so busy fighting the fire they won’t notice we’re missing. The stormtrooper handbook states distractions are our friends.”

General Thompson began clapping. “Bravo! Brilliant idea, Armitage. Snuff the beasts out, destroy their home, and our battle here won’t be a total loss.”

Afterwards, as they searched for the trail back into the jungle, Rey didn’t hold back her silent tears.

Their mission was going so horribly wrong.

She would find Ben. She had to find Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6.10.18 - Sorry for the hiatus!...I have been writing on this fic and about a dozen others that I have (some under other names) since the last update, it's just been a wild couple of months (spouse chronic illness, surgery, depression) and time got away from me.
> 
> I really struggled with this chapter. It's got a little dark, but has a purpose and will lighten up again before the eventual black moment, and HEA.
> 
> Thank you for reading and the support. It means a lot to me :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has suffered injuries. He hears a voice that guides his path and makes an important discovery about the planet. He finally answers Rey. They share their feelings, but remain separated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings to those sensitive to Ben being non-graphically injured by a creature and a fall. (He's ok :) ).

Ben woke with a start. His lungs drew in a gasp of air. He’d blacked out after the struggle. His body quaked. His senses and his pain were returning in full. 

_Ben_ , a voice called.

There was something familiar in the tone. At first, Ben wanted to believe it was Rey. She needed his help. Their plans were falling apart. He shouldn’t have left her side. She had reached for him multiple times. He had failed her. He hadn’t been able to answer. Answering her now would only frighten her.

Hours earlier, his brilliant idea, his float down the river, had been going fine. That is, until a sharp set of teeth tore into his leg at a joint between his armored stormtrooper plating. Struggling in the water, he’d seen the massive carnivorous fish’s double row of large sharp teeth clamped into his bleeding flesh. Pulling, prying, even punching the creature proved useless. The sharp, flailing fins of the beast slit open his gloved hands.

Rushed ever forward in the water as he wrestled with the river monster, he’d been powerless to escape the small set of falls ahead. He’d gone over with the fish still content to taste his blood. The monster had met its fate slamming against the rocks. Ben would have been grateful if he hadn’t broken his leg in the impact. Frantic to survive, churned by the falls, swept behind, he held tight to a boulder, and pulled himself upward, until he was safely positioned on a ledge. Coughing up water that threatened to choke him, he’d needed to close his eyes for just a moment.

A moment, which had evolved into too much time. The darkness was his only way of knowing how long he’d been out.

He forced himself to sit up. He could barely see. Night had fallen. With the stormtrooper plating still on, he couldn’t call his lightsaber from behind his back. He felt for the stormtrooper utility belt, finding a light in the small set of tools. Igniting the light, he realized once more he was behind the waterfall. Tons of water rushing in front of him.

Ben strained his neck to see over the edge. There was no way he could climb down and survive swimming the rapids. To do so would be guaranteed suicide.

The stern, dark voice repeated his name again. Urging him deep behind the falls. His skin chilled at the sound. He knew this voice. Knew it internally. It was as though he had always known it and the cadence had finally manifested into an actual sound. His first instinct was to follow and find the source. But shifting pressure on his leg made him cry out in pain. He forced himself to roll all his weight on his uninjured leg. He gritted his teeth and rested for a second more, willing the Force to calm and stabilize his suffering.

He would get out this, he promised himself. He had to get back to Rey.

Now that she would have him, now that she had accepted his love, they could devote their lives to each other. He would accompany her back to Ahch-To, as she wished. Although he had no interest in becoming a Jedi, he would proudly watch as she succeeded. If Luke accepted their marriage as real, they could all co-exist peacefully on the island. Ben would build her a house. He would be the father to their clan of orphans.

He wasn’t about to leave Rey alone in the clutches of the First Order. Not with Armitage and his self-seeking plans. Or her classmates. Those fool, infatuated boys. A baby-faced club of future tyrants.

No, he had to fulfill his duty. His purpose!

He wasn’t destined to die a slow, aching death. He’d promised her he’d return. He’d promised his father justice! He would see his mother again. He would see her restore order with her lifelong dream of a glorious Senate.

Ben felt a ripple in the Force. Something, a gut feeling, knotted in his soul, demanding that he listen. Rey was calling him forward, while the other, more powerful voice was calling him back. The dark tone seemed to have him on a string. The closer Ben listened the more stable he felt. Pulled in two directions, he wasn’t strong enough to sustain himself and answer both calls. Simple instinct won over. Ben tilted his head to peer behind him, shifting the light. He felt an odd presence around him. He almost expected to see the outline of a figure.

He realized he was on the edge of an entrance to a cave. Colorful, primitive paintings of Jeglarian warriors and tall, ferocious creatures they had battled decorated the rock walls. Their civilization used this passage for some purpose. If he could stand and force himself to walk, there might be another way out. He considered it might take him back to the Jeglarian village and Rey.

His hope renewed, he muttered his gratitude to the familiar voice and gently began examining his bum leg. He slowly and cautiously removed the armored stormtrooper plating and looked at the teeth marks through the black bodysuit. Fortunately, his blood had clotted the piercing cuts, though they were swollen and extremely tender to the touch. Exposed to the bacteria in the river water, without a proper bacta treatment, he was sure they would fester. If he didn’t reach the First Order medbay within several days time, there was a possibility he’d lose the limb. He wouldn’t let it come to that.

Then he remembered, First Order stormtroopers were permitted to carry small vials of bacta on their person. He searched the uniform and the belt, finding a compartment with the small vial. There was barely an ounce of life-saving liquid, but it would most certainly aid him. He unsealed the lid. With his finger, he dabbled the bacta on the cuts on his palms and bites on his leg, instantly feeling some relief. Afterwards, he brought the bottle to his lips and ingested the rest of the liquid. 

His leg was still broken. There was nothing swallowing bacta could do to remedy that. But the liquid would numb his internal pain long enough for him to explore the mysterious path before him.

Guilt prickled his senses. He wanted to reach for Rey. For an instant, he thought to inform her of his injuries and strange location. But, again, his reasoning warned against it. Doing so would only worry her and possibly endanger the mission. He would wait, he told himself. He would see where the path ended. There was no need for her to fear. Although protectiveness was in his nature, he trusted she could hold her own against the Jeglarian people. They were primitive, but they lived by their own code of honor. When the path ended, he trusted he would find her. Then they would finish what they started.

He tore the material of the bodysuit from below his knee. Using the discarded armor and material, he fashioned a makeshift splint. Hoping it would hold, he used his arm strength to cautiously pull himself up to standing.

The limp was bad. Ben wobbled completely on the one side. He realized he would need the wall of the cave for support. The trick was balancing his need to cling to the dark wall while holding onto the light. He suddenly wished for a walking stick like his uncle’s, the carved snake Luke had whittled in honor of his time in Master Yoda’s swamp. Ben remembered sitting around a beachside campfire, listening to the sounds of the sea, as his uncle worked on the snake design each night.

If only he had an old piece of driftwood, the sort they had used in their campfires!

He closed his eyes and held tight to the wall, connecting to the planet, asking the Force to help him find a staff. After an exhausting amount of effort, a gnarled branch flew to his hand from the base of the waterfall. Although it was dripping wet, the limb would support his weight. He moved slowly, feeling he was at the pace of a dying bantha.

His uncle’s lessons in patience floated through his memory.

And so did the strange voice.

Calling him forward, Ben obeyed. As he moved the path became colder until he struggled to control the chattering of his teeth.

After much time and effort, Ben reached an area where the path opened to a large cathedral-like cavern. His mind remained hopeful at where it would lead.

He was suddenly stunned at what he saw, having only read and seen detailed illustrations of wild ones in the Jedi texts. In all his travels with his uncle, the Knights of Ren, and Snoke’s tutorage, he had never witnessed the natural wonder.

Kyber crystals!

Thousands of them gleaming back at him in the small light.

His mouth parted. He considered, what were the odds? 

Then he remembered, the discussion in the conference room, _“There are resources here needed by the First Order!”_

This wasn’t merely a mission to stop a primitive rebellion. Snoke wanted these crystals. He had never mentioned their existence to Kylo Ren, his apprentice with a cracked crystal and unstable blade.

No, Ben realized the voice had led him here. It wanted him to see this.

Ben trudged to touch one that caught his eye. He lifted his hand to one that seemed to sparkle more than others, almost shouting for his attention. He balanced the light between his teeth, the staff supporting him under his armpit. Gently he savored the cool, smooth faceted surface with his fingertips. The crystal seemed to hum an ancient, forgotten hymn. An overwhelming peace settled over Ben’s senses. He closed his eyes, relaxing with humble gratitude in the absence of internal darkness. His heart and mind were no longer at war as serenity rushed forefront. He might have been on Ahch-To again. He might have traveled back to his boyhood, to a time when the dark side was just a soft whisper.

He didn’t want to let go. Yet, he knew Rey needed him. She would have loved seeing the cavern. Her smile would have shined just like the crystal in front of him.

He quickly decided he had to have this crystal.

He had long ago accepted that he would never be a Jedi. But if he had this crystal in his possession, he was sure balancing the light and dark would be all the easier. That after their mission, he could strive to tuck the darkness away and seek to be the man he might have become if he hadn’t left his uncle’s teachings.

Awkwardly, he leaned on the driftwood and sought to free his lightsaber behind his back. He allowed the stormtrooper chest plate to fall to the cave’s floor. Igniting his unstable blade, casting a red glow over the cavern, he carefully carved the crystal away from the ordinary rock until he held it in his scarred palm.

Relived that he could keep the small treasure, he tucked it over his heart.

With the dark voice silenced, Rey’s voice reached him again.

_“Ben! Ben, where are you? I can’t keep stalling to find you! Armitage is ready to return to Snoke!”_

At the mention of Armitage and Snoke, harmony left Ren’s spirit. Across the divide between them, he felt Rey’s desperation. She was thinking of the river. Thinking he had drowned.

_“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I was delayed, I’m still on my way to free you.”_ He tried to keep his voice even, free of pain. He willed the Force to lead his path swiftly back to the village.

_“Ben! We’re already at the stolen Command Shuttle. Armitage killed the warriors who were looting it. He set the village on fire. I had to kill the Resistance contact!”_

Ren gritted his teeth and heaved the staff and his injured leg as quickly as he could go. Angry that he could not move faster, he struggled not to give into his fury. He would never make it in time. He knew Armitage. He knew the conniving fool would quickly need Snoke’s reassurance like a son needing a task to impress his father. Ren was already too late. Armitage would never wait.

Surely the Force had willed him to find this cave, these crystals? No matter how dark the voice.

And, although he hated the sinking feeling it gave him, perhaps the Force was willing Rey to return to Snoke. Perhaps, with her unique talents, she could seek to understand why this planet, these secret crystals, were so crucial to Snoke.

He had to let her go. He had to trust this was right. They were partners. If anyone could learn why Snoke had never mentioned the cave, it was Rey.

_“Rey, I regret I’ll never reach the village or shuttle in time.”_ He started, still hiding the pain.

_“Ben! Where are you?!”_ Rey demanded.

He couldn’t hide his injuries any longer. He had promised to always be honest with her. _“I met with a carnivorous creature in the river. I’m mostly fine now, nothing immediately serious. Rey, I want you to go to Snoke. You’ll do fine, just like last time.”_

_“What? Ben! I can’t leave you injured. You were with me last time!”_

Ren’s memory momentary flickered back to Starkiller Base. _“I’ve been worse,”_ he said earnestly. _“I need you to see if you can learn why Snoke had an interest in Jeglarius. This is a good chance for you to ask. I have a feeling…he’s hiding something from us.”_

Rey remained discouraged. Unsure. So much had already gone wrong. _“Are you certain, Ben?”_

_“Yes, Rey,”_ her name brought warmth to his heart. He suddenly felt the need to remind her, in a soft voice, _“I love you, and the Force is with you.”_

There was a long pause, before quietly Rey returned, _“Ben, I love you, too.”_

Thus, they remained separated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6.20.18 - This scene has changed a little since I first outlined it. Originally, I thought to have Rey fall into the cave and make the discovery. But now I think that's a little too similar to TLJ, so made this Ben's POV instead.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unable to shake her bad feeling, Rey contacts Boushh to rescue Ben.

As the reaches of space filled the cockpit of the Command Shuttle, Rey couldn’t believe she’d actually done it.

She’d left Ben Solo behind.

A nagging feeling in her heart told her this wasn’t right. She should have stayed. She should have fought Armitage. Perhaps, she should have abandoned Armitage and their companions altogether, escaping into the jungle until she located Ben.

His injuries weighed on her mind. She knew through the images and words that formed through their connection that he didn’t consider his circumstances as dire as Starkiller Base. She cringed at the memory. Course, he wouldn’t. Jeglarius wasn’t about to explode.

Thinking back to that night, she remembered her overwhelming feelings of joy when Chewbacca had saved the day in the Millennium Falcon.

If only…

An alternative idea sprang into her mind.

From her seat behind Armitage and General Thompson, acting as pilot and co-pilot, Rey feigned nausea, excused herself, and dashed into the passenger compartment. As predicted there was a holo projector in the small commons area. She grabbed it and locked the lavatory door. She slid down in the small shower, away from the inner wall where she might be heard.

True, the equipment wasn’t a public transmitter. The channel could be traced. Traced back, even, to her. But it was a risk she was willing to take to ensure Ben would survive.

She typed in the code for the anonymous, masked recipient and tried entering her personal cadet identification number as sender. A small error message appeared. She tried the number again, hoping she’d misdialed. She paused and read the error more closely: superior authorization needed. She grasped either side of the holo projector and suppressed a groan, hands shaking. Why couldn’t something simple go right when they needed it?

She wasn’t about to ask Armitage or General Thompson for authorization. She had nothing. No ideas they would believe concerning her need to contact a bounty hunter midflight. They scarcely cared if Kylo Ren was found.

Then it dawned on her: Ben! Kylo Ren was her superior! She had memorized his identification number and signature by heart.

She typed his number in.

This time the connection went through.

It took a moment, through the deep reaches of space, and perhaps even, for the anonymous recipient to dawn the disguise.

Finally, the figure appeared.

The mighty bounty hunter, Boushh.

“You have reached Boushh, dear,” the tiny blue figure’s helmet muffled the words.

Rey was momentarily taken aback by how polite the figured seemed. There was a familiarity, almost like she knew the individual behind the mask.

“I require your services again, Boushh,” Rey whispered. “This time I need you to retrieve someone. Kylo Ren is lost and injured on Jeglarius, somewhere outside the Jeglarian village. It’s urgent that you find him. I feel…” Rey stopped, not knowing how to explain the Force.

The tiny figure of Boushh leaned forward anxiously. “You have a bad feeling about it…” somehow Boushh read her thoughts exactly.

“Yes,” Rey exhaled.

“I’m on it right away,” the tiny figured nodded and vanished from the holo, ending the transmission.

Rey relaxed her head against the wall of the shower, tension draining. She closed her eyes, willing the Force to guide Boushh to Ben quickly. This had to work.

Taking a cue from Kylo Ren, she stood and smashed the holo projector with the heel of her boot. Satisfied with the damage, she tossed it into the lavatory garbage shoot. Never to be seen again.

To calm herself further, she washed her hands and face and straightened her tangled hair with her fingers. Staring into the mirror, she practiced what she should say to Snoke. They needed answers from him, and soon, before the Astro Garrison was complete. Before Ben had to return for another dive into the dark side. Perhaps, she could trick the Supreme Leader into sharing an honest answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8.15.18 - I love Boushh Leia. :) We don't see enough of her!! 
> 
> Ben's technically a third generation mask/helmet wearer, awesome.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they approach Snoke, Armitage observes Rey's strange behavior and mulls over his plans for the future of their family.

[Snoke’s Throne Room]

 

Armitage led the way to Snoke’s throne room, his sister lagging behind.

He expected her to show more punctuality and enthusiasm. For only an instant, he looked back. There it was, that vacant look on her face. He met her eyes scornfully, frowned, and quickly turned his gaze forward.

It was like a light had gone out in her.

He held in a sigh. He would not let her know he pitied her in any fashion. Pity would go to her head.

At first, he had almost questioned her loyalty, her hesitance to fire on the Jeglarian warriors. What, after all, was she studying for at the academy? What use was a brilliant, young mind if it wasn’t used to defeat the enemy?

She hadn’t been the same since the pig’s death. She had become almost frantic. Arguing needlessly about starting the fire. It was most peculiar. Course, there were many peculiar things about her. But her behavior was especially, indefinitely, unwell.

Then, of course, she had chattered obsessively about locating Kylo Ren. Insisting that they comb the whole river, walk the riverbank all night long, with no regard to the risks of running into more pig dogs. General Thompson had been pained to remind her that there was no sense in looking for a dead man. In Thompson’s opinion, it was honorable that she wanted to recover her child’s father, but as Kylo Ren was of the mystical sort, if he were alive, he would have found some unbelievable way to appear when called. It was agreed that he had probably gone on in the Force the way Vader and Palpatine had, or whatever.

The thought brought a smile to Armitage’s face. One less concern.

However, such talk had upset his sister greatly.

Who was Kylo Ren that he could inspire such dedication in an innocent, young woman?

Armitage bit the inside of his lip. Ren and his sister reminded him of Brendol and his poor mother. His mother had remained a kitchen girl, instead of striving to be lead cook or housekeeper, all so she could have more opportunity to slip away and spend time with his horrid father. She had never aspired to do more with her life. Be more than a man’s possession. It had been an utter waste in Armitage’s eyes. It didn’t take a genius to observe that his father had cared very little for his mother, save for the one bloody thing he’d wanted from her. 

Armitage fought bile in his throat.

Kylo Ren was no different.

When Armitage looked at his sister, even though she was only his half-sister, he saw an image of his dear mother, the way, perhaps, she had been while expecting him. He felt the slightest of stings recalling how his mother had been left behind so many blinding years ago. Rey’s poor mother was probably much the same. Like all the others, the woman had been hypnotized, obsessed with Brendol in his uniform, thinking their affair would last. Nothing had lasted long with Brendol. The womanizing bastard.

Armitage focused his gaze ahead on Snoke. He continued to force a smile. There was no reason to be angry now. Brendol had gotten what was coming to him. He had seen to it. Kylo Ren would, too, if he hadn’t already.

Armitage pressed onward, blocking the negative thoughts from his mind with daydreams of future First Order glory. He didn’t consider himself a man of great sappy, wasteful feelings, but he would take care of his sister. Yes, at first he had seen her as an annoyance. An oddity. Perhaps, even a deception. However, she had proven her worth. She merely needed guidance from someone older and wiser. Together, he had no doubt their family could rule the First Order. Some unfortunate day, when the Supreme Leader was no more, Armitage envisioned himself being hand selected to fill the role. When he was Supreme Leader Hux, he would need loyal allies. Who better to count on than his sister and her child?

Her child didn’t need Kylo Ren for a father when he or she had a perfectly capable uncle, a Supreme Leader. Armitage would raise him or her as his heir.

And if his sister was the type who truly needed romantic companionship in her life, well, McRory Pellaeon, brilliant bloodline, seemed like a good match. He was nearer to his sister’s age. The boy was loyal, but not so very clever that he would get in the way of progress. Yes, Armitage had decided to encourage the match at every opportunity. His sister could easily get an annulment from Kylo Ren, especially since everyone knew the mystical hoodlum had used his power and taken advantage of her.

Still, the obsession, now planted in her brain, ran deep.

The three of them, Thompson, himself, and the stormtrooper had practically dragged her back to the Command Shuttle. And then, she only seemed willing when they each spoke of her child’s well-being.

Yes, he decided, fervent obsession was the reason a light had gone out in her eyes.

Armitage told himself to be patient. Kylo Ren’s influence over the First Order and his sister would be stomped out soon enough. Speaking to the Supreme Leader would remind her there was so much more to life. She had a career and family here, without the raving idiot.

He bowed before Snoke. His sister followed and cautiously did the same.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supreme Leader Snoke evaluates Armitage and Rey. Although he knows Rey is deceitful, he allows her to interview him for her final class project.

Snoke frowned. Armitage had returned as expected, this time, with yet another failure to his credit. The inconvenience would set everything back.

Snoke easily pilfered through the young man’s mind. The same loyal thoughts. Dedication, though little skill. The rabid fervor a mutt held for his pack.

Yet, there was something Snoke rather liked about Armitage. It wasn’t merely that he was predictable. Or devoted. Unlike Brendol, there was a truly maniacal streak down in the boy’s core. If Armitage had possessed the Force, even though his bloodline was flawed, he would have been a most worthy apprentice.

The girl was another matter.

Snoke could tell she was still full of irksome secrets. Information, she seemed to have the uncanny ability to keep locked away.

But she couldn’t hide everything.

Although the rumor, the news of Kylo Ren’s child, had reached him, Snoke knew very well the girl wasn’t growing new life. Years ago, across the galaxy, deep in what most called the Unknown Regions, Snoke had felt Ben Solo’s first stirrings in Leia Organa’s womb. 

It was most curious why the girl invented such a lie. Perhaps, it was a deception born out of lust. She hoped to lure Kylo Ren into her bed repeatedly to make it true. Or, Snoke considered, she might have lied out of desperation, a deceit to keep Kylo Ren from focusing on his training, at her side, and under her thumb. Yet, his apprentice would be a fool to believe such a thinly veiled lie. With his talent, his darkness, he would surely sense his own spawn. Hadn’t Darth Vader known his own children? Wouldn’t his apprentice?

Armitage was a different matter. Although Armitage would not readily admit it, the General needed something to believe in. He would believe the girl. Believe that his role in her life was needed.

Snoke decided, ruefully, that he would not interfere. It might ultimately prove amusing how this would work out.

Kylo had been distracted as of late. Snoke would see if the eventual unveiling of lies would fuel his apprentice’s anger further into the dark side. And, too, if distrust would inspire actual greatness in Armitage.

Snoke listened to Armitage lament the loss of Jeglarius. He allowed his loyal subject to grovel several minutes, promising no other rebellions would gain a foothold. Armitage vowed Snoke would soon be in possession of a weapon that would harken the galaxy back to the fearful days of Palpatine’s power. Unlike StarKiller Base, the new weapon would not be so easily destroyed. Countless precautions had been taken.

Snoke let him continue. It was beyond Armitage’s comprehension to understand why the lost planet had been vital. There were similar planets in the galaxy. But removing the valuable assets would prove more difficult. Jeglarius had once contained a willing workforce. Until Leia Organa Solo had seen fit to teach them to bite the hand that fed them.

Armitage droned on. Something about being captured and his sister single-handedly rescuing him.

“I’m almost impressed,” Snoke lifted his head disdainfully, hardly caring. “A pregnant cadet on her first mission on an unfamiliar planet…able to rescue two generals.”

“I’ve promoted her to officer,” Armitage gloated over his family’s importance.

“Kylo Ren helped,” the girl quickly interrupted, her voice shaking. “Unfortunately, he’s still on the planet.”

“Lost. Possibly dead,” Armitage hoped, trying to dissuade any ideas of wasting resources on a search party.

“You don’t give my apprentice enough credit, General.” Snoke lifted the corners of his mouth. “Kylo Ren will return to me when he’s able. There are trials,” his eyes darted to Rey, “Temptations, that he must overcome. Take care not to interfere with his training.”

Satisfaction visibly drained from Armitage. He paled. After a long pause, he managed to mutter, “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

In contrast, the girl was still hanging on to hope. Snoke felt the daring energy bound from her. A folly that amused him.

She cleared her throat, “Supreme Leader, if you’ll pardon me, my classmates and I were hoping to gain an interview with you. We’re to give a presentation on Empire Day.”

“You’re done with the Academy! You no longer have class, a presentation,” Armitage hissed in an embarrassed whisper.

“I will finish my last assignment,” she said boldly. Then for good measure, she added, “I’m a Hux. How would it look in front of my well-connected, legacy classmates if I don’t stay true to my word? I won’t bail on them by abandoning a project to educate everyone on our glorious First Order.”

Armitage kept quiet.

“Since I’m here,” she tilted her head towards Snoke, “Supreme Leader, may I ask you a few questions?”

Snoke shifted on his throne. He made a steeple with his fingers, considering her purpose. She wasn’t being completely honest, he could tell that much from here. But he saw no harm in her little game. She might, unknowingly, let her guard down in the process.

“Proceed,” he agreed with a dull wave of his hand.

“What year were you born according to the Lothal Calendar?” She dared to ask his origin.

Snoke lifted his lips in amusement. “My dear, I’m afraid that’s not something a mere mortal can comprehend.”

Armitage looked sheepish, wishing his sister would stop.

But the girl was defiant.

“Are you immortal then?”

Genuine laughter bubbled from Snoke’s throat. It had been a long time indeed since anyone had dared to be so intrusive. Kylo Ren, naturally, was curious. Perhaps, hoping to gain new power for himself. But the boy was never so direct.

Snoke chose his words very carefully. “For hundreds of years, I have taken great lengths to sustain myself.”

“By what means?” She asked immediately. “The dark side?”

Snoke fixed his gaze on her, wishing he could break the shield that protected her mind. Now was not the time. But, someday, soon.

“In a manner of speaking, yes. However, it’s not something I would reveal to anyone other than my apprentice…once he has proven himself completely trustworthy.”

Armitage coughed and excused himself.

“Homeworld?” She changed the subject.

Snoke snickered, “I haven’t one.”

She jumped topics again, almost growing fearful. Snoke delighted in the feeling.

“It’s known that important resources were lost on Jeglarius, can you tell us what were those resources were and how far it set’s the First Order back?”

Snoke flew to standing. The Praetorian guards reacted and readied their weapons.

“Rey!” Armitage moved, jerking his sister’s arm to silence her. She didn’t have military clearance to know such things!

“General Hux,” Snoke waved him away. “Leave us.”

Armitage stared at his sister. Concerned past through him for a mere instant, but allowed the feeling to evaporate, as he bowed his head respectfully. “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke watched patiently as the General disappeared from sight, mindful that the girl stayed perfectly still. She feared pain. She feared failure. He would see to both in good time.

“Are you so very loyal to the First Order? To me?” Snoke asked himself. “You lie to your brother and Kylo Ren about your condition. Your purpose escapes me. You lack darkness. Yet you play them like fools. Do you hope to sit upon this chair?” He indicated his throne.

“No, Supreme Leader, I-I would never…” she began.

But he hardly needed confirmation of her answer. “It was no surprise to me that Kylo Ren rushed to wed you. I know everything about him. I sensed his compassion for you the instant it began. His conflicted heart might be yours for now, but he cannot keep you and fully know the dark side. No. But what to do with you?” Snoke took a moment to muse over ideas. He daydreamed several wicked torturous thoughts. He could have Kylo Ren execute her and complete his training. But he would wait. He would see if she were truly loyal to the First Order. Finally, he added, “You would do well to follow in your brother’s footsteps. I see his mind. The plans he has for you.”

“The Astro Garrison…” she whispered in agreement. 

So, she could read Armitage just as easily. Poor foolish Armitage. A simple, unguarded mind.

“It is my desire that you transfer to the new weapon with your brother. There are many things Armitage can teach you. I warned you to leave Kylo Ren to his training.”

Snoke watched as her lips parted in protest. She made slight fists at her sides. Conflict became her. She had true feelings for his young apprentice. Knowledge was power.

Then she hurled the protest, almost in tears, “Supreme Leader, it’s too far away!”

Snoke couldn’t help but laugh again. Had she been so very sheltered as a scavenger? Never traveling the lengths of the galaxy? Or was she overcome by thoughts of permanent separation from her lover?

“The Anoat Asteroid Belt is hardly a distance away,” he assured her.

“Forgive me, Supreme Leader,” she kneeled, “I thought that Kylo Ren and I…I could learn about the dark side.”

“You thought wrong,” Snoke dismissed her.


End file.
